Day 28 Lol I was one day off Anyways my friend somehow sucked me into trying Tae Kwon Do. Ahhh. Crap. Well, I'm alright with it. At least there's a code of ethics including self-control in there. I hope they're reasonably nice at the TKD school my friend Kye recommended. I don't think it's so great training on my own anymore -_- I been getting hecka confrontational with others and that's not cool. I was honestly committing to stop Martial arts altogether last night after I'd gotten upset again. When I told K he just said try TKD. Self control is one of the tenets. It could work I think you'll be good at it. Don't focus on how much more advanced otehrs are than you just focus on enjoying the practice. That'll get you farther. Very Goku mentality I think that's good advice So....-_-zzZzz I'll try. Seeing as I was pretty much ready to call it quits with MA. Honestly IDK lol. I can try I guess. Otherwise I'm jsut some dude with like one year of training. I don't know much I feel like. Is it worth trying to learn from books? Do I need to join Buddhist temple later too? One thing one day at a tiem ehere Let's see if the TKD school gets back to me tomorrow they prob will Training on my own has been getting me into trouble so .....maybe it's a sign or whatever you know? Maybe it's a way out of the Samsara that is getting depressed, training MA, getting angry, making trouble for myself and others, quitting MA and repeating the cycle from there. Maybe this time will work huh? It is a new school. And it's recommended by a friend who I can actually check in with about this sort of thing. Could really work and help Zen out. yea I'm hopeful I hope so. Man I'm hungry
Day 2, Checking in little late today. Had a really good day. I'm a Philadelphia sports fan so watching the Phillies make it to the World Series was awesome. The whole series was so much fun to watch and I'm not even a huge baseball guy. Did some studying for my CPA today which was good just didn't get as much done as I would have liked because of football and baseball going on. Got a lot of work to do tomorrow. Had some urges today and I found myself just scrolling on Instagram and looking at hot girls. That is usually the start of the beginning of a relapse. Instagram and all those other apps just always suggest those types of pictures its so hard to get away from. Usually I delete the app but I like using Instagram to catch up on sports news and what my friends are doing so eventually I will redownload it and then I just find myself looking at pics after awhile. This time I started tagging a bunch of the pictures as not interested so hopefully my feed won't have as many of those. Overall, good day I'll probably delete Instagram for a couple days to get back on track.
God dang I actually upgraded the orginal Naruto challenge page. Join me in THE NARUTO CHALLENGE!!! (うず) THE NARUTO CHALLENGE!!! (うず) THE NARUTO CHALLENGE!!! (うず) Yes -_- Honestly I think that was worth the 3 hours I just put into it lol Please do check it out if yall would like to Just click the text in my signature
Go @higor never give up you can no PMO Day 29 ommmmmm so I never do any threads but this one because the other threads seem to make me feel more stress and thus increase relapse risk. So I remade Naruto thinking that might help. All it did was make me more determined to keep trying haha it’s still stressful for me. I struggle with anxiety. I had 6k views on YouTube posts but it was also making me anxious so I deleted them all I was so happy about it too. Like how I’m happy about my Naruto thread now they say anxiety will improve as you get through the early days of getting used to it being In you life I want to stay on this new thread I made and become hokage of my own life. Baryon mode lol that’s cool too . hokage and baryon mode anyways Spoiler: Talks about relationship sex life my relationship has been good with C. And our sex life has gotten better. Im able to do non ejaculatory sex with her thanks to figuring out how to warm up quickly for sex heh she always wants certain things I couldn’t do before. So I found a way to give those to her. And I hope she’s happy now lol. I think she is, she doesn’t ask for them anymore now because I give them to her . she’s really nice to me and we spent Friday through Sunday together. That was one day too much for me and maybe her too. I want to make sure I do one day Friday thru Sunday just for me. So I get me time in on one of those days without hanging with others. The other two days are for friends and or girlfriend time. I’m off work at four on fridays. Wish I could get it down to three but I have to wait for my work hours to improve. Meaning more consistent caseload of clients I’ll do my best to make it happen. I got a raise this month that’s cool. I used to work at Taco Bell and go to rehab for substances when I was 25. Now I’m 34 and I’m a resident in counseling . I fee i r come a ways. My employers offered me a good salary when I get my license as well and I can continue as a remote worker. I may stay and just leave good enough alone. Or I may go work for my outside supervisors company, which would probably pay a little better and treat me better. That supervisor has always been very kind accommodating and leveled with me to make our professional relationship work. I feel like she really loves me and cares about me. As a person and a therapist. Working with her has helped me evolve and become more balanced and stronger in both the soft and hard sides of myself my current job Om I feel like they are just alright haha. Idk about growth and all that but pays good and they let me work remotely and don’t give me much hassle If any. Kinda sounds like I should go give the new co a try. May it be the hokage life I dream of
After posting to other threads and updating Naruto etc. I’m kind like,,,,,whatever. My routine is post to just this thread and go to the video call on weekends that’s it. No other nofap stuff. zZz I got a little hyper this weekend. That’s alright I’ll keep it calm by maintain my routine I’ve got going. I’m sorry for being crazy , it just seems to happen sometimes. Hopefully less over time I had a chance to study today but didn’t take it posting needlessly on other threads staying ups not good. Sleep is good What now? I’m sleepy hm guess I’m missing workout today. Maybe …need more sleep and I’d be ok to workout otherwise only four days a week ya maybe four days a week is the ticket. Three rest days sounds heavenly. Could possibly study more that way keep your head up team
Checking in - I woke in the middle of the night today, and my mind is not working well. I`ll have my therapy session today and I`m excited about it because last week I had some progress.
