Checking in...been failing badly recently and struggling in general but I am determined to keep going
I've revisited your original post to provide points of clarity regarding my commentary. My critique by being rather sparse with words, could easily be interpreted as arrogant. Since tone is hard to read in a medium such as this, I did not mean to be dismissive of your advice. I just think an absolutist position easily lends itself to the pitfalls of the either-or fallacy. Other users have posted about approaches more in the middle that seem to work for them, and seem to be more sustainable. Thinking about / appreciating the female form and copulation are not inherently problematic. Both of those things are natural and healthy. The provided elaboration, from your response to mine (which I've omitted since I mostly agree with it), was helpful to clearing up any confusion my interpretation of your words caused. Objectification and sexualization of women is something we need to work on not just as individuals, but as a society. Retraining the perverse (oft culturally conditioned) mind to something more biologically natural is the goal, and that seems to be the main premise of your aforementioned response. "They say you are what you eat so I strive to eat healthy" Do you run barefoot often? Could you tell me a bit about your experience regarding? What type of surface are you running on? I've sometimes thought of doing this. Great job!, going further than before. Your post reminded me of two songs, here they are: and "Can I please see a show of hands so I know that I'm not insane"... my hand flew up at light speed to your inquiry. As far as advice I have little profound to offer. This happens to me a lot on public transportation, and I'm thinking I should have something to read when I go on hours long excursions. If I'm ill prepared I might even resort to staring at my phone screen (which is kinda unnatural to me) instead of whatever has me lusting. Perhaps a cellphone would prove useful in your social settings where this is occurring. You could have a picture or mantra saved there to go to to remind you of your true desires. You could try closing your eyes and visualizing a word to reinforce where you want to go. Maybe pinch yourself or create a ritual that will ground you in the here and now and not some fantastical world. I think user: optimistic7's posts (last Friday, and this morning) about willpower offer some suggestions that might prove useful. I've felt really good lately in a way that is unfamiliar to me. I think it stems from focusing on my goals, and not sacrificing (or delaying) mine to help others I love/d achieve theirs. I've always searched for explanations to explain behaviors I do not understand (my own included), certainly at times to a fault. I've seen enough Unsolved Mysteries and science documentaries to know full well this is universally unachievable. I have not ventured beyond myself as of late, for help with my sometimes crippling depression. When it's not at the forefront of my mind, I tend to let my guard down like "I got this!" while the seeming apparition lingers waiting for a trigger. In the United States, getting quality mental health assistance can be burdensome to the point of discouraging. I've always felt a bit oversensitive, but also I've always felt like society is a bit apathetic barring this comparative basis perhaps I'm just sensitive. Not to imply I consider myself high IQ, really most times I think I'm a dummy (however true or untrue this assessment is). I've always used the euphemism "The question of existence" to refer to suicide or my recurring thoughts of death or the biological impulse to survive. Distractions indeed plague me. I have over 100 tabs open on my laptop swearing I'll address everyone before preemptively closing even if a lot of them hold no meaning. My most seductive distraction these days is going on some random cam site in search of something cute itching for undressing. Often I wonder if I should reset my counter, although technically I haven't been partaking in P&M perhaps encouraging states of undress and self-satisfaction in others is cheating. Have you read Charles Duhigg's The Power of Habit? A lot of this post in particular reminds me of that book.
Almost to Day 32. Now that I reached Day 30, it's getting extremely hard to find a reason why I shouldn't just reset. Technically, even if I reset only once a month, I'm still fixing my brain, just at a slower pace. Or at least, that's the excuse my brain is giving me now. I am still letting myself fantasize, assuming that it will just die off in a few days, assuming I don't have any more triggers. (Which is usually what happens historically) Will keep a close eye on it though. It's almost like I'm allowing myself to fantasize, so that I am drip feeding my brain dopamine hits. Too much, and I reset. Not enough, and... I don't actually know. Probably nothing bad will happen if I don't fantasize at all. I guess I am just letting a bit of steam out of the boiler every now and then, waiting for that moment when the urges subside again. Or maybe that's just another excuse my brain is giving me. Hopefully in the next few days I go back to where I was 3 days ago, where I was pretty much serene and had no urges. Damn triggers. Life continues to suck... which I guess means the streak will continue.
Thanks for the advice! It's really difficult to ignore in certain settings but I'm going to keep practicing mindfulness and NoFap and hope that it subsides in the future. Ir really does feel like I'm going insane though when I'm around people and it seems like it's only myself who is being affected Day 7 checking in.
Several years back, when I had a long streak going, I used to wonder if everything "still worked". And testing out if it did was the end of a good streak. I learned from this, and at one point I had a 90 day streak with no stimulation whatsoever. My youngest son was just born and my wife was going through a rough few months. When we finally got back to sleeping in the same bed, the sex was just amazing. So, speaking from experience... the longer you can stay in "monk mode", without fantasies or any other stimulation, the more glad of it you will be when you finally get to use all that stored up sexual energy. I'm not saying that it's easy to do... just that it is a worthwhile pursuit. So don't let your brain trick you into thinking otherwise! And best of luck with your next goal, whatever that may be
I agree with this, your brain can trick you anytime, no matter which day it is! It has all the legitimate and ridiculous reasons in the world. It makes you to be in comfort zone and slowly controls you without you even know when you relapsed and only regret after that. Then you think, oh I was so committed, how the hell this happened ? above 30 days is something you don't want to lose. I also need to be very strong now, specially 30-40 days are very hard. Then 48 to 60 days extremely hard. Actually this whole path is hard.
Hi guys. Checking in. 119 days. My advice to whoever is struggling: get some serious AP and be an AP for someone. Stay strong brothers
Thank God, day 344!!! That means in about 3 weeks i m gonna reach the "one year" goal. Many days passed. That make it easier day by day. Easier to avoid M and O, not P although. Porn is in every corner. Trying to play with your mind, to mess with you, to crap all your progress. Always aware for triggers.
Officially Day 32 now. Really starting to struggle, the fantasies are getting out of control. Definitely was my brain tricking me by saying the fantasies were fine. Going to concentrate on work as much as possible, and hold on.
Day 8 checking in. I'm on vacation and had a few drinks last night, so the urges are strong. Decided to wake up, come on here for motivation and then meditate instead of the alternative!
Just stop fantasizing, as soon as you start to fantasize come to this forum, read anti PMO material, think about your past and think what you want to be. Also think that pixels are not real neither the fantasies going to be real . Be strong man! You are just about to free yourself.
Starting to feel a bit better, like I'm not so close to resetting as I was this morning. Of course, my brain immediately tells me "it's ok to fantasize now". There definitely seems to be a relationship between working/about to work and fantasizing... as soon as I'm done with work for the day, I feel a lot more relaxed and less likely to reset. I guess that's kind of obvious, but still annoying. Unfortunately I need money to live, so I can't remove that particular problem.
That's a very impressive new years resolution @Alex_Al, congrats! Mine usually don't last anything like that length of time, even if it's something simple like taking a walk every day.
Actually if i remember correctly 3 of January! But my target isn't one year goal. I ll try to reach 500 days. (About 17 May). So is early for me to celebrate. Hope new year is a better year for everyone who struggles
