49 months FLATLINE - What will happen this month?

Hey guys.

I don't have that much to tell you, except that I'm still in the flatline. Flatline is PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms). You can check my previous posts for more information.

I still have anhedonia, brain fog, low energy, no libido and social anxiety.

I still don't have the benefits that people are talking about, but I have a feeling that I will get them this year.

My PAWS reductions so far at month 4, 6, 18, 32, 40, 43, 46, 48 (2 at month 48) and 49.

The last PAWS reduction was 10 days ago. I am now at month 50.

PAWS reductions means that the symptoms have become weaker but they have still not gone away completely.

A wet dream still has negative effects on me. My symptoms then get worse. I need about 3 days to recover from a wet dream. Then I'm back to my "standard" flatline level. I have an average of one wet dream per week. It is strange. I don't have libido at all, so why do I have wet dreams?

The time span of PAWS reductions have gotten shorter and that gives me hope that I will have another PAWS reduction this month. I had 5 PAWS reductions last year. How many will I have this year? I've already had one PAWS reduction this year..

I hope it will continue like this until the symptoms completely disappear.

I don't know what else to say. The last 4 years were not normal. Is this my last year in the flatline? Will I finally be free? Will I finally be light? How much longer do I have to endure? How much longer...? I'm exhausted, tired and fed up with the flatline. I'm fed up with my symptoms. I don't know how much longer I can hold out.

Your friend, Experiment1996

 

I don't know what to say. I just want it to be over at last. I've suffered for so long.

I hope you can congratulate me soon

 

Lately, mostly with a dream, but I've also had some without a dream. The ones without dreams also make my symptoms worse but not like the ones with dreams. It also depends on how "hot" the wet dream is. The "hotter" the wet dream, the worse the symptoms.

I don't understand how this can happen as I have no libido.

The only explanation is that I ejaculated almost every day during my PMO-time and therefore got used to ejaculation. Hence the wet dreams during abstinence.

I then have less patience, am worse at work, am sad, etc. It has similarities with a relapse.

Some say the wet dreams are bad for your healing, others say it supports healing.

 

5 MO (masturbation, orgasm)-relapses within 3 weeks between month 43 and 44.

These 5 MO relapses made my symptoms worse. It took me about 3 months to get back to the same state I was in before the 5 MO Relapses and then further improvements (PAWS-reductions) followed. Those 5 MO relapses either set me back for 3 months or they just made my symptoms worse for 3 months, but didn't set me back. 1 MO-Relapse made my symptoms worse for 2 weeks in my case. I don't know what effects a PMO (porn,masturbation,orgasm)- relapse has. Certainly more than 2 weeks. Maybe 4-6 weeks.

Relapses are just a waste of time. It is not worth it. You get nothing out of it.

 

It's flatline. PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms) can last up to 5 years.

 

Some say that wet dreams are a sign of healing and some say that it is bad for healing.

I don't know what is true. But I do know that it has bad effects on me and I wish I didn't have any.

I have tried almost everything and still I have wet dreams. It's really annoying. It makes me more impatient, worse at work, more sad, angry, etc. It has similarities to a relapse.

I don't have a libido and that's why I don't fantasize. That's what's weird. I have no libido and still have wet dreams.

Despite these wet dreams, I had PAWS reductions, so my symptoms became weaker.