Addict

This is the first time that I wrote down a post, without coming up with a title first. Because at this point I still unsure of my own thoughts. And about that I wanted to express my self with the hopes that this exercises will help me to organize my mind. I need to Learn awareness, and it's harder that what I thought. But esencial to avoid falling in auto pilot mode.. The so call "trance" it's a scary moment when you in a place that you can see where you going but unable to change directions. For me personally it's confusing. This is a very deep concept and if not understand right, I belive it can even hurt you. It can create a paranoid mind. When dealing with a inerself and the addictive mind and then the body and the aoto pilot mode and all this concepts, can potentially be confusing, specially when you under pressure like I am. Also I have done so much drugs in my life, including lsd and other hallucinogenics drugs. Which act directly in you're inner self, the conscious and the unconscious.
All this can make for a long road of recovery from a addiction.
At less I'm not afraid when I think I'm crazy, I have learn that. I can be paranoid and calm and I belive that is important. I'm just trying to figure out the program that would work for me. I think that because everyone it's different, there's not one program that fits all. Finding that covination is definitely a challenging journey.

 

I'm really sorry to hear about what your going through. I will suggest you also that maybe this is also time to search for bigger answers. The ones many of us stop asking or even thinking. Search for the bigger truth. Who is God? What the Bible really teach? Why is so much suffering? I'm doing that and I'm amazed for what I have found. I'm doing it because I need a strong reason to get better. I want to be friend of God. I want to live in a better world.

 

I'm very sorry for the damage this addiction have done in you're life. I can also sense that you are a brave man with conviction. I learn something that I want to share. And also have help me alot. I can be afraid and be brave. Because being brave is doing what is need it even if I'm afraid. In my case ... I'm learning how to be brave by trusting God.