5th day: struggling with urges

Hey all, I have just joined this forum. I am glad I can talk openly about my porn and masturbation addiction here among people facing a similar problem. I have been watching porn since the age of 14 (28 right now). I was watching porn and masturbating once everyday. I had never thought something like a porn addiction exists (I am already addicted to smoking cigarettes), until 2 months ago when I was with a girl, and couldn't get an orgasm, no matter what. Initially I thought I have the stamina of a stallion. However, I researched and read more into porn addiction. I had some pretty stark realizations. It took time for me to accept that I was addicted to porn. PMO has completely desensitized me. I realized nothing other than porn would get me an erection. I was also facing PIED, to which I forced myself into PMO just to get that dopamine high. Also, I am facing with delayed orgasm. I have social anxiety, low self esteem, and difficulty concentrating on academics (I am a grad student), and recently learned that PMO addiction is the primary reason. I finally accepted that I am pretty miserable.

I finally have started the NoFap, and I am currently on day 5 (pretty early). I have been trying really hard to control my urges and finding distractions. Every time I have an urge, which are pretty strong, I try to think how miserable I'd feel after PMO which I used to ignore. I hope I complete the 90 day journey and transform into a better self.

 

Thank you all for your kind words and support
Day 11 and strong! I have realized that the urges went down now and I have more confidence since I am able to control them. I used to use PMO as a way to get over my emotional triggers instead of facing them. Since I've stopped PMO, i am facing those emotional triggers, and at times, letting it all out. It actually feels a lot better than PMO!