28 yo significant ED...countless reasons

hey everyone, I'm new here but I've been doing a bit of reading for the past 2 or 3 months now. Here's my story and I would greatly appreciate any and all help you guys could offer.

I am 28 years old and in great health. I lost my virginity when I was 13 years old and have not 'really' been single since. I started masturbating around that time as well, but this was without porn until I was about 22. I have had ED issues my entire life. How it would typically happen is that the first few attempts at sex with a new girlfriend there was ED. As I became more comfortable with the girl, the issues tended to cease and we would have a normal sex life...until the next girlfriend in which the first few times I would have issues. This never really bothered me (except for the fact that one-night stands were practically impossible for me). About 2 years ago, I began dating a new girl and the same issues ensued. ED quickly went away but the relationship became very emotionally abusive for me. The girl turned out to be seeing another guy the entire time and she would bounce between me and the other guy. This resulted in extreme anxiety as you can imagine, which led to the occasional erectile issues which she would respond to by leaving me for the other guy. I am no longer involved with this girl (thank god!) but now I have severe ED.

There are more details to my story and this is where I'm not sure where the ED began and exactly how to fix it.
1. I am very involved in fitness, it is a huge part of my life. I am also a competitive athlete in this field, which means in order to do well, anabolic steroids are part of the game. I run one cycle per year which is always mild. These cycle are about 3 months in length and are not composed of high doses.
2. At one point, about 4 years ago, I took the drug finasteride, which if you haven't read about this...many men have experienced permanent erectile dysfunction as a result of this drug. Once I found this out, I immediately stopped taking it.
3. During the rocky relationship (the past 2 years) sex was infrequent due to the conditions of the relationship so I relied heavily on porn and masturbation to curb any desires. During the worst times, I was up to 3-4 times a day...and this was for 2 years.
4. Once I started having issues with this girl, I began taking cialis before sex...sex was very predictably scheduled. As long as I took cialis, I had no issues. But on the rare spontaneous occasion, when I couldn't take cialis, I had significant issues functioning. Not to mention, the sides from cialis significantly affected me (blood red face, heart burn, nasal congestion, lower back pain, etc.)

I learned about nofap in December and since, I have completely quit watching porn. I am at a point now where I will go about 4-5 days with no masturbation and then I crack and masturbate without porn, just imagination. I also masturbate now with my non-dominant hand because when I masturbated with my dominant hand, I would do it in a rhythm and speed that was very different from sex.

It has been 2 months since I have been out of that terrible relationship and where I am at now is that even those infrequent times I masturbate, the erection is very weak and if I stop for even a moment, it's gone. If I take cialis, I'm good to go. I do not want to be reliant on cialis at such a young age and I am positive I can beat this. Since I have been about 2 months without porn, do you feel that the infrequent masturbation is preventing me from recovering? Do you feel that I might be psychologically dependent on cialis after 3 years of taking it regularly? I really have no idea where the root of the problem is...thank you in advance for any help. I greatly appreciate it.

 

thanks buddy...I appreciate your response. I have considered the effects of steroids, but truthfully, I am 99% positive they are not the cause. I have been researching anabolics for over 10 years and when I use them (again, only once a year and not at all in high doses) I use them very appropriately with all necessary ancillaries. I have never noticed a difference in erections between cycles. There are brief periods of time (post cycle) where your libido is very low although you can continue to have an erection. This low libido is hormonal as your body is beginning to reproduce testosterone again on its own. If anything, I notice that erections are easier when I am using steroids, although not significantly.

I am most concerned about the two year period of what I would say was porn addiction and the potential reliance on cialis. One last concern is that I continue to be outrageously attracted to the girl from the rocky relationship, and I am not very attracted to most other women. Truthfully, when I was watching porn, my favorite stars were those that most resembled her. The depths of the relationship are hard to describe here but it was very psychologically abusive. I am confident that if I were to become sexual with her again, I would not have any ED issues, yet if I were to be with another woman, I know ED is guaranteed.