Yesterday was hard, stuff doing rounds in my head, watched a movie at the time of sleeping (which i don't normally do as it ruins the sleep quality) to get over the feeling of it for about 1hour. "If you are truely dedicated to your goal & respect your body & mind you will find a way to achieve that goal" that's the lesson i learned yesterday.
I am near the 30th Day !!! After relapsing on the 17th, I really felt like crawling since time crept so slow. Soaring Eagle material enlightened me. It was the missing key. It is also helping my spiritual cultivation. Words of thanks not enough for the great kindred of everybody here.
Day 8, I feel better today, also quite motivated to do stuff, past week I was able only to watch youtube videos.
0/30 relapsed yesterday, I feel tired today and a bit dissapointed but know this is not what I want. I want change, I want to keep my energy, I will do better this time!
THURS 29/30 FOLLOW THROUGH I wish I could report more, fellas, but not that strong of an urge over the last few days. I guess my mindset is simply to get to my 30 days and move onward to the next benchmark. I hope you're all doing great and calibrating your brains and body. Keep fighting the good fight.
Day 28 Warning: Triggering content Went to mall yesterday ad after the movies, I went to a massage parlor (this is turning out to be a pattern I need to watch out for) One was booked completely which I think is BS. Anyways I went to two others. In both cases, the feeling of lying down naked is very refreshing, although they covered it whenever it was exposed. I edged a bit, and after the massage, I feeling some unease at my hips..when I wen to pee, i didn't exactly release sperm, but i think it was pre-cum that was built up from edging, i know this because my nuts were intact. Since it aint a relapse, my counter will stay! And woke up like super fucking late today, like 11:30ish, which is fucked up, imho.
Yehey ! I made it to the 30th Day ! And I don't know what to do after this. Any suggestion ? I plan to continue but back to Zero day after every 30th. Beyond that # overwhelms me. Much thanks to everybody here. This achievement is more than riches and honor. Someday it will be my turn to help. Reading inspiration and spirituality regularly is the key. Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there. - Rumi