30 year and a virgin =(

keep allive brother
we all just a same
we all a sinner
keep the good and cast the bad

 

Maybe some day it will be possible to boot up ones mind inside someone else's head.

If that were the case today I, like many of the other guys on this forum, could offer to boot up inside your head and take your body out for a spin. And from the sounds of it I don't think we'd have too much trouble getting laid, if indeed that was the objective.

So it's all in the mind, as I'm sure you know already. And the mind can be a bitch - ones own worst enemy blah blah blah.

I've victimized myself with a lot of self-criticism in the past, and as you can read about in almost every single self-help book ever written we are far more brutal about ourselves than others would ever be.

One recommendation for you: you could do far worse than read Mike Cernovich's The Gorilla Mindset. He addresses this exact problem head on with some great advice and practical steps.

Good luck!

 

I used to be in a very dark hole myself. Depressed angry, and PMOing constantly. Not having any desire to talk to girls but feeling worthless over the fact I was a virgin. I hated existing and living like that. I wanted things to be different. But when you're in a dark place like that, being crippled by depression, it can be next to impossible to change and to utilize yourself.

So what do you do?

You have to start climbing out of the pit you're in. One step at a time.

Where do you get the energy and the motivation for that? You have to decide for yourself once and for all that enough is enough. How long do you want to remain a virgin? Another 30 years? How long do you want to think of yourself as someone who's not worth spitting at? When we are old and frail at our deathbeds we will all look back at our lives. And what we see is up to us NOW. Everyday is all but a series of choices. Most of them don't matter by themselves. But together, over a period of time, the kind of choices we make determine our life. We all have a chance to do something great with our lives. To help others. To give love and receive love. To share joy. We can make a difference.

To do all that starts with raising your standards. If you say enough is enough then you are ready to start. It will be a long journey. And you will fall many times right back down where you started. But you have to keep going.



Quitting PMO is a great way to start this journey for building a better life for yourself. It allows you to clear the mental fog and utilize the most powerful energy we have circulating in our bodies--the chi energy.

Afterward and even during the PMO challenge I would consider developing skills on how to talk to girls. And it is definitely a skill, just like riding a bike. Message me if you want good resources.

Anyway man, I feel your pain. I used to be in a dark place myself, and I was a virgin until quite late in my life. However, no matter where we are we can always be somewhere else. We decide for ourselves if we want to listen to the cunning voices of addictions, laziness, and negativity or if we want to focus ourselves on a greater vision for the legacy we want to leave when it's time for us to go.

Cheers mate and good luck

 

@Bilebal Definitely you are not a loser, just a normal guy. And if you keep improving yourself, you're going to be a winner.

Why you are not a loser: First, you have a deep understanding of your problem and its causes. Second, you don't hate the others because of your problems and frustrations. Third, you have been taking care of your body and mind by means of exercising.

Losing virginity is not going to make you a real man. A real man is defined by values like courage, dignity, loyalty, will power, lack of addictions, honesty, kindness, etc.

I am sure you know that PMO is going to severely affect your body (erectile dysfunctions), mind (bombarding your brain with porn instead of something valuable), and, most important, your relationships (your attachment to porn will be stronger than your attachment to your girlfriend or wife). PMO can make you waste lots of time, energy, and even money, making you neglect your job, and later on your family and children.

But the most important thing we have to understand is that the real cause of our addictions is not our past traumas. Our past traumas are just a part of the problem. The real cause is our weakness and lack of will power. Lots of people had traumas, however they have no addictions. They have normal lives, normal families and normal jobs. So, even if we get over our traumas, our addictions will stay with us if we don't fight against them. Addictions affect all kinds of people, no matter how rich or poor, happy or unhappy, hard-working or lazy.

 

@Bilebal I don't know your culture, your religion, or your traditions, but I will try to answer your questions.

1. I quote your question: 'How do you guys dont masturbate when you interact with womans?' Answer: Any man can abstain from masturbation or sex, no matter how horny he may be. Sometimes it's a moral decision. If you were a boss and a woman wanted to sleep with you in order to get hired by you, you should behave in a professional way and hire the person who is the most suitable for the job, no matter how horny you are. Because we are men, we are supposed to be morally and physically stronger, so we should fight temptation better.

On the other hand, if you feel pain in your testicles because sperm has been accumulated inside them, you should definitely masturbate in order to release pressure. But you have to be aware that watching porn, thinking of sex, or looking at girls will increase the quantity of sperm in your testicles faster than if you have a normal life with normal thoughts.

2. Some people say that porn is worse than masturbation. I think porn is one of the worst thing that happened to humanity and it should be banned. If you bombard your brain with porn on a regular basis, nothing good will come out of it. Also, you will start to be attracted to porn instead of real girls. On the other hand, masturbation can easily become an addiction, if you masturbate for pleasure. We shouldn't masturbate for pleasure, we should masturbate from necessity. When we are married or have a stable relationship, we make love for pleasure. Also, masturbation can lead to PMO very easily. (PMO = porn, masturbation and orgasm combined).

If you want to have a beautiful balanced life, you should exercise, play football or soccer, listen to really good music, laugh with your friends, etc. I'm sure that your intuition warns you every time you are about to do something that doesn't seem quite right. You should listen to your intuition and stop any harmful activities, fantasies, or thoughts.

 

@Bilebal Hello. I am 100% Romanian, and my nickname is robertgianni1976 because two of the persons that I admired in childhood are called Robert and Gianni. And 1976 is the year I was born.

We are a traditional society in which women used to be equal to men without losing their femininity. Romanian women used to be very financially independent, but also very family-oriented. Some of them still are; they also read, go to the theater, educate their children, etc. Even today, there are women who don't care about having a car or a fashionable house. They think that real values, like a united family, are more important. Even if they are atheist, they are loyal to their husbands and families; they are so not because they are afraid of God's punishment, but because they received a good education.

Actually, everything changed when globalization started. Governments literally started a war against traditional values. They use the Church as an instrument of manipulation and brainwashing. Also, they use criminal clans, bank credits and intimidation to control the population. The economy and agriculture were completely destroyed in order to force people to work abroad. Corruption and bribery are everywhere, especially in the institutions where honesty is needed the most: justice, health, law enforcement, education.

Once parents were forced to work abroad and leave their children with their grandparents, family was destroyed, too. Most children have no solid values or education. They are tomorrow's slaves or criminals.

Anyway, nowadays most women are full of ridiculous feminist ideas and think they are free, but in reality they have to work abroad, take 2 jobs, or even marry guys with money in order to make sure their kids will have a better life.

I'm not a very tall, rich, smart and good-looking guy, so I've never been very successful with women, but I will never accept a wife with feminist ideas and behavior. I'm very respectful and helpful with women, some say that I'm too respectful, but I have my dignity and values and I prefer to die alone rather than give them up.

Now our society is sabotaged by elements such as: lack of education and values, lack of commitment, pop trash, porn, obsession with fashion and image, lack of femininity and masculinity, corruption, fear of speaking one's mind.

I strongly believe that those who are really to blame are not feminists, but men. We are supposed to be the strongest and toughest. If not us, who else is supposed to make the right decisions for our society and enforce them?

 

@Casper777 You're completely right. If we look around, we'll see that anybody can be an addict, even financially successful people. Even a man who has a beautiful girlfriend or wife can be addicted to PMO.

It's up to us to decide not to use porn and thus discourage porn makers to produce this trash and ruin other people's lives.

 

You don't have to identify with the things the mind tries to label you as.