Pondering the needs of my partner. I've chosen to abstain from porn, masturbation and orgasms but wondering if it is alright to still perform cunnalingus on my partner? I know it would make things harder for me but I have to consider the needs of my partner who doesn't suffer from any sexual addictions. This then lead me to thinking, well if oral was alright then is intercourse alright as long as I don't orgasm? What is everyones thoughts? Also wondering if it would illicit the same dopamine response in me if I was performing these acts but not orgasming? If it did then I think it would be best if I avoided it all together. Doing that would leave me in a place where I feel bad for my partner because I am putting my needs before hers.
I can only speak for myself. My reboot was no PM. We still did everything together as we had decided and it worked out quite well for us. Though not all situations are the same. You should discuss it with her.
My reboot started as No P nownits no PM. Like FreddieFox said you have to figure out what works for you. I know for me theres no way I could have intercourse with my wife without O and probably not even perform oral. I guess you have to ask yourself why you want to do hard mode. Communicate with your partner. If its important to you that you dont orgasm then No I wouldnt perform oral or have intercourse.
Hi GhostWriter, Thank you so much for taking the time to help me out. Very insightful and I am grateful to receive some wisdom. I now believe it'l be best for me (and my partner) if I abstain from all these activities and you make a good point about "needs". It's not something she brought up but just something I was pondering. Thanks again, it is great to be apart of this community and feel the support. I have suffered from a few addictions but this is the first group O have been a part of.
I'm pretty sure that cunnilungus or sex with your partner is okay. The choice is yours, but it think you don't need to create negative image of sexuality in your head. It is positive thing, porn is not. Try to understand yourself better and make a good choice and do not feel guilt or ashamed
Thank you for the insight Gary, Definitely something I am concious of but I don't feel guilt or ashamed when performing these things with my partner. From a purely physiological aspect I believe I am addicted to the dopamine response because I definitely experience the chaser effect. This was my greater concern, sorry my initial post was a bit all over the place was just typing and processing at the same time.
I think the nut is to replace artifical dopamine flood by dopamine from normal life. It is not about avoiding dopamine, but to work on normal level. Nevertheless I know it can trigger you more and then it is better to avoid dopamine.
