81 days PM so far!

I can't believe the time has gone so quickly.

The first month was definitely the hardest then you become a new person who doesn't engage in the old PM ways.

I feel healthier, happier and more fulfilled generally. My skin looks good. I feel good. I've got 5 women at the moment on the juggle all interested in sexual activity etc. Once you get your head out your coc* you start actually living life and, like others have noticed, you seem to attract more. It's metaphysical.

Any questions happy to answer them!

 

Yes and yes.

Definitely harder and better. Together with delay spray and good mental discipline you can go for ages.

 

Could almost have succumbed (no pun intended) then I checked and this stopped me. I saw this badge of honour.

I also had the realisation that I knew what was driving me to want to (something troubling happened today). My mind was trying to make my body feel 'punished', I wouldn't allow it. I'm trying to be in control of my body, not the other way round. My soul is the rider here, my body is the horse.

 

Hi Giovanni

There's a lot to break down there, so I'll try:-

1. I hope to not M again. This is not in sync with a healthy functional person or society. I O through physical relationships with women thankfully.

2. My erections weren't bad before. My penis seemed much more sensitive and suffered from deathgrip. When one of my girls now 'gets to grips' with me I calmly explain that deathgrip is not a healthy way to handle me and I prefer a soft erotic touch. Girls normally prefer that anyway as it tends to be what they like, i.e. soft romantic and gentle. These kinds of hand encounters with women are easier on the penis than those you may be accustomed to. You begin to genuinely relax and enjoy the intimacy rather than feeling like a lustful machine who needs to just get off. Also pleasuring the girl intermittently is a big secret of my technique.

3. The only thing I've found is that, being that I am strict about no M with me, even when I'm with a girl who wants to and goes for the deathgrip, after I O it can be up to an hour or two before I'll get a new erection, won't look at P or anything to short circuit like I would have done in the past. However I also with the right love and feelings from the girl and some fantasies in my brain, I could (and have) gone again within 15 mins. A lot of it depends on the comfort level between you and the girl.

Hope this is insightful.

What are your experiences? Where are you up to in your PMO journey?

 

***Potential Mild Spoiler, don't read if ultra sensitive ***

At 90 days or so now, I haven't noticed so much difference between 30 and 90 days, really. I think it's the growing feeling of weight behind one which makes one feel like it's not just a passing fad but something that's longer term.

For me it got somewhat easier after 30 or 40 days in the sense that I was no longer so reactive. I'd bought myself some time and thought to respond in the right way. For me, before that time, it was just constant fight while the brain detoxes I suppose and begins to unwire itself from the harmful short circuits.

Last night I woke up somewhat at about 3am was semi conscious but so incredibly horny I lay there and made a semi-conscious decision to make love to my bed sheets lol. I don't know if this counts as me losing the M from my badge? I did O. But no hands at all. It felt like I was in a woman.

Also, a few moments ago I came across some old photos / videos of my estranged wife that had been backed up somewhere. She was being very graphic to herself in it. She's been very hostile but this was a previous time where she was happy. I guess it also made me smile since it feels like I have something on her. I did watch the short clip of her with herself that I stumbled upon that she had (very rarely!) sent to me, though left it entirely at the one watch 'just to check what it was'. :-/

What do my fellow fapstronaughts think? Do I need to update my status in any way?

**We can never trust in ourselves until the day we die.**