Addicted to porn and want to change and turn my life around

hello I'm new to the forum I have never posted anything I just relapsed after I think 3 days lol the longest I have ever gone was about two weeks. I have a lot of goals in life but feel so depressed and caught up in self defeating behaviors that I don't feel like doing anything to change it. thinking about changing it and visualizing what I want my life to be like is one thing but actually taking action proves to be too much to ask.. I want to go 90 days at least in order to complete the reboot eventually 6 months even. here is a little history on my porn use I start probably when I was about 7 I know It was long before I was age 10 later on when I turned 13 I could not go one day without watching it I had to watch it everyday sometimes I couldn't even wait until everyone was gone out of the house so I would go to my room and jack off to porn.. now I watch porn probably 5 or even 6 times a day... I have had lots of side effects watching porn luckily I have not had in ED symptoms or HOCD syptoms.. I believe it has to do with the history of sexual abuse in my family which is probably why I started watching porn at such a young age I really do want to stop and do want to take action but sometimes I just get depressed and think why the fuck do I bother why not just end it all... I believe iv'e pretty much hit rock bottom so.. also I don't want a relationship because of my childhood and so porn was the only sexual release but now that's no longer an option in life... anyway I have rambled on enough if you have any suggestions please don't hesitate to post some

 

thank you..

 

right now I'm trying not to have too much free time and just have the willpower not to and then uhh maybe go to the movies as well since I have a girftcard for 50$

 

also going to start a daily exercise regimen

 

thanks that was helpful..

 

thanks appreciate it..