Day 3/90. Seems like there is so far yet to go, but I know that this is all worth it. Just keeping on praying and keeping on trying, and I know this will end soon. So, I guess the fight continues!
86/90....four days away....observations to share with the brotherhood here: 1. By whatever mean, learn to say good bye to the old habits and learn new ones. 2. If you fail, learn, because if you learn then it was never a failure to begin with but a wonderful opportunity for growth. 3. Be kind to yourselves, never ever ever speak poorly of yourselves. We are all in this together and by living one day at a time we are warriors....
2 days out, 88 to go. feeling tired today but overall it was a good day. yesterday was also a good day, this comes to prove that when binging don´t follow a relapse, the withdrawal is much lighter. i feel no negativity, no crying feeling whatsoever, and i´m still mild confident aroung woman, only small tension. i´m also clean from caffeine since 2 weeks ago, maybe that also helps. i wish all my brothers strengh, focus, courage and perseverance. the reboot is hard but it´s possible. in the darkest days of withdrawal the all world may seem to crumble before our eyes and nothing makes sense. been there so many times. but freedom is just up ahead, our life deserves all efforts. don´t give up my friends. you can do it!!!
Puh, maybe you`re right, but I dont want to disturb them. Like I said there are very professional dancers. But yeah I remember that someone helped me with one move. I didnt even asked for his help. Well let`s take a look
Day 35 Tired of school. Dont want to go there anymore, but I started today with my skilled work ^^( Idk if its the real translation xD), unfortunately I must be done next thursday . Anyway after I couldnt concentrate anymore at my work i went outside and walk half an hour, guess what it helped.
Waking up was difficult today, felt myself diving deep into sexual fantasy Got up thinking I relapsed when really I didn't physically do anything to myself, just mentally doing a lot of risky things I felt myself getting comfortable in it, almost egging it on which I know this is not good behavior for my reboot I really hope I can break out of this nasty behavior because it makes me feel gross almost as if I was bingeing on Porn or excessively edging until orgasm I feel a little sick from it, not in the right head space right now Will go to Gym later to shake this off but right now I need to focus
24/90 I came home a bit depressed. I had felt some negativity against me and i repressed the anger that was in me. It would be worse if I would give back that negative reaction. But after school I had a beer with my friend, and that time was pretty good. I talked with him about my addiction, and that I'm fighting against it, and he said that he's fighting two. And the interesting part is that he's on the third week of abstinence just like me. It's pretty awesome. So I'm satisfied with this day
First, I plan to PMO...LMAO...its a joke..never again. I plan to live my life free...continue the new habits, my flute, mindfulness practice, and gym...I set up a new "strategic plan" for my life that include health and financial wellness. Also, in terms of sex, my goal is to only have sex based on love, and that excludes P, M, one night stands, etc...just based on love and a manifestation of that love...I will O, only on those circumstances...and that is my plan my brother...
Second time today that Im posting here something xD Anyway had a talk with my parents a few hours ago, they said I can only marry a girl who`s from our ancestry (means christian, russia or german), no other girl from other nation. But where I live there are most muslim people, so now I am asking myself: Should I take it easylier to get a gf because the chance to find the perfect girl where I live is...well not so much? Don`t understand me wrong or the opinion from my parents, but well idk what to do right now Well Im going to sleep because tomorrow geography exam -_- See y`all
