Addiction to Femdom/Findom, need help.

Hey there. Your story is no different to anyone else on here. Our tastes may differ but we all have the same in common which is an addictive behaviour. We are being twisted in a vicious cycle and our goal is to break free from this cycle.
Again, you put in alot of information in your post so you are aware of your issues. You know your triggers.
Start slow. The damage won't be undone overnight so it will require patience.
There is no one answer fits all here. Just begin slow. Highlight one area where you want to change first.
I don't know much about your lifestyle. How active you are. Your diet. Your hobbies if you have any. Basically how you live every day. Do you smoke, drink or take drugs of any kind?

As you can see, there are many points to consider. When you have the answers we can better understand your life at the current stage. Then you can begin to improve or change things about your life that will help with your reboot.

Right now the only advice I can give is a very clear one but not surprising. Is basically to stay away from things that trigger you.

 

Welcome bro!

I don't have much time for a proper introduction, getting ready for work and all, but i wish you the very best of luck

My advice: sign up for one of the challenges on this forum and stay accountable in it. The first 2 weeks are always the hardest. Concerning your fetish, it looks to me like you are actively searching for that most intense dopamine spike, so the extremer the material, the higher the high.

Install filters, blockers, anything that might help you put your mind off of it and refrain from it ( I myself use AppBlock). Go on walks, excercise, cold showers etc, the basics All this will make you great new healthy habits to replace the bad

Wish you the best mate you will get longer streaks, just never give up

 

Into the same type of stuff. Never goes away, but becomes less prominent when the longer my streaks go if that makes sense. That's just my experience though

 

The fact that you feel ashamed about helping random thots get rich is perhaps the first step to addressing at least part of your problem. Do you also find it hot that those girls couldn't possibly care less about you or anyone else who's gifting them money? I personally have never understood femdom or findom. I find the former completely counter to nature and the latter an utter waste. But if you're bored and well off (in terms of money), I guess I could see how you could get into stuff like that.

Do you not think you're worthy of a decent woman who you could share your life with? What do you think is at the root of this for you?

 

He probably does. I know cause I find findom attractive and do find that hot. Never actually spent a penny, but masturbated a ton to findom porn. Them not caring is part of the fun.

 

I've felt that way. The more femdom I watch the more I feel that way. Girls on a screen calling you a loser isn't just fun and games. At some point you start to believe it.

But know that you are worthy of a decent, pretty, caring woman. You just gotta get through this obstacle first

 

I get curious about guys like you. If you have such low self-worth, how and where are you making the money it takes to be able to be so financially wasteful? You have to be doing something right. I'm not trying to pull you down; I'm genuinely wondering. In any case, re-read your comment again and again if that's what it takes. You have to raise your standards as well. Virgin or not, this is no way to live.

There's a girl out there for you once you realize that you're not a worthless piece of shit. The good ones are into assertive, confident and smart guys. You can be that.

 

You've got to snap out of it, dude. It's not impossible. Somewhere along the line, you got caught up in this and now, like a drug addict, you're having trouble escaping it. The day you quit this shit is the day you can start to look ahead to a brand new version of yourself. It seems like the setbacks you've suffered aren't totally handicapping you in life and if that's the case, you need to see it as an opportunity. There are many guys here whose health has been adversely affected in all softs of ways. Aside from the anxiety you've mentioned, if you're not dealing with anything else that is mentally, emotionally or physically handicapping you, you should be able to conquer this.

Real life relationships with women who actually value you and desire your physical presence are much more fulfilling than chats with random hoes online.

 

I doubt I'll ever really get it but I can appreciate the position you're in nevertheless. I see the girls you see - the IG models and similar - and I don't think for one second that I'm somehow below them or whatever. They're human, they're flawed... they eat, drink, shit and piss. I think what you're doing is almost exhibiting some kind of form of worship or something. I respect women and I think that's shown in a different way. I admit to having felt powerless before beauty plenty of times but I'm not about to lower myself to some beta status whenever it happens.

I think you need to reshape your perceptions and work on yourself in a real world way. In other words, consider spending less time on social media and porn sites and more time outside and away from your devices. Put yourself out there. If you think you have anything at all to give to or share with someone, make it known.

 

Never thought of it that way but good take. I guess the next question becomes why do some men of submissive tendencies in the first place?

 

hey, it seems like your fetish for femdom and findom comes from the way you perceive yourself. When you start believing yourself as a loser and a girl criticises you, it reinforces your belief that you're a loser.

Sex seems to be like a power play when typically it's the male who takes charge in the bed, in your case, since you believe you are a loser and submissive when a woman dominates over you, you get high.

I strongly have a hunch that self improvement, working on yourself , continuing therapy (affirmative training) with time would show some results to begin with.

for whatever reason, we believe we are like losers but in reality you are just untapped potential yet to realize who you are.

please dont give up on therapy, no matter what, an honest conversation takes you a long way, from my therapy experience i can say it takes time to trust and open up to your therapist, so remind yourself to have patience

take care, you will get through this