I have been putting off truly dealing with this pmo issue for years now, always telling myself that I would eventually free myself from the addiction. I have tried numerous times to "reboot" in other ways with the longest I can remember lasting a month and a half. I'm very hopeful that, by the grace of God, using the resources and community on NoFap, I'll finally be porn free. Thanks for your support! I'll be writing my long-winded in-depth story (mostly for my own sake) below if you care to read.*May be triggering don't read if you'reexperiencing urges* My Story: From a young age, I was very curious about my sexuality and remember being punished for doing naive but borderline sexual things with other kids. At the age of nine or ten, after reading a strip club sign titled, "SexyNude", which my parents lazily explained as "bad", I typed it in to the internet search bar on our home computer. I remember looking at pictures of naked adult women for the first time. It was extremely traumatic, but the rush was exciting/stimulating and I was certainly hooked. Not long after, I discovered hardcore p. online, which was even more traumatizing and shocking. I started fapping[pre pubescent mind you] to orgasm before I went to bed most nights. My access to porn was limited therein for a couple years, but the damage was already done. During Jr. high/High-school, my internet access increased and so did my p. usage. I was starting to pmo regularly. This surprisingly didn't really affect my confidence and youthful vigor at this time. I was decently popular in high-school and generally succeeded especially in athletics. Sexually I had a good amount of opportunities to become sexually active, but I never did due to my faith and my parents advice on dating and marriage. I know people have different views on this, but I am happy to still have my virginity and am saving it for marriage[I know that's useless though unless I can reroute my brain's view of sexuality]. It wasn't till after high-school into college that I started realizing that I was medicating with p. and that it was extremely unhealthy. I struggled a lot with shame and lost a lot of motivation in certain areas. I lost the drive to date in college and wasn't as social as I would've been due to p. Somehow, I still had enough drive to play 4 years of collegiate athletics and finish my degree, but I am still addicted to p. and it's ruining my life! It makes me sick when I think of how much time, energy, confidence and mental health that Porn has taken from me. I'm realizing that I can't beat p. without reaching out for help and attacking it directly. I know it is going to be very difficult to reboot my brain after all these years, but I'm gonna give it all I got. That's why I'm here.
Hi King. Welcome to NoFap brother. You're doing the best thing for yourself tackling this addiction. I wish you the best on your recovery. Hope you find all the resources you need here at NoFap. Much strength and focus good sir!