A good place for making new friends online?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by plusscientist, Jul 29, 2019.

  1. plusscientist

    plusscientist Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone.

    I've been dealing with feeling of loneliness for a few days. Usually, I am able to fill my free time by doing interesting things.
    But, in the last few days, I've been feeling very sad because I have no one to talk with. I just stay home and do things alone. The fact that I am alone doesn't bother me that much, but I wish I had someone to talk with.
    So, can you recommend websites where I can meet new people? I tried Discord and Reddit in the past, but because of all the NSFW places, those two lead me to relapse. I think that Reddit can be a nice place, if I am able to control myself.
    Are there any other sites where I can chat with other people?
     
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  2. potso

    potso Fapstronaut

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    app Daily Postcard, beware of some users though
     
  3. plusscientist

    plusscientist Fapstronaut

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    Hello Potso!
    Thank you very much for your post! I've started doing Postcrossing(sending real postcards to people all around the world) about a month ago. It's far, far slower that waiting just a day for a postcard(as I can see in the app description) but it makes you feel much,much better when you recieve one or get a message that your postcard is recieved.

    I could try the app nevertheless tho.
     
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  4. potso

    potso Fapstronaut

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    hel
    hello:) that's very good!! keep up dude, peace! am happy it works for ya,
    all my best;
     
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  5. Demure_Dreamer

    Demure_Dreamer Fapstronaut

    to me, it would be discord groups.
     
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  6. plusscientist

    plusscientist Fapstronaut

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    Hey Demure_Dreamer!
    Can you tell me what kind of Discord groups?
     
  7. Demure_Dreamer

    Demure_Dreamer Fapstronaut

    Well, groups that are meant to make friends, for example, discord groups called or tagged "Making new friends". Or just find groups that are all about your interests, for me it would be League of Legends, writing novels or self-improvement groups. Then start hitting up random people and you'll be fine!

    Even NoFap website can be a good place to find friends, can't it?
     
    plusscientist likes this.
  8. plusscientist

    plusscientist Fapstronaut

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    Thanks! I'll try Discord.
     
  9. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    Hi @plusscientist

    Online is certainly one way to meet friends. I ask though, are there any reasons you specifically cite "online"?
     
  10. plusscientist

    plusscientist Fapstronaut

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    Hello @Minsc !

    Well, I am living in a small town where I can't find people with similar interests and I am also a huge introvert. So I would prefer someone who I can just chat with. I personally think that it is also a lot easier to find someone with similar ways of entertaining themselves online compared to in-person.
    That way of thinking will probably change in a few months when I move to one of the biggest cities in my country. Then, I will have a lot more opportunities and a huge variety of places where I can meet people who I share interests with.
     
  11. NIcolas987

    NIcolas987 Fapstronaut

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    Hello , i usually use Bottle . it is an app where you write a message in a bottle and trhow away in the sea. it can arrive to every person in the world . The great things is that NO ONE use this app for sex o flirt and it is safe for a fapstronaut.
     
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  12. plusscientist

    plusscientist Fapstronaut

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    Hello @NIcolas987 ! Welcome to the forums and congratulations on passing 30 days being without porn or masturbation! May I ask you, what about orgasms?

    Thank you for your tip!

    I could write an update about the apps I tried:
    • Daily Postcard was meh since people just randomly contact you asking random stuff which can't lead to nice discussion.
    • Discord could probably work if I knew how to use it, I guess. I joined a few servers, wrote about myself a bit in the introduction panel and I expected someone to hit me up. No one did. And general rooms are either too fast paced or no one is writing anything(depending on a server). Besides, I can't randomly jump into a conversation with people who are talking about stuff that I do not know about or are just talking about their personal things that I as a stranger can't understand(and that other members on the server probably do). Also, there are tons of NSFW servers. I joined some of them(not the ones made for porn but ones that have NSFW rooms but also normal, general chat rooms) since I expected that maybe older people would be more interested in chatting with an 18 y.o. but still, no success.
    • Reddit is okay. I like browsing gay subReddits since I am gay. Sometimes I write some comments and get responses. I wrote a few DMs but no one answered me. Also, sometimes, I get tempted to go to "gonewild" subReddits (porn ones for those of you that don't know) so if I become unable control myself, I'll probably delete Reddit completely. Porn isn't even that interesting. I'd rather do stuff with a person that I care about in real life but my brain is tricking me and I am not going to give in.
     
