Addicted to Azar app and video chat

Hi,
It’s the first time i’m talking about my addiction to Azar app and others chat video platforms. I’m here to receive help.
When i Come back from work and i’m stressed or when i’m alone at home and my gf is not here i download azar app. I’m not doing it everyday but at least once or twice a week. And it’s becoming a problem when I start to pay to talk only to girls on the app. I can spend like 30€/40 per months. My only objective when I enter azar is to convince the girl to get naked and have virtual sex with me (or talk only about sex). I can be on azar 15 min to 2hours, a waste of time.. After I finish , I feel ashamed .and then I promess my self to never do it again. Until the next time.
I m not ready to confess to my girlfriend I’m doing this. I have sex with my gf every 3/4 weeks and the aim is to get closer and have better sexual relationships. Sometimes I have break with azar during 2/3 weeks but I always come back..
I don’t want to have an open relationship and for me doing this to my gf is not cheating. I did not tell yet my psychologist neither. I feel ashamed.
I discovered Chatroulette, Omegle, 14 years ago..
Thanks for your help!

 

Hi,
Thanks for your answer, really interesting.

i will answer point by point :

Maybe you are just lacking ideas on how to handle the stress and boredom, so that the first option of coping mechanism you can think of is that app.
>> It’s a good point. I’m by nature stressed so i'm working on it with the psycologist.

In my opinion, you can try to be more engaged with life -- pursue your life goals
>> You nailed it. I need to find a balance in my life to be more confident, because it's true I think I've lost confidence in myself with all these bad habits. I need to rethink my personal, profesional goals.
Projects i have a lot but i also need to focus on few and spend time on it.
As you said stop expecting instant gratification without putting any effort. That's my problem, I always want results ASAP. I need to take time in learning new hobbies.

is that the key to happiness?
I'm bound to have relapses. What do you recommend I do?
do you recomend to totally stop watching porn, sexual content and only have sex with my GF? it could be an idea to reconect faster sexually and mentaly with my GF.
i also want to stop looking at the girls always with a sexual vision. What's are your tips?


other points :

spend some time on self-development :
>> i discovered in therapy that i was emotionally dependent on my girlfriend. i didn't see it coming. and it's true that before i was with my girlfriend i didn't really have this kind of behavior.

, read some good books, meet some good friends...etc. In this way, you may be able to forget about your undesirable habit and replace it with some healthy ones after some time.


Of course, a positive mindset also matters. Many of us here bear the hedonistic mindset, and that's not good, because it makes people tend to escape from life problems and expecting instant rewards, such that sexual indulgence becomes the only option we can think of whenever we are faced with those "triggering situations" (challenges). Life can be hard sometimes, and that's part of the life process, but whether it is a good thing or not, depends on how we see it and respond to it. It is not necessary to look for any form of overstimulation in order to feel alive.[/QUOTE]



thanks for your help DESMOND3.

 

thanks for your message @kondziu

i'm working on it , setting new goals. Doable !