Day 18!!! Feeling more connected with my loved ones and less brain fog! Fasting has helped me realize that if I can give up food and water (things that I need) I can give up PMO (things I don’t want). LETS GOOOOO AND LETS GROOOWWWW!!
I am in, Day 0 i just fapped today after 21 days because of some weird spiritual sex stuff and hands free orgasm, shit it just ruined my stuff but still, its ok ups and down are part of it so lets get on with it
I just relapsed yesterday. My GF was horny and also I could not manage it, actually I wanted to have sex and today I still want because we went to a wild party last night and so ... But I really made progress which I am proud of, basically I had relapsed 2 times and it was sex with my GF and did not do PMO for more than 2 month. I will reset my counter because I don't want to have sex for 3 month, let's fight again
In my opinion, having sex with your loved one shouldn’t count as relapse. But if you have a specific reason to abstain from that, you have to make sure your GF is onboard too.
Day 3. I joined this forum 300 days ago. Of those 300 days, I was 260 days without M’ing to P. I've started driving lessons some months ago. I'm 37, so not exactly early. And through that I've discovered a habit of mine that also explains why I'm having such a hard time quitting PMO. What I do in the car is: the instructor teaches me something, I practice a few times on a road with no traffic, it goes perfectly well. Then we go to a busy area with lots of traffic, I panic, I totally forget everything I've learned, my mind goes blank and I do something stupid. Then I catch myself again, I drive on, everything goes well, I might make a small mistake again but then immediately learn from it, I'm clearly progressing. And then I turn a corner, something unexpected happens, I lose the whole thing again. And so on. So, this is how I learn, I guess. I make progress, but every now and then I panic, go crazy, and momentarily forget everything I've learned. The same goes for PM: I just do it nowadays when I stress and for a moment just seem to forget everything I've been striving for. So I guess the solution is that at least whenever I'm at the computer for a long time to just repeat and repeat and repeat what I need to remember like a mantra: "I can do this. Stress is counterproductive. Porn will bring me nothing but frustration. I can do this. Stress is counterproductive. Porn will bring me nothing but frustration. I can do this. Stress is counterproductive. Porn will bring me nothing but frustration." And I'm gonna set an alarm to recite this every 20 mins that I'm at the computer.
Whoah, what were you doing exactly? "Spiritual sex stuff and hands free orgasm" sounds wild. And if you did this with another person, that's not a relapse, right? Or you mean you fapped afterwards? Why the hell would you fap if you just had "spiritual sex stuff and hands free orgasm"?
Welcome back! It's great that you've made a step in knowing yourself better. A diagnose like that must have been a shock, but it also gives you something more concrete to work with. And it's great that you've detected a clear pattern in your PMO. We're learning a little everyday. And every single 'no' to the thought of PMO is a win.
1/90 - Proud to report 1 day in the bag! @Merry Terry and @Pone thanks for welcoming me back! The bipolar "diagnosis" (my counselor didn't technically give me a medical diagnosis because he doesn't like labeling people, he just said I have "tendencies") actually wasn't much of a shock at all. I've seen myself have very high "highs" where I'm overly optimistic and starting new, crazy ventures and then VERY low "lows" where I'm depressive, hopeless, despairing, and at the lowest points wrestling with suicidal thoughts. So, I actually wasn't surprised when he said it. It was more of a "ok Tim it's time to get honest with yourself and acknowledge that you've been oscillating like this for your entire adult life." ...it worked fine when I was single because I could hide the major depressive phases at home alone (medicating with porn and alcohol). Now that I'm married it's coming to light how big of a problem that is and that I need to grow bigger and stronger than it in order to create security for my wife. Anyway, great to be back and to see some familiar faces!