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  13. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    Good morning @plusscientist

    I never did move to the "Big City" so I can't comment what that experience is like. During my Jr. High and High School years I never did have too many friends. The people I did know eventually went off to further their own education. When I graduated HS in 2000 I had no real clue what I was going to do. My mind was thinking something like carpentry but since I had no drivers license I never signed up for anything. I was 2006 before I finally attended a plumbing program. Anxiety, or whatever, can be a pain. It took until 2002 to work up the nerve to make the phone calls to reapply to drivers ed and then get my license in 2003. Prior to that I was doing some work on the family farm, playing Phantasy Star Online and checking into internet discussion forums of interest. The net was a means to an end in my mind. I had convinced myself I'd learn to socialize online then transition these skills over to "real life". While I believe it helped build a certain foundation, conversing online and face to face I found to be two different things. By the time I began to seriously find people of my age group to interact with I was twenty five and pretty much still had the mindset of a fifteen (or so I thought) year old. Talk about being out of my element. Porn having taken grip by that time certainly didn't help. Today I can better see I was hanging around the wrong people.

    Meeting people online is certainly one avenue and a tool to use. My thought is to let it be a supplement, not the main form of interaction (if possible). When I was your age there was no Facebook, YouTube, Discord, Twitter, etc. While there were many discussion forums I wouldn't say they were used by the majority. It was certainly interesting seeing all those platforms rise up over the past fifteen-ish years, though I did get a little too caught up in it. If you are not doing so already, look at all the all the bulletin boards when you are at gas stations or any other shop and take note of other advertisements scattered about. You may be surprised to see what around. If you haven't already, make use of programs provided for youth your age in your town. At eighteen I did not realize how much getting involved could have helped as a springboard to interaction in the future.

    Experience is something gained over time, there's no short cut and we all take different paths. Where we are today is not where we will be ten years from now. Trying to live where we are today in ten years would be misery as we'd be denying the reality of where we are at. Hopefully there's something useful in my musings.

    @NIcolas987 Bottle, never heard of it. I'll check it out. Might be a good distraction, though I wouldn't want to get too engrossed in it.
     
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  14. NIcolas987

    NIcolas987 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much . Yes of course . :)
     
  15. plusscientist

    plusscientist Fapstronaut

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    Good morning to you! Here it is 14:16 so it's far from morning :D
    Oh, online chats are almost exclusive way of me having conversations with either strangers from the internet or my IRL friends.
    There are actually none. Those kind of papers scattered around the town are mostly ads for shops. It may be because of the place I am living in.
    There is only one organization for youth and I am not really interested in what they are doing. There is an exception- when they make board game nights. I unfortunately keep forgetting about them.
    Of course it did! I appreciate every single comment that anyone leave for me. Thank you for your time for writing and explaining what I could possibly do besides sharing your story! It was nice reading it!
     
  16. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    @plusscientist

    Those board game nights definitely sound like a great event to attend. Enjoy and make use of them while you have the opportunity. :) What ever you do I know you'll figure something out.

    Right now I attend church on Sundays. I listen to the message and have the chance for a bit of a social outing. Joining a local 12-step group has been a great help to me. I went with Sexaholics Anonymous, though there are many others (and a support group does not need to be 12-step based). This one gives me a place to meet face to face with other people who deal with the things people on this site deal with. Being able to share things in a supportive group is great, I do not know how I'd move forward without such an avenue. We really can't take care of this stuff alone. After the meetings we typically go out for coffee which I find to be a great help developing my social skills.

    Since I feel too old for the bar scene (music starting at 11:00pm-12:00am is less appealing the older you get) I recently began looking into music events like ceilidh's. Typically music starts around 7:30pm and that's great. In the past I went to Sci-Fi, gaming, anime, comic, entertainment, etc. conventions. Do find I'm growing out of those. The idea of Medieval/Renaissance festivals seems to be catching my curiosity these days. Keeping on moving on.

    I looked into the Bottled app. The bottle theme allows for random matchmaking to people around the world which seems to transition to a typical Messenger-like chat interface. Have yet to get too deep into it.

    When installing Bottled I discovered another chat program called Slowly. Basically, it is a letter mail simulator. You are randomly match based on interests and a few other options (much like Bottled) and then proceed to correspond at snail speed. Letter send and receive time is based on the difference in geographical location. A letter I sent will take about 16-24 hours to arrive. How quaint. :p If one wants to escape the "always connected" mentality then this may just be the app.
     
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  17. plusscientist

    plusscientist Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much for sharing!
     
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