90 days and now?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by vanilla gorilla52, Mar 9, 2019.

  1. vanilla gorilla52

    vanilla gorilla52 Fapstronaut

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    Hello my friends,

    I am porn addicted since 35 years and I have reached yesterday my 90th day.
    I have reached this with the help of this community. Thank you all. Alone I would not able to do this.

    I know I should feel happy about this. But somehow I can’t. I am very depressed since the last weeks. Of course I can still feel the benefits of NoFap. I am much more confident and I can easily speak to other people especially to women.

    But somehow I just feel that I lost all my goals. So yesterday I wanted to watch porn again and had the urge to go back to my old life. Luckily I got drunk (I am not proud of this) so I couldn’t relapse.

    I really don’t know what to do. It seems that I have lost all my motivation. But then I was reading all the comments how you fight against this addiction. So I just can’t go back to this motherfucking addiction. Keep fighting.

    I really would appreciate any comment how I can get out of my depression and get new motivation.

    Thank you
     
  2. Wide Awakening

    Wide Awakening Fapstronaut

    Hey you. Massive congratulations on reaching 90 days.

    What are your goals beyond beating this addiction? If your only goal is to beat this addiction, it kind of makes sense that once you start to get a grip on not relapsing so often, that your motivation will flag.

    Think about how you can help others; maybe you could spend time each day reaching out to users on this forum struggling and help them to reach 90 days as you have done. Could you help out people locally in your community? The reason I suggest this is because helping others has been proven to be one of the best ways to feel good about yourself.

    If that doesn't sound good to you, just spend some time thinking about the things you want to do with your life once your addiction is behind you. Start making those activities part of your daily routine. A sport, a musical instrument, a club in your community; anything which represents healthy activity for you and that you can become involved in regularly. Then you'll find the motivation for life seems to come a little more naturally.

    I hope you find this helpful brother. Good luck on your journey.

    One last suggestion: you could join a 12-step fellowship (such as Sex Addicts Anonymous). The meetings and the regular contact with people in the same situation as you can be an amazingly uplifting power. Especially in times when you feel like relapsing, reaching out to someone from the 12-step programme can help banish the urges and build healthy habits around honesty and good communication.
     
  3. Nielsnlnl

    Nielsnlnl Fapstronaut

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    Hey dude im new here but my first thought when i was reading your post is that. Don't go back to youre old life
    You are doing really well now

    I think that there is a reason for youre feelings right now, i think that there is a lot of shit in youre life where your are not happy about and now it is time to face that so you can do something about it.

    My suggestion is that you stay by the depressing feeling so don't try to change it and think about it in way like what is this feeling telling me where is it coming from and what is the message.

    I believe that if you stay with the feeling the answer to it will come and that will be the next thing what you need to fix in youre life.

    Gr Niels
     
    vanilla gorilla52 likes this.
  4. Man08

    Man08 Fapstronaut

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    I've been there, let the pain do its work, don't try to find ways to relieve it , let it do its work, this is the only way to heal.I've learnt that my mind used porn and masturbation as a way to escape from pain but when I stopped, then, my mind became crazy, I felt its scream for its dose of pleasure, there were moments when I had an entire week of urges, I was constantly thinking at porn, the pain was really tough, depression, anxiety, hate and many other negative and harmful feelings, I had them all, I am still here, still fighting the good fight.

    Let me tell you this, it's not about staying away from porn and masturbation to win more days, it's all about not giving up in those hard days when you feel like everything is lost, these are the days that you are truly winning.

    We can't run from pain, we can't ignore it, it's always there, waiting for us to embrace it so that we can heal and move forward in life.
     
  5. vanilla gorilla52

    vanilla gorilla52 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot for your time and your suggestions. I really appreciate this. Yes helping others is a good way to stay motivated. I wish you the best my friend.
     
  6. vanilla gorilla52

    vanilla gorilla52 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you my friend for your thoughts. I really appreciate this. It’s so true what you said. We can’t run away from our pain. It’s great that your still on the good way. I will also keep fighting. I wish you the best my friend.
     
    Man08 and Celticwarrior16 like this.
  7. vanilla gorilla52

    vanilla gorilla52 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you my friend. I really appreciate your advice. I wish you the best for your fight
     
    Nielsnlnl likes this.
  8. Celticwarrior16

    Celticwarrior16 Fapstronaut

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    Man I’m glad I’ve found you, well done on reaching 90 days, that’s phenomenal. I’m not much help to you but Thanks for raising this, I’ve a week to go to 90 days and I’m feeling really weird about getting there like a real impending empty feeling. I’m really interested in the replies you get also.
     
    vanilla gorilla52 likes this.
  9. vanilla gorilla52

    vanilla gorilla52 Fapstronaut

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    Hello my friend, great that you went so far. My problem was that I didn’t had a goal or idea what will come after the 90 days. Now I know that I want to integrate NoFap as a life style. What do you want after reaching the 90 days? I wish you the best.
     

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