A light-hearted loneliness thread?

I check this part of the forum from time to time and it always seems like ALL the posts are really serious. I know it's only natural that most of the posts here might be a bit serious, but I don't think I've ever seen a post here that is even a bit jokey. Maybe it's more noticeable for someone like me who is both from a part of the world that relies on humour a little too much, plus I've often been told I have an unusual sense of humour.

I'm aware I haven't made a joke yet. And perhaps I'm being too serious. Perhaps I'm beginning to understand why no one makes a joke here...

I have been lonely today. And I wasn't lonely at all yesterday. In my mind it's illogical that I feel lonely today, but I still feel lonely. In fact it probably makes me feel worse.

I can look on the bright side though. No woman nagging me right now. No male friend around to irritate me. Have you noticed that guys can be really bad friends to each other? Especially a group of male friends. They just try to destroy each other, it seems. One-on-one they're not too bad.

Well, still not funny. I'll have to rely on bad meme things:

 

“When I told people I wanted to be a comedian, they laughed at me. Well, they're not laughing now.”

 

I posted a light hearted joke a few months ago here and no one responded.

I said a married co-worker told me once to stop chasing women, you just might catch one. Meaning be careful what you wish for.

Some people here are way too serious and need some levity in their lives.

 

Just what this place needs! Humour can be a great recovery tool, though I could learn to use it a bit better, it's helped me a lot... Having a laugh at yourself every now and then is a nice technique for the toolbox.

So, I was wondering about Pears. If there isn't two, does that make them a single?

That's just about the closest thing I've got to a loneliness joke at this point. Ah well, I gave it a shot - sometimes things just go pear-shaped.

 

I thought of something that might help me feel less lonely. I went into a pet shop. I said, ‘Can I buy a goldfish?'

The guy said, ‘Do you want an aquarium?’

I said, ‘I don’t care what star sign it is.'


(Tim Vine got ripped off there)

 

For some reason that reminds me of a line in Animaniacs:

"If the plural of mouse is mice, should the plural of spouse be spice?"

 

Oh my, that one is great!

 

I used to work in a helium gas factory, but I would not be spoken to in that tone...

 

About a month before my grandfather died, we covered his back with lard. After that he went downhill very quickly.

 

Uncle Ben has died. No more Mister Rice Guy.