Day 29 I wish I could do weekly therapy with my therapist. I can only get in monthly at best cause I gots Kaiser insurance. It'd cost me too much money to get something else though. I only pay about 80$ a month for health insurance with Kaiser, but if I got Blue Cross it'd be 330$. Plus my primary care, dermatologist, and therapist at Kaiser (KP) are really nice and good to work with. So I think I'll try to leave good enough alone with them for now. doc talked about a rowing machine with me. I really got good cardio on the concept 2 at my gfs gym. As long as I kept it to about twenty minutes at level 5/10. If I went for higher levels my muscles started getting overly sore so that’s not good that’d be great to get cardio like that. Cause I don’t care for running unless it’s on a nice flat field which I can’t get 24/7 like I can if I have a indoor rower I could just get rid of my dining table to make space for it I think that’d cost me 6-700 for a used one 1250 new , yikes I could do a used one possibly I’ll shop around yea I’m kinda obsessed with training lol I got mats to do jiu jitsu with a friend but I’ve been experiencing training fatigue so I think I’ll return the mats and get a rower. That’s a more sustainable life plan for me. MA works as long as it’s just some forms and shadowboxing. once I train with others and we get into sparring I end up worse for the wear. Injuries or exhaustion set in and recovery can take months before I have energy to train hard again So if the boats moving don’t rock it I’ll see about a rower and keep trying out the one I have access to that’ would cover strength cardio and stretching with some self defense training that‘a about what I need to be optimally functioning fitness wise PMO isn’t usually an issue for me as long as I post here daily and go to my Sunday calls it goes smoothly I managed to have no O with partner and not go crazy. Sometimes it gives me a ton of energy and I get a hyperactive high that can lead to impulsive overly optimistic actions lol I stayed home and didn’t hit up the dojang that’s good I want to go but I’ll see what my therapist says December first we got an appt
Checkin in. Long term joy and peaceis WAY more worth short term pleasure of porn that lasts about 2 seconds.
Hey everyone checking in. Forgot to post yesterday this is Day 4 for me. Today was pretty hard ngl I had a bunch of urges. I found myself looking at pictures again which sucks I just couldn't help myself. Because of that I just felt like I had to keep going back and looking at Instagram or other stuff for a rush. I didn't relapse but still didn't feel like a good day. I just felt stuck all day and wasn't productive. Makes me pretty pissed off now that I'm thinking about it. Hopefully tomorrow I get my shit together
@higor pereira araujo maybe try saying some positive affirmation? Like I am disciplined Might help you feel like you’ll get the nofap streak going . Just a thought Day 30 cool the big three o. Guess I can count as Kalashi now haha. Oh well the Naruto challenge has stayed dead no big deal my schedules four days of upper lower and one day of bikram yoga 30m-1.5hrs. that’s good with me. On the first two cal days I’ll go for it three sets per exercise on the second two I’ll do 1-2 sets and make time to do some martial arts beforehand. Mma shredded has online classes for mma cost is 35/month for striking and grappling. Couple classes a week would be wonderful And so cheap. Even just a striking school like Karate will be a good $120:/month plus all the commuting and walking around in sweaty clothes , having to wash more clothing and sweaters when it’s cold. Lotta hassle heh maybe someday I could do something like that. You can get a lot of cheap sweaters on Amazon thatre nice like $15 I’m into this home training stuff for now and I’m diving it. Someday I may go back to a gym for it. Just not sure when or if I will heh maybe I can train at home and eventually with friends at home for sparring. Then just go visit Jeff Chan wherever he lives and see if I can receive a belt ranking from him hehe ^_^ that’d be great kinda like how I got my degree online for school so worth it for introverted yogi belt testinggggg word I’ll email him about it
You guys got this! I "beat" porn about 10 years ago. Then i let it back into my life last year. It has been very hard this time around because its not just P but MO now. I was trying to rely on foolproof filters to keep me from looking at it, but I realized I have to rely on my discipline (and hopefully not lack of it) for a more powerful transformation
Checking in Day 5, I had a really good day today. Did a good amount of studying, eat a lot of good food, and went to the gym. I also didn't cave into my urges and my mind felt a lot better. Definitely a good bounce-back day gotta keep it going though.
I`ve been doing this every day for more than a year. I just have to address the roots of my problem, otherwise, I won`t heal.
What was the turning point for you to actuaLly quit porn for 10 years, from "Always Relapsing" to "Porn free"?
Well good job doing it a year. Hope therapy keeps going well and helps you get to the roots Day 31 lol I feel a little hazukashi posting about my routine constantly changing but hey it’s a process. And the goal is consistent effort. Eventually it’ll turn into a consistent routine. I’m hoping to do three days cal two yoga. One of the yoga days I scheduled for saturdays so I can do it with my honey S2 been wanting to see her so much the past couple days. She’s been telling me the same. I think dating her is helping heal the anxious attachment in me. And make me more secure. Often times when we hangout I feel we’re getting closer. Then I go home and the happy cloud fades. Then I get a little scared she won’t call me again. Even after five months. But I know it’s just the anxious attachment coming and going. I do my mindfulness cbt and things that I enjoy. Remember all the reasons that she’ll stay. And that I will be okay even if she doesn’t. By the next time she texts me. I seem to be fine and happy to see her. I think over time I won’t be worried anymore. I’ll just accept more completely that we’re doing good, we’ll stay together and keep trying . she told me that’s what she wants on Tuesday. Whatever she says and does it’s reassuring to me and that’s really nice . IM thankful to be with her May you all maintain your streaks forever and me too
