How do I get over the depression I have over this. I relapsed last month to hard pills for 2 weeks straight after 6 months clean and I'm now 9 months pmo free and am inching closer to pmo relapse. I just relapsed again to pills tonight, I can't escape the thought of being rejected over this. I'm attractive and talented and get interest from girls but I'm too afraid to take it further with them over my fears about size. It is only something I've become aware of during my reboot after hearing girls talk about wanting it to be big. I never watched porn with dicks in it so that is not where my complex is coming from. I cry all the time and even missed work over it a few weeks ago. I think I lost the girl I've been talking to over my fears and haven't gone to the gym in almost 2 months. I'm afraid of living the rest of my life like this and alone. It has literally ruined my life becoming aware that I was inadequate and below average. It haunts my mind and I haven't been happy since I've become aware of this. What do I do?