Abnormal Sexual Desires

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by thebrainiak123, Jun 9, 2019.

  1. thebrainiak123

    thebrainiak123 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone,

    I read occasionally on here, but finally wanted to reach out for some help for myself.
    I don't know when I realized I had a problem, but I guess I have just become more self aware and am finally seeing that what I have been doing is not going down a good road. I started masturbating at a young age, almost 26 now. I am currently on the 8th day of a streak because I want to get a handle on things in my life.
    All throughout my history masturbating, I have been creating and feeding certain types of fetishes...not explicitly porn, but in a way, we can say it's my porn. I've trained myself to become aroused and turned on by it in an instant. It's not healthy because I want to get married and have a family and be able to love and please my future wife. I realize I need to get a handle on it now before I enter into that arena.

    I am consciously avoiding my triggers, removing them, trying to retrain my brain to not get affixed on that anymore. My questions are:

    A) Is there a hope for me to retrain myself to become aroused in "normal circumstances" if I abstain from MO using my fetish material?

    B) Is a flatline something that I must go through...like if I am not rewarding myself with how my body is accustomed? Will nature begin to run its course?

    Last night, I had this kind of weird lucid dream experience where I was either dreaming I was masturbating and/or I was hard as a rock in real life...I'm not really sure what was going on. I think it was a dream, but I am aware that I was thinking about the stuff that I am trying to get rid of from my mind.

    C) Is that normal?

    To complicate matters, I am a virgin...so I don't exactly have experience to say that I cannot become aroused to a woman in real life, nor can I say that I have PIED. If I fantasize about a woman, I can become hard in certain instances. But the intensity of my erections are not like my fetish type erections....
    I just feel that right now, I am creating destructive sexual desires if I don't reboot myself to improve and focus on what I want to. I have this belief (probably wrong) that I feel I should be able to get hard just by looking at a girl..and I can't - that worries me.

    I need advice on how to proceed. I've never had wet dreams before because of my frequency/need to masturbate. I always took care of myself.
    I can abstain if that is best, or I can just relive myself with vanilla masturbation. I don't know if I should just continue to abstain like I am and let my body do what it needs - nocturnal emissions/senescence or safely relieve myself until I have rooted out these bad desires.

    I just want to regain what I think a male's sexual desire should be - hopefully I'm not a lost cause.
     
    starsky2 likes this.
  2. Fightyourlowerself

    Fightyourlowerself Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the community thebraniak123, you have come to the right place.

    In regards to your questions:

    A) You are certainly not a lost cause, many people here have fetish issues and had had them since they are very young and have got to a point where they are managed.
    B) Sorry I have not got far enough in the journey to experience this yet.
    C) This is normal. I had one this morning and it caused me to reset because it was too realistic and left me with a strong urge. I get these dream quite often but an experienced member told me they become less frequent after longer periods of time away from this. Also Being a virgin is again not something that isn't uncommon here so don't worry about that.

    I would recommend starting with a 2 week challenge where you don't engage in anything related to your fetish and then build up to 90 days to wean yourself away.

    Also ensure you read other peoples journals - you will find many people here going through a similar situation with your fetish.

    One other tip from me - If you masturbate on your stomach (this is known as prone masturbation) then this is really dangerous and will have to stop immediately.

    Best of luck on your journey, feel free to message me.
     

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