A change of perspective for 25 year old

Hello guys my name is Kyle and I have dabbled in NoFap a few times only 7 days streak. A little information about myself. I am a musician who plays drums, guitar, sing and like to write music, but I also enjoy football, working out, being social ect. When I was younger I had a strange fetish (which I don't feel uncomfortable talking about.) and eventually around 13 years old discovered accidently masturbation, I actually thought I broke something! But started messing around and figuring out that every other day was best for me, rarely once a day. (I never understood how many guys could do it 3+ times a day, I could never have feeling or sensation. It would be unfun.) Then eventually finding out if I waited a few days it would feel better.

But anyhow through out the years around highschool and now I've been more fatigued, tired, depressed, unmotivated, anxiety, stress, feeling not confident, not finishing things sometimes once it loses excitement. And especially this past year, my erections don't happen randomly, if rarely. I can get it up, but sometimes it really takes effort. When I masturbated I first used my hand, but the past few years, using a pillow. Not sure if that was bad or not. I tried doing a lot of things such as taking zinc, and other minerals and researching until I found out the hard way when I took iron one time and it scared the heck out of me after I started to get dizzy, and went around to doctors figuring it out, but now finding out nothing bad!

So I'm thinking maybe I need a reboot! As a skinny 25 year old, who feels unsure, not confident, tired maybe something like this could work, along with other tools (Knowing that this isn't the only useful tool to help with the main picture.) I never really used porn to be honest, one time I remember a month messing around but it was just not me. I used fantasy, and real life possibilities. Luckily in the past, I don't seem to have problems with gaining a erection if I kiss a girl, or sensing that she likes me which is great. Also I'm a virgin, I could have hooked up with a few people but I always try to do the right thing and at the times it wasn't right. So that eats at me sometimes, but that's rare.

Now onto today, I am on day 8 and a half and the few past days felt more energized, with a temper actually. My erections are not hard, but I feel a fullness. I still have periods of tiredness like today around the afternoon I felt exhausted, and had to take a nap after work. I accepted that NoFap isn't going to make perfect days, I am still going to feel anxious every once in a while, I am still going to deal with what I deal with. But the good moments are going to be great, so if 80% of the day is wonderful, then its worth it. So there, my fingers are typed out. Hope to go 30 days!

Some goals: I want to lead a healthy lifestyle. (I already am eating healthy, never smoked or did any drugs, water no soda, working out.)
I want to have a good social life. (I hate when it feels awkward, or that people tell me I look to serious or awkward.) I want to be confident and not care, while being fun to hang with.
I want to keep being motivated instead of losing it when it gets old. Things like upkeep, organizing.
I want to date, and have fun. (I have hooked up, and dated a few times. But haven't dated in the past 3 years. Health issues sort of took over, and being anxious.)

And a question. Is it normal for your balls to feel hard? Is it safe to abstain? Is there a way to avoid wet dreams? (I know I avoid sleeping on my back, it makes them happen.)

 

Hello nice to meet you! My attack is acceptance of thoughts of wanting to do it but by expressing the pros of not doing it I can avoid it. Also by keeping busy, drumming, working out ECT.