There is no turning back. I do not care how much the urges come. The ultimate truth here is simple: you have a golden key to unlock the door to a wonderful life free of what has gone before. But the price of possession of that key? To go through absolute hell and keep going. To resist the most difficult temptations you will probably ever encounter in your short time on this small planet. That is the reality of what I (and perhaps many others) are facing here.
If you want a smoother ride check out the old Taoist information. Thousands of years ago they were doing semen retention for very long stretches of time (sometimes entire lifespans) and they developed some nice techniques to make the process a lot smoother. Instead of just feeling frustrated, they actively manage that energy that the body creates when your sex organs become more active as a result of semen retention. They actually welcomed the temptations because that stimulated the creation of more energy that they could manage. Don't let that energy stagnate near the sex oegans, move it up the spine by consciously focusing your awareness on the body and let the energy rise naturally. The easiest way to do this is to breath very deliberately, that kinda forces your awareness into the body. The more attention you give the body the better, in this modern world we are living too much in the mind.
I think so too. It is hard to be mindful of our surroundings deliberately when we have stress or fear inside. Like today I was sitting in a beautiful nature reserve with just me enjoying the scenery. I told myself 5 minutes of no thought just absorbing my ambient environment. But I was expecting a really important phone call (that did not come) and that stress kept me apart from enjoying and doing the exercise properly. I will give the deliberate breathing a go. Thanks for the advice. Try to channel the urges into positive energy.