42 months FLATLINE - Is there any hope ?

Hi guys.

In summary:

Age 26

PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm) from age 13 - 22. I quickly escalated and watched categories / fetishes that would really disgust me in real life. Nothing illegal but very disgusting stuff.

Month 43 currently and I am still in the flatline / in PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms).

Other name for PAWS is "protracted withdrawal".

PAWS lasts between 1 - 4 years.

I had PAWS reductions at month 4, 6, 18, 32 and 40. This means that the symptoms became weaker.

Month 1 - 18 -> TERROR

Month 18 - 32 -> TERRIBLE

Month 32 - 40 -> PAINFUL

Month 40 - now -> UNPLEASANT

Current symptoms: Social anxiety, brain fog, anhedonia, fatigue, low energy, low motivation, low libido, no morning wood, weak bladder and urine stream.

No relapse, no sex, no masturbation, no porn, no conscious ejaculation, no alcohol, no drugs, no medication, nothing.

TRE (trauma release exercise) has reduced my anxiety. I can definitely say that. But the other symptoms have not been reduced by TRE. I recommend everyone to do TRE.

I am still firmly convinced that I have PAWS. It cannot be anything other than PAWS. When I stopped PMO, I got PAWS and the symptoms still haven't gone away.

I am still not the person I was during PMO times and I am not the person I was before PMO times. I still don't have my personality back. I still find it strange to see myself in a photo. I still don't recognize myself 100%. I think I still have DR (derealization). It seems as if the "glass pane" is getting thinner and thinner.

I still dream about masturbation, porn and I also have real sex dreams. How is this possible after 3.5 years of abstinence ? My symptoms get worse when I have a wet dream. It takes me about 60 hours to recover from a wet dream. Then I'm back to my standard flatline level.

When will I finally be cured ? At the end of December 2023, I will have completed 48 months (4 years). Is it possible that PAWS of PMO lasts longer than 4 years ? This is really sick.

Check out these short 4 minute videos. It's so easily explained.

DOPAMINE

DOPAMINE 2

This success story of 48 months motivates me to continue. This guy used "Gabapentin" for 6 months and had PAWS for 48 months -> 48 months PAWS - Gabapentin

I have visited the following sites in the last 3.5 years:

FORUM.NOFAP.COM

FORUM.REBOOTNATION.ORG

YOURBRAINONPORN.COM

BENZOBUDDIES.ORG

SURVIVINGANTIDEPRESSANTS.ORG

UNCOMMONFORUM.COM - This page has been deleted.

Most of the people who have been cured and published a success story have written that only time and abstinence led to healing. Even if they have maintained a healthy lifestyle.

I always tell you the same thing. Only time and abstinence leads to healing. You cannot shorten the duration of the flatline. A healthy lifestyle can reduce symptoms by 5-10% but not shorten the duration of the flatline. Because I tried everything: sports, swimming, walking, spending time in nature, socializing, reading, working, TRE, etc. This can only make the symptoms weaker by 5-10% but this cannot shorten the duration of the flatline. People just don't want to accept that.

In the comments I always find people who nevertheless write the following: "You have to do yoga. You have to meditate. You have to do this and that." You have no idea! This is the truth. And the people who write this can't even do 90 days hardmode.

I wake up in the morning and I am tired. It doesn't matter how many hours I have slept. I am never energetic when I get up in the morning. When I get up I feel no drive to "conquer" the day. No energy to really push me to start the day. I don't yet feel that energy that pushes me to get up immediately, shower, shave, go out and be productive. I still have no emotions. If I feel anything, it's either anxiety, anger, or sadness. Sometimes hope. But mostly I'm without emotion

I don't feel like writing anymore. I keep repeating myself I wrote all this in my previous posts.

I will publish a post every month until month 48. So my next post will be on 01 August 2023.

For the people who write to me privately and ask 100 questions. I am ready to answer these questions by phone call and not via chat. It's easier for me that way.

See you soon.

 

Hey man.

Thanks for your motivating words. Very interesting what you wrote. I really hope that I will be cured by month 48.

I hope you will never relapse again.

 

The question is for how long I can stay so strong

 

Thank you man. I hope that I am very close. It's hard to say.

Somehow, the last few months have been particularly difficult. I seem to be losing patience. I think it's because month 48 is constantly in my mind. If nothing happens by month 48, I'll be pretty disappointed and then I guess I'll have to endure another whole 12 months. That would completely destroy me mentally.