24yo here to quit and feel less lonely

Hi im really stuck in a cycle of shame, which fuels my bad habit because i'm very into humiliation...im 24 and gay.

I like tv, movies, music, nature, politics, travelling, arts, fashion, design, and cooking!
I am also trying to get into yoga and working out.
Some of my favourtie artists are erykah badu, pj harvey, tinashe, madonna, and some of my favourite shows are fleabag, the comeback, sopranos, succession and many more.

I want to keep this light and list things i am interested as it would be great to talk to someone with similar struggles and interests, if you are here

It has been a long struggle for me, i have been masturbating to porn and online chats since i was 14 i think, and 10 years later i am soooo tired of never having anything fun to say to people bc of how much free time i spend alone, jerking off and encouraging my own disintegration. Porn consumption and excessive masturbation have made me more insecure in the last three years, i don't date and i have been more reclusive from few friends i have.
I think the opposite of addiction is community, and i really want to feel a part of something where i don't have to feel shame and regret for doing what i do, and instead help each other see other sides of life...
I think that I can never commit to NoFap or better habits is because i don't know where they would lead me. I sabotage because this way i know the outcome, for that reason i fetishize rejection and humiliation... I am looking for a way out, if you have any stories to share please do, i will check the according forums as well, i just hope that it is indeed possible not to be so weak and self undermining.

That said, i'm not sure if it's the correct thread for that, but I would love to chat with someone, or even start a group conversation.
I am in canada on the west coast, would be awesomeeee if you were around here as well but definitely not a requirement.