32yo male here. Surprisingly nervous...

Hello Fapstronauts,

I'm brand new to this forum but I looked over a couple of the other newbie posts, and introductions are pretty common. So here's a bit about my story -- but not the story I usually tell people when I meet 'em!

I've been masturbating since I was 11, using good ol' Victoria's Secret catalogs for the first couple years. I had some problems early on with being really indifferent to public exposure, the most extreme example is one time just being wrapped up in a quilt fapping while my friends played in the same room. I continued to occasionally get walked in on up until I was about 24 or so; I guess that "judgement" part of the brain finally finished growing up. My friend showed me BBS's where I could download images around the age of 14, and until I got to college 3 years later (a little early), I would only download a few images very slowly and that was it. But since I got to college a year early, I had a much harder time getting laid; girls don't want jailbait and my friends would always rat me out at parties (I think I actually would've had a shot at getting laid once in a while otherwise; I was outgoing and athletic and girls really seemed to like to talk to me... until they found out my age). So I turned to porn, which was all of a sudden quickly-downloading video due to living in the dorms with T-1 internet connections. I think this in turn helped delay me losing my virginity till I was 21. Because I had a roommate I would sometimes ditch class to get some time alone, don't think it was the main reason I had bad grades in college but it certainly contributed. Ever since then I have kept more than 50% of my hard drive filled with porn. I actually do go back and watch the old favorites sometimes, but I kept a lot of stuff that I didn't even like the first time. I never escalated too far in terms of tastes from where I started, but there was definitely some change. I do spend a lot of time clicking around to find the "just right" video that turns me on.

Well, recently I have been very apathetic and unmotivated. Actually, it's gotten progressively worse over the past several years. I've always been a bit of a procrastinator (and procrasturbator, ha!) when it comes to things I don't want to do, but lately I can't even do things that I "should be" interested in unless there is some kind of crisis forcing me to act. It's a terrible way to try to live life, and I know it keeps me from realizing my potential. Also, I was noticing a steady decline in my libido, except of course when the right video started playing.

Ultimately, my girlfriend of 7 years, the love of my life, just dumped me because I kept failing to do things that I promised (such as, y'know, saving up for that engagement ring she wanted). We used to have a great sex life and she was actually OK with my watching porn, just as long as I chose sex with her over it (we tried watching a movie together once but it was too hilarious). But of course in a long relationship the fire wanes a little and instead of finding other ways to rekindle our intimacy I retreated into increased porn use.

I know I'm not the worst case scenario by a long shot (and given my struggle at even this level, I feel really bad for those folks); I think my bigger problem is internet / information addiction in general. Part of that is reading, reading, reading, about every topic, including neuroscience. So I looked at my condition and thought, "Huh, I'm not exactly depressed, but something is definitely messed up with my dopamine system." ADD runs in the family and now I'm having major symptoms. So, I'm trying to change my life to get that part of my brain working right again, to be the man I want to be. Maybe my girlfriend will come back; realistically, that's a long shot, so I'm trying not to focus on it. I know I have to get to the point where I "don't care" before it's remotely possible. Giving up porn, giving up compulsive internet use, they're part of getting my life back on track. So I came here to vent this long-ass rant and maybe be accountable to some internet strangers who get it. I've just dumped 200 gigs of videos into the recycle bin and defragged my HD. I really like the attitude here; I don't judge people for using or making porn, I just don't want it in *my* life right now.

TL;DR
Hi, I'm new! Here are my goals:
90 days no PMO, no MO, and since I'm very recently single and very bummed about it, probably no non-solo sex. I guess this is called "Hard mode".
After that, I want only to MO on some regular schedule (for prostate health, etc.) if I'm not having partnered sex, with no porn use as long as possible.
And here are a few questions:

• When should I try to get an accountability partner? Who is appropriate to choose? Do people ever meet up in person? (I live in a major US city, so I imagine there are at least a few users around)
• Should I also register on Reddit, or is this community still active enough? Keep in mind I am trying to limit "aimless" internet browsing, and Reddit seems... bad... for that.
• Journals? Should I keep one?
• Any other advice for a n00b?

Thanks a ton, especially if you read all that mess.
Nervous and optimistic,
-dead and bloated