Thank you : ) You are doing great too! Your streak is something I look up to, I will fight hard too and get into the hundreds.
Day 26 completed. An improvement is that I had a dream where I had sex but the whole time I was trying to make sure that I wasn't doing any PMO along with it. this was unlike the earlier dream in which I gave in to my urges and relapsed. Looks like my subconscious has finally teamed up with my conscious fight against PMO. I feel stronger now. Nevertheless, I'll be cautious and brace up for the upcoming challenges. Also, my brain doesn't feel as foggy, even when I'm on period -- that's a massive difference!
Day 29 completed. I haven't been very productive this month and its haunting me. My lows make me numb, make me freeze and break down. During the past month I tried to cope by talking to my friends or doing other healthy activities and stayed clean. But I lost more than 5 hrs everyday in effort to escape my lows. I have barely begun studying what I planned to study this month and suddenly I realized 17 days are gone! I had no idea when or how this happened. yesterday I figured out with the help of a friend that most of it was gone in coping with my depression. But I can't afford to lose any more time because my exam is nearing. So I decided to take this head-on, sit in my lows and help myself calm down on my own. I began learning how to meditate -- I know I won't be able to sit longer than an hour everyday, so some time saved and some healing done. And now I should cram all the study planned for the past 17 days and the coming 14 days, all into the coming 2 weeks. Seems impossible to me. I feel nervous. But I will fight. And I know how chaotic and low my mind can get, but in no case will I give in to PMO.
All the numbness, lows and depression you have, I'm pretty sure they are withdrawals symptoms from PMO! This will happen for a while until you reach a certain stage where you will feel more freedom from temptations. I know your exam is really important and you're anxious about it and this is another battle that you have, just finding the energy to study while you're on a low from withdrawals! You're exam is really important but you're number 1 battle has to be staying free from PMO, this is our only path to physical, mental and spiritual freedom. Stay strong, I''ll pray for you . Stay blessed