I was doing great in abstaining from PM for the past several months, then a couple of weeks ago I lost control. For reasons unknown, I suddenly became extremely obsessed with porn and started masturbating very frequently whenever I was alone at home. Then, furious at my wife over the lack of sex these past three years, I began joining websites to search for a fuck buddy, for an affair. I didn't really pay attention to this behavior, plus the fact I was dealing with a frequently upset stomach and several trips to the bathroom every day, until last Saturday morning when I woke up having a panic attack, the first I had experienced in several years. I woke up my wife to tell her about it, and she asked if I was still going in to work. I said that I was planning to, but, first, I needed to figure out what was wrong with me. Then my lovely spouse asked if perhaps a recent change in my meds could account for what was happening. Right before this change in my behavior, my psychiatrist suggested I try a another mood stabilizer in place of the one I had been taking the past four years to better help me with my OCD. I found and read over the slip of paper that came with the medication, and, sure enough, people taking this medication often suffered from diarrhea, upset stomach, and panic attacks. Then, it occured to me that perhaps my recent compulsion to PMO and search for another partner might also be due to this change in meds. I worked on calming myself down, went to work, then came home and relaxed. That night I took the meds I had been taking, and within a couple of days all the negative symptoms I had been experiencing disappeared, including the compulsions to fap and to look for sex elsewhere. It's been a week since I went back to my old meds, a week since I PMO'ed so I reset the counter today. And next time my psychiatrist recommends I try a new medication, I'm going to ask a lot more questions about its side effects.
