33 days

Hello fellow fapstronauts. I have been visiting nofap forums regulary for months just to keep myself motivated with all the success stories. I started masturbating to porn since 13. Was masturbating without porn since around 10. Now i'm 20 years old. I was masturbating to porn at least once a day for 7 years. I did some major damage to my brain. Was suffering from social anxiety disorder for years. At one point i was so depressed that suicide thoughts went thru my head on daily basis. No social skill, eye contact was non existent. I could barely talk with anyone. I hated being asked anything. I had friends until i was like 16 then all went down the drain. I started avoiding them until i completely left them. Then i slowly started drinking to cope with anxiety and depression. And so it went for few years. I was done with school at age of 17 1/2. I was without a job for a whole year. That was one of the worst times of my life. I was eating unhealthy, drinking, avoiding social interaction with anyone. Even my family.

It was just me in front of my PC wasting hours and hours just to find that perfect porn movie to get that good feeling. Nothing was turning me on anymore. Started looking at those porn categories that were disgusting to me before. My hard drive was packed with porn. But i barely watched any of that because it just wasn't good enough to satisfy my needs. I got a job when i was 18 1/2. I was freaking out when i was forced to interact with people. Was still drinking at that time until about 6 months ago. I was searching for causes of social anxiety and somewhere out there i found nofap community. I spent hours reading all the success stories but was still pretty skeptical about it. But i said 'What tha hell? Why not give it a try? I have nothing to lose.' First time i made it to 7 days then masturbated without porn. I felt less anxious already but there was still porn circling in my head.

Then i made it to 12 days and went back to porn again. There were multiple tries after that. Each time i made it to about 1 week then i got back to porn again. But each time i relapsed after a few days i had one more reason to fight this addiction which is still present in me today. But not as powerful as it used to be. I finally made it over my longest streak few weeks ago which was 12 days. I was 33 days free up until today. But thankfully i didn't relapse using porn. I just masturbated. I feel huge regret about this. It just wasn't worth it. But once again i feel even stronger now than i was before i started this 33 day streak. And my social anxiety in last few weeks? Almost non existent. Depression? I start laughing at myself when i just think of that. What have i been doing with my life? I quit drinking completely 6 months ago. I was a smoker as well. Got rid of that addiction too. I was seriously overweight. Lost 30kg/66 pounds in last 6 months. What can i say. Sharp eye contact. I could barely be a follower in a group of people before but now, i'm a leader. I used to hate being center of attention due to me being very tall. I'm 6.6 feet tall. Now i feel like being the center of attention is a like a drug to me.

I just want people to notice me. Talk to me. Anything. Confidence skyrocketed. Life is colorful once again. Every morning i wake up, every person i meet is a joy. But it's just the beginning. It's still a long way to go. I'm still very very young. There is a whole life out there to be lived and not wasted on endless porn seeking. I wish you all the best of luck in conquering this addiction my fellow fapstronauts. Trust me. It's the biggest decision you'll ever make in your entire life. Time will be tough but that's the way it is. You have to rule your mind or else your mind will rule you!

 

Thanks man! It just makes me stronger!