6 months. Report

Hi everyone,

180 days, checking in. (NO PMO, hardmode)

Read 1 Month Report here
Read 2 Months. Report here
Read 3 Months. Report here



I continue to write a progress report as I get past certain milestones.

Things have been a bit of a roller-coaster in the last 90 days of my streak. Some ups and some downs.

Stronger emotions that I have felt during this time:

- Anger
- Anxiety and elevated stress
-Sadness
-Moments of Pure Happiness

Physical Withdrawal that surfaced within those 30 days(not for the entire time, just a list for certain days):

-Fatigue
-Head pressure

-Disturbed sleep





6 Months. Report


What has helped me fend off urges/withdrawals in no particular order:

(I will bold the new ones I added during this period)

- Daily sun/day light exposure 10 mins right after breakfast.
- Wim Hof Breathing as I wake up for 3 rounds
- Meditation
- Stoicism
- Exercise
-Tweaking my diet
-Daily Journaling
- Gray scaling my phone
- Downtime on my phone (app limits and such)
- Not looking at screens at least 30 mins before bed
-Not looking at my phone for the first hour after I wake up
-I do Wim Hof with a screenless mp3 player, cost me $20. Well worth it.
- Social media detox
-Exposure out of comfort zone
-Challenging negative mindsets
-Working on being present in whatever activity I am doing, not engaging in rumination.



As I mentioned above, these last 90 days of the journey have been quite a roller-coaster. There was a period of two weeks where I felt that I was going backwards, in terms of “withdrawals” and it was disheartening. After deeper analysis and understanding, I realized that I was not allowing myself proper rest. When I say rest, I do not mean sleep. Keep in mind that the process of changing your brain and combatting addiction/urges will be depleting in energy and heightened stress levels will be prominent. Add undertaking new habits to the mix, you have a recipe for a quick usage of your energy reserves, especially early on in your journey. In my case, I kept going for around 2 months without taking proper intermitted rest. What I mean by this is, allocating one day a week where I’m just relaxing. Reading, meditating and giving my brain a break. For those of you going through PAWS, I would suggest making sure that you have a rest factor in your schedule and again I do not mean sleep. Assess where you are, you may need more days in the beginning, especially for those of you who are going through more severe withdrawals. Build a solid foundation and help your CNS(central nervous system) become resilient.



The good, I’ve been making moves in my life and exposing myself to things that I use to run away from. Examples of this, exploring new career opportunities and interviewing for higher positions. Before, I would just give an excuse not to do so. Also, I started going to places where I would make excuses and avoid in the past.


I started getting to know this girl that I work with, although I’m likely going to stop it(not my type at all, and quite a few red flags), but just going through the initial experience of getting to know someone again and see if they are dating material or not, has been absent from my life for a long while. Once I hit my mid 20’s, I started to avoid dating/relationships, one reason was that I became satisfied with porn, but porn also made and kept me insecure. I had plenty of opportunities, girls who were openly flirting with me, but I did not act upon it. It’s scary when I think about it now, I was choosing a virtual comfort, that only made me more insecure and ashamed, over a potential real life partner/interaction.



I’ve noticed my workouts and overall energy levels are getting closer and closer to what they use to be.


Life is filled with ups and downs, the important thing to remember is not to avoid the hardships, lest they build up and inhibit our life. Addiction thrives in avoidance. Feeling sad, feeling angry and feeling anxious is okay. Do not resist these emotions, observe them and get to the root cause. This takes a lot of effort, but in my opinion it’s worth it. The more you practice this, the quicker you will become at addressing them as they arise, as opposed to just bottling them up and waiting for them to explode(ticking time bomb, really).


Finally, friends, I just want to wish you all a Happy New Year! All the best, let’s crush 2023 and stomp this stain out of our life.


Let us become the people we were meant to be!

I will post another report at the 270 day marker.


Re-reminder, as in each report so far.

I do want to highlight this, keep in mind everyone’s journey is unique. Not everyone will face the same challenges/withdrawals along the way. Duration will vary, it all depends on how long you've consumed, what you watched, how early you started and what emotions and situations you've ran away/numbed yourself from using PMO (whether knowingly or unknowingly). Also, my previous streak prior to a few months of auto pilot mode, was over 400 days free of porn and nearly 400 days free of MO.

 

Thank you for sharing brother, I would say it likely depends on the person. With the measures I've taken on my phone, I do not fear relapse using it. Although, it was rare that I would use it for the purposes of porn, up until maybe the last year of PMO usage. Perhaps replacing your smartphone for a dummy phone, there is quite the movement behind that too, I'm considering doing this. More so just to disconnect from screens, then for PMO purposes.

 

Thank you, my friend! Your support has meant a lot to me. Keep paving the path for us.

 

@Squire and @Be Water Thank you both for the kind words brother!

@Kartik_2022 Thank you brother! To answer your questions, Age: 31, my member looks incredibly healthy(fuller and bigger, likely because I'm not nutting/engaging in MO) , i've attracted women, even when talking to them remotely from work. I receive random compliments from them. I was never afraid to have conversation with women, even before getting addicted to PMO. My issue was more backing out before things would get to a relationship status. At the worse part of my addiction, when a girl I would talk with often, started to flirt more intensely or clearly be attracted to me, I would pull away and disappear as PMO was my comfort. Nor would I explain anything to her, I would just ghost. Now, if I pull away, I make it clear why and force myself to have the conversation(whether over the phone or in person versus a text or ghosting) and I make that decision based off of me not being attracted to her/their personality. I don't settle and I value my time.

 

These are wise words indeed, I haven't read his book but definitely on the list. He's a very impressive person. We need that disconnect, it's crucial to growth.