2017: The year in review (Talk about your year in here!)

Hi guys, a few days ago I made a new years resolution thread, this is the second half of that, a "review" if you will of the past year with regards to NoFap, work, relationships, anything you want. I'l get the ball rolling but I invite anyone who wishes to to do the same. 2017 was a weird year for me, I made a lot of progress in some areas but stood still or even regressed in others. I'll split the post into three parts for the three parts of my year; my second semester in the second year of university (January to May), my long summer (May to late September), and the first semester of my third year (Early October to now).

January to May of 2017 was a dark time for me. My workload at university was horrible, I was stressed, anxious, and constantly around people I outright despised. My friends turned into people I also hated and I started to properly fall out of love with my degree pathway. I pined for a relationship but felt so shit that I didn't want to try, and my daily routine was tedious and soul destroying. Ironically it was during this time that I discovered NoFap in January, which was the one thing that gave me some flicker of hope for a change. Throughout all the bullshit I managed to get to get to a 75 day streak on my first try, which I only failed because the chaser effect from endless wet dreams combined with stress pushed me over the edge. March to May in particular was a bad time, I struggled to reclaim lost progress and as the end approached the toxicity level in the classes and between friends was so high you could feel the tension. When it turned out my group had been deemed the best, it overflowed into outright shit flinging, the repercussions of which are still being felt today. While this was happening I cut ties with a friend in an explosive manner and took up a more consistent schedule of exercise on a morning, specifically waking up early to go on long walks either alone or with my dad.

The summer was long and boring, there isn't much to look back on here. I tried to get to a high streak again but could usually only manage 3-4 weeks before failing again. It frustrated me and combined with the continued irritation from my "friends" it made the summer a less than pleasant time. I went on holiday, managed to have a relaxing as fuck 2 weeks only to come back and have the bullshit hit me like a train. Towards the end of the summer I learnt my oldest friend was coming up to the same uni I went to, I spent a lot of time trying to ensure he was living with me for my final year.

Thankfully when the semester started, my friend was living with me, and combined with my existing friend already there it balanced out the fact I was also having to put up with someone I was friends with at the time they agreed to move in but could no longer stand (if you want details of this look at the "Fucked over by friends" threads I started, its a whole other thing by itself). I had already decided I didn't give a fuck about the degree anymore and decided I was going to try and do other things. It was around this point I started to realise that, PMO induced or not, that I wasn't "all there". Mood swings, depression, anger, stress, anxiety, depersonalization, you name it, I felt it. It didnt go as far as suicidal thoughts but if I hadn't sorted myself out it might have gotten there. I sorted myself out by adopting new methods; cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, meditation, and introspection. I started taking my mental health more seriously and in the last couple of months of the year took steps to systematically eliminate toxic people and situations from my life. I'm also more driven than ever to kick my PMO addiction.

So, what did I learn this year?

. That NoFap does work, that it gives me power I didn't know I had and it has helped me. I've strayed from the path more than once and accept that it doesnt help in every possible aspect of my life, but nonetheless, NoFap DOES work.

. That I need to stop seeking validation from other people/institutions and stop making decisions based on pride. I hate my degree, I hate the work, I hate the people, I accept this now and it was a prideful reluctance to accept I was wrong to pursue this career that stopped me from accepting it earlier. Instead of seeking validation from others and from institutions (like the uni system) I need to give them the finger and follow my own path. I will do this in 2018.

. That its a waste of time trying to change people. I started actively resenting two people this year, and for years before that I tried and tried and tried to change them or otherwise get them to cooperate, and it was nothing but a waste. If someone isn't willing to give me the same respect I give them, they arent my friends and can fuck off.

. That my mental health matters. I cant say 100% whether my issues are all PMO related (I imagine many are), but regardless I'm convinced that I'm not entirely healthy up there. The fact that noone else seems to take me seriously sucks but it means I will have to again solve my own problems.

In general I think 2017 was a net positive, despite all the bullshit. I will strive to make 2018 "my year", the year I finally get off my ass and change for the better.

How about you?

 

This is great to hear, I hope 2018 is even better for you!

 

Great stuff, I'm hoping 2018 can be a good one!