41 Days - Super Powers are the Real Deal

Good Morning All!

I have been meaning to write this since day 30 but haven't made the time. Almost to 45-days but I know if I don't write this now, it will be day 100. haha.

History

I've been struggling with PMO since 14 years old. I'll never forget how I first stumbled on P. I was on AOL search looking for "codes" for Diddy Kong Racing when I made a typo that would forever change my life. It wasn't long after that incident that I started the trifecta.

I have always been a believer in the Bible and the Lord Jesus. I knew he died for what I was doing but I couldn't stop. I didn't hate it enough and in turn I became a habitual relapser. I could go for weeks and then slip and binge.

The longest time I have ever gone was 6-months when I was in my first relationship. However, once I slipped, the rest was history. I couldn't stop again.

Currently

That leads us to this latest season. I had watched that TED talk on PMO and they mentioned NoFap. I had to come check it out. I started reading all the success stories and realized I had been attacking the issue the wrong way. My issue was that I just wanted it to go away. I didn't want to change my daily routine or mix things up to avoid triggers. This is why I was constantly relapsing.

I wish I could say right when I started on NoFap I developed super discipline but I did not. I was still super lazy. My goal was to start when I turned 30 but I only made it a week in. Terrible. lol.

2017 came and I was 100% committed. I knew I would have to change a lot of things in my life to come out on top. It hasn't been easy but it has been super rewarding. Below are the things that I have done that have helped me overcome and avoid temptation.

• No phone in room-I have Covenant Eyes on my laptop but CE does not monitor apps on my phone. I can easily access P on my phone. By having my phone out of my room, especially at night, I avoid slipping.
• Downtime-We all need downtime but what we do during that downtime is vital. If you are aimless searching the net, you are asking for trouble. Read a book, play guitar, take a nap with no tv, phone, laptop, etc. Doing these things have helped my brain with new firings and not constantly searching for that high
• HALT-Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired? Eat, Talk it Out, Hit up a friend, Nap/Sleep. PMO will not make these things better. It only masks them and then makes them worse when you come down.
• Work Out-I am 6'3 and 125 lbs. I am never going to look like the Rock. It is not in my genes. However, I've started to work out at night. About the same time I would PMO. My body is quickly becoming use to these chemicals firing off instead of the dopamine.
• Accepting Rejection and Temptation-A huge thing for me has been accepting that both rejection and temptation will come. How I react and respond will help me to overcome PMO. I have to remember that if a girl is not in to me, PMO will not help that, it only masks the hurt. I have to eat it like a man and move on. Same with temptation. It won't go away. Those annoying ass click bait ads will always call your name. WE DON'T HAVE TO CLICK!

I am really excited to continue to develop new strategies and to continue to overcome PMO and be the man I am called to be. It will be a long journey but it will be worth it. In closing, I have a super power story below. Hope to have more of these.

Super Powers

As I mentioned in my work-out bullet, I am 6'3 and 125 lbs. I have never had much, "meat on my bones," as people say. It has always been one of the reasons I have struggled with PMO and I think it created vicious cycle because I saw the P-stars and they were always super buff. I created this idea in my head that that is all women wanted Thus I always automatically assumed, chicks didn't want me. This idea was further perpetrated by a chick I was talking to and she was always mentioning my physical appearance. Fortunately, things didn't work out with her so I didn't have to put up with never living up to her potential. Since starting NoFap, I have gained more confidence in my physical appearance the God has created me.

On my 30th day of no PMO, my buddy and I went to a concert. As the show was going on, some chicks kept looking our direction. I was like, "What the hell are they staring at?" That's when one of them was like, "Are you gay?" Hahaha "What?! No. Wait, is that a good thing or a bad thing. I mean I am dressed super fly." She then turned to her friend and was like, "I told you he wasn't gay...Will you dance with her?" I replied, "Absolutely!" We then danced the entire show. No mention of my weight and height. No mention of me being awkward. We got down and had a great time. The whole time I was thinking to myself, "Is this really happening?! This girl wanted to dance WITH ME! I didn't ask her...she approached ME!" haha. Anyway, her group wanted to bounce before the set was over but my friend and I came to see that guy so we bid each other farewell.

IF that had been the night, I would have been stoked but it got even better. After the show ended, my buddy and I went to hit up a bar. When we walked up, the line was around the corner of the building but since my buddy knows the manager and the bouncers, we walked right in. I felt super baller. That combined with my no-PMO confidence and I must have looked like Brad Pitt.

We arrived at the bar and my friend ran to the bathroom, leaving me alone. A chick walked up to the bar and I looked at her and simply said, "hello." She gave me a toast and walked back to her friends. My friend eventually came back and we noticed the chick and her friends progressively dancing closer. My friend, who is in a relationship, pushed me into their circle and I began to dance with them. Mind you, had I been PMO-ing, I would not have had the confidence to dance with these girls. It wasn't long before the chick I said hello to began to dance alone with me. We danced the night away and even made out on the dance floor. lol. Super impolite now that I think about it but I was feeling super boss. Again, she never mentioned my lack of build.

I truly believe that neither of these moments would have happened if I wasn't on NoFap. You develop a confidence that chicks can sense because you hold yourself higher and can engage with them. Even a simple, "hello," exudes confidence when you are free of PMO.

Thanks for reading!

Tl: DR: Don't PMO, stay busy, chicks can sense confidence.

 

Thanks, guys! Day 46 is here and things are going well!

 

Dude, your post could not be better timed. Last night was my first challenging day. I was super tempted and got super close to slipping and Oing. Woke up today feeling much better but I know it is always waiting in the background to try and knock me out.

 

It is the ultimate worst. I imagine people tell you to, "eat more," all the time. I get that so much I've become numb to it.

P further perpetrates the idea that chicks only want super buff dudes. What I have found in my time of no-pmo is that chicks are attracted to confidence. It's as easy as just saying, "hey." If they sense your confidence, they will talk to you and be interested. After that though, you are on your own to hold their attention as you converse. lol. However, even being away from PMO can you help you with that too. Remember, make it all about them. "What do you do for work?" "How long have you done that?" "Did you go to school for that?" So simple, yet so hard. haha

 

^Thanks dude! It feels great! I look forward to writing my 90 day post! More than half way there.

 

Hahaha! That is an understatement. I have watched YouTube videos on that game and I still don't think I could beat it today. Shit is incredibly difficult. lol

 

I must confess that I recently fell into temptation and viewed some P. I quickly came to my senses before MOing. It was a very stark reminder that this shit doesn't go away just because you have been clean for 56 days. It will constantly be waiting for you to let your guard down.

Despite the dumb slip, I did go out to a bar again and talk to a gorgeous women. Unfortunately, she did not give me the time of day but I did it! I talked to her and asked her to dance. She was throwing shade to all dudes so I didn't feel awful. lol

I probably start a journal thread so I don't keep bumping this one up!