Hi, New to NoFAP. Currently on my fourth day. This is NOT my first attempt; I actually managed 50 days three years ago. But that's about it. Sorry if this is not what I am supposed to share, please delete the post if you have any moderation/admin rights in that case. Not troubled by actual P. M though... Again, sorry if this sounds like a confession, but where I am from, sex is very taboo and not openly discussed even among friends. Always had a vivid imagination. Too vivid. Straight male. Which meant that almost any girl I knew made her way into my fantasies since I was ~14. It was once a few weeks, then weekly, then daily, then even 5-6 times a day. I do not KNOW whether they can detect such behaviour, but, I bloody well am convinced that they can, if it makes sense. One thing I know however, is that one feels tremendous guilt, and it might be manifested in one's body language which women do catch up on. I have never had any actual relationship, but have lost all my platonic ones. And in the process very isolated. What I do know, however, is that I regret every moment of such behaviour, and would that I could, I would give my younger self a kick in the balls every time he indulged. Hypocrisy, after all, is a cornerstone of human behaviour. More importantly, though, I would apologise to every girl/woman I ever thought about. I feel disgusted with myself, but at this point I can only move forward. Hope to make it all the way through this time. I am going to try and go past this challenge.
Hey Regaining, Welcome to the thread! Your post is perfectly fine. You can share anything here. The point is to help us achieve our goals. My personal view is that internet porn is addictive, overly time-consuming, and, at least in some cases, harmful to relationships. Also, I think it's good to be as forgiving of ourselves as possible. My approach is to try to be honest with myself about what I want, what helps me achieve it, and what holds me back, without blaming myself. I don't find self-blame to motivate me effectively or make me better off. Though it's we can't control those kinds of thoughts, so it's tricky. Anyway, just my two cents.
Thank you. I lost today, actually. Have to start back again. The problem it seems is feeling good about oneself. Been treating every day free as a win. Should probably treat every day free as one step away from the path to certain doom
Hello my friends, I am checking in on my day 30/30. This is my last day in this challenge! Tonight if everything goes well I should be accomplishing this first goal. To be honest, this is not the first time I go 30 days without PM, but it is the first time I do it while on a serious reboot process. I am happy about that! I really want to finish my reboot, which I think will happen after around 12 months. In the past I've had good strikes for about 3-5 months and one of 7 months. But I managed to do that after many years of failures and learning about myself and this addiction. This time, after 17 years, I am ready to go further and reboot. I think there are several things that have helped me a lot in this new reboot process: 1. Study every day about rebooting. Watching inspiring videos, reading the Soaring Eagle articles, reading this forum and sharing my experiences with others. That is number 1. Working on my determination every day, so that when a difficult day comes, I have enough determination. 2. Be positive about completing the challenge. Focus on studying and find time for activities that help me be happier, instead on focusing on resisting and fighting against PM. 3. Fill my agenda with productive work (not stressful work) and other activities. I resumed exercising, prepared for a running race, spent time with my kids and my wife. Went on a hike, etc. 4. Number 1 again. I think what is key is to know ourselves. Find out what works and what is making us relapse. We can control many of these things. In my case, I am focusing on controlling my thoughts. Filling my brain with positivism and good feelings. We need good things to happen in our lives if we want to have a positive balance. That makes things easier. Tomorrow I will continue on the 60-day challenge, starting at day 31. I wish the best for you all!!
I've been away for quite a while now. The coronavirus really smacked me off the wagon in many ways. My sleep, eating, screen, and porn habits have been bad for the last ten days, though I think the last one or two have been a bit better than when the crisis first began. And I hope that this forum will help me continue in the right direction. Instead of aiming for a streak, I think I'll try something different: I'll keep a running tally of the fraction of days I've met my goals. I'll start tomorrow.
