Some short thoughts: + I don't carry a lot of shame in me anymore. + Urges are moderate. If they emerge I realize it very soon and am strong and routined enough to not act on them but shut off whatever let them arise. + I sometimes get glimpses of the euphoric and wonderful feeling I often experienced as a young boy. + My mind doesn't feel worn out often. Even if my body is sore af my mind can work properly (probably aswell because of good food, vitamins, lots of water). - I like to isolate myself. I don't want / need to be around a lot of people. I am probably creating a sense of a lone wolf around me which is not my goal.