33 y/o Guy Looking for my Lost Boners

@NuevaAmerican welcome to nofap. Congratulations on getting a date in a long time! After hanging on this website for two years I learned something and you will probably hear this in other addictions forums too! The recommendation is to focus on next 24 hours! Not just setting that goal but to visualize the schedule and actions you will take to prevent PMOing will help you do something effective for next 24 hours. Once you have a few 24 hours under your belt you can think about longer term. This recommendation is especially useful when you are starting fresh or after an unfortunate relapse etc.
I wish you good luck!

 

Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?

 

Check out In Case You Didn't Know for strategies and tips which may help you along your journey. There are many there so there are at least a few that can help you.

 

I'm really sorry to hear about this, my Jahman. We've all been through the "dark tunnel of procrastination" in what was supposed to be the most productive operating period of our lives, in particular the energy we used to emanate in our early 20s, which correlated with our "peaks" or the "prime" in our sexual developments. When I first came to NoFap, I wanted to see if what I went through whether I was alone or not, whether there were people out there who cared.

When I first joined NoFap, to share my experience with others in how to overcome their personal battles with the PMO disease, I started to feel more and more depressed to find that this problem was more prevalent than I thought, than I could possibly conceived imaginable. I always thought that there was something wrong with me, for entering puberty at the age of 12 with strong hormones, I thought that God wanted to punish me and made me feel guilty for even being alive (much less having sexual desires, feelings and thoughts that were out of control)... So not being able to find a natural channel nor being able to control the way I was created (with a natural propensity to find a mate and reproduce on behalf of the ungrateful human race)... brought me into the situation, where like you and many others, I wake up from a slumber and a darkness somewhat halfway through my life and I start ask myself, "What have I done with my life?" I threw away 20 years of my post-pubescent life in the rubbish (or in American lingo trash). I was so depressed from the realisation, it didn't help to find others, so many others like me, only to find that they were to ashamed to open up in real life, which was a part of the problem and the entrapment of PMO. I resigned my account with NoFap. I just decided that I was too busy to read others' similar experiences and I was too busy to even be depressed because I really was so depressed to even be alive and so guilty for wasting the best part of my life that I did not even want to think about what I did with my life.

I decided to move on by keeping myself as busy as possible and going out into the real world and travelling, exploring society and cultures, and trying to make new friends while in the process of finding a worthwhile (REAL and NOT ARTIFICIAL) mate. But the more I looked around me, the more I cannot help but believe that this depressing problem of the individual of singlehood, loneliness, PMO addiction and disassociation (from society) all-rolled-into-one, is so prevalent that I find there is something fundamentally wrong with the values of egocentric society itself which does not find anything "weird" or "worrying" about the prevalence of young single people everywhere, of young men and young women (in their 20s particularly) who so addicted to social media, on-demand entertainment and isolating themselves in their bedrooms...

It's like so everywhere that no body in the mainstream society cares about a world in which young people everywhere are choosing lives of self-enforced celibacy all throughout their 20s up to their 30s+ something, not to mention that at the same time this is happening in a world where not only the rate of re-population is declining, where children are being born into dysfunctional or one-parent families, where people grow up without any full siblings, where technology has become a replacement for human interactions... I cannot find logical words to express the epidemic... It's as if the devil has, not long ago, decided to turn into some kind of a vampire and began biting everybody born in the 21st century.

So many of us here, so many of us out there, has wasted their youth to mindless entertainment and artificial sexuality... Society (or those who should have been responsible in society, such as our parents, our leaders, our seniors, etc.) makes no apologies for turning a blind eye to us. I also blame the industry of entertainment which keeps a lot of real women above our reach and beyond our league, and occupies them almost indefinitely, while neglecting the men and tossing us aside to be pretty much consumers and victims of the entire vampire empire epidemic.

 

Hey @NuevaAmerican ,

I'm just a normal ordinary member. No moderator super powers and no special insite. I share my ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) of what works for me.

Just another warm welcome and a heart felt hello. This community has helped me so much.

What worked for me was "working" it. It took hard work for me to complete a hard reboot (No pmo) for 120 days, then move into a Sex Positive mode.

First, reading the literature published by NoFap itself along with reading journals.

Then, doing the work. Writing in my journal and replying to introductions and other's journals.

Finally, but not least, getting involved with the fellowship. I found it on the forums, but also in people's profiles. The forums tend to be longer posts, where the profiles tend to be more "conversational".

That is what has worked for me. I like to remind myself that this community was here waiting for me with the lights on when I arrived. Now, I have to do my best to be there when someone comes to the community.

Then, watch this video:



--> L

PS -

One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program.

I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work.

Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:

@Iron Patience - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155794/
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@ludwig525 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155658/
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@PatrickR - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139570/
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@GeeWhizz - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152127/
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@Sunshadow - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/75108/