21 days without porn, 35 days without orgasm, even more aroused by gay sexual thoughts

hey qazwsxedc,
Thanks for the honesty of your post. I would have to say you are in for a daily battle. But it will get better, you will go from one number of thoughts per day to a fewer number of thoughts the next. Then fewer until you are down to days where it doesn't happen and days where you have to think about it just to think about it.
You are not a robot to your own brain. Find healthy distractions. Go running, walking, swimming (appropriate area). I go through what I call "Caged Dog" syndrome where I just feel like I am running in circles looking for something to do. Create a plan for your day. Make plans with friends so that you are not isolating.

I know you can get through this and be the man you want to be.

 

I'm not sure how many days into the reboot you are but if you're serious about the process & allowing your mind-body to re-wire, you need to realise this won't be easy.

When we've been using porn to give us our dopamine shot, we can't just walk away. You're gonna go through easy days & difficult days, relaxed & enjoyable days, followed by days where your anxiety levels are through the roof & you can't concentrate on anything.

What's your plan? Feel free to post it here for comment & suggestions. One thing's for sure - you need a plan.

Know what PMO addiction is all about. Spend good time on YourBrainOnPorn.com. Educate yourself. Knowledge is power.

Check in here often. NoFap is more important than Facebook & all your other social media put together, for you right now.

Are you feeling more uncomfortable, edgy, anxious, restless, unfocused, down, volatile, angry, grumpy, short with people, sleepless or wierd than normal?

If yes, there's your signs of progress & improvement.

Stay strong. Check in often.

T22.

 

the whole idea behind HOCD is kind of questionable to me. I doubt that someone can become interested in something completely alien to them, even with porn's effect. As someone that had (and still has) an addiction to porn I can say with confidence that there are still things that I have absolutely zero interest in, even though they would be closely related to lots of other stuff I would watch.

My interest might have changed from A to B but never from 1 to B if that makes any sense. Porn, even in extreme amounts, likely can only change someone's interests subtly. For example, if you are someone that happens to enjoy the booty, then you could easily transition from that into any kind of porn that put a focus on that particular body part, whereas if you were to watch a porn without much booty to speak of, you would likely never be able to enjoy it.

Now I'm not suggesting that you should screw guys or anything, it is entirely up to you what you decide to do with your body, however don't give me this "Porn=sexual deviant" BS. If porn had such strong effects you would've seen a strong correlation with incest, bestiality (didn't it used to be called beastiality btw? wtf happened with the spelling?) pedophilia and any other number of fetishes or kinks with the rise of the internet. Yet, although many more people are exposed to that kind of content thanks to the internet, there is simply no reason to be believe porn warps people's mind in any drastic way (at least when it comes to HOCD anyway).

Deep down you kind of like the thought of dudes, and that's cool, but you want to be with women instead, which is also cool, no need to throw yourself under the bus like that though. To be truly free of porn isn't to be free from all sexual thoughts, it is to be dedicated and interested in the real thing... Women. After I went on my 3 month streak a while back my perversions (if you want to call them that) only got stronger, I started to appreciate things far more than I ever did before, I especially recall feet being on my mind constantly, something that had never even really dawned on me before. Just accept your feelings and move on, repression only breeds regret and sadness, which are equally as devastating as porn itself.

 

yeah, i know what you're talking about, its my main reason to relapse because i always use porn to test my sexuality when my doubts are stronger..
what do you have here is gronial response, it can be a little movement, hard boner, all way to fucking orgasm!, can you even imagine that ?
and the rebooting process isn't linear, you can't feel okay immediately, some days HOCD thoughts will be stronger on you, some days you'll feel okay, so
give yourself sometime, then judge later..
you'll not lose anything if you continue NoFap, what do you have to lose ?
just fight and don't lose hope..

 

You've got 16 years invested in porn. 16 years of it warping your mind.

Rome was not built in a day, nor will it be torn down in a day.

 

If you're brosexual you can always come over here and snuggle with me ... (no sex please).

 

I am in the same situation. I reached a new record of 41 days but after 30 days all my interest in girls sexually went away, the need for female attention and love is still there but the only thing in my mind 24 hours a day was a specific gay fetisch which had become more erotic and emotionally charged. It got so bad that I relapsed today to avoid living it out. And I know that in reality I find it disgusting. I don't know how to get rid of it though, abstaining from normal PMO was not a problem, the fetisch in my head is the thing that is killing me. I believed it would vanish soon above 30 days

 

Im bi, married to my wife and I prefer stright porn, but now as I dont PM om my 14th day, I start dreaming and fantasizing back to my single days where I could be with any one any time - girls and boys - im bi and mostly guys before.... When i PMO i rarely think about gaysex during the day - now I do sometimes. Its really weird!
I try to honor my dick and balls and not judging or hate it; its doing a fucked up great job so I desice to include my best friend and his friends and I honor them with a light massage with organic avocado oil. If I get hard, I pas the sensation about my body and thank mother earth I have this crazy generator inside my belly - its crazy and its awsome and the next time I O it will be with my wife, and If you are single it should be with someone really sexy and cool and ud whould deserve it