2014 must be different!

Hi everybody!

I've discovered NoFap for the first time 2 years ago. Immediately seeing just how much it fits my description I began No-PMO. It lasted 30 days during which I had my first wet dream in my life at the age of 19 and my sensitivity to erotic stimulus improved drastically. I never though that it is possible to get aroused just be looking at non-nude model or fully dressed real life women (well, given how most girls dress today anyhow).

But sadly I relapsed and never managed to get past 14 days ever since. I have been trying all the time, usually ending up justifying my relapse and then feeling guilty about my lack of will power.

I am 21 years old collage student from Europe. I have quite strong PIED which prevented me from having sex every time I had a chance and caused huge problems in my relationships and self esteem.

My porn usage escalated quite quickly to extremes in volume and kinkiness. Having the mental image of myself watching some of the stuff I used to makes me don't like myself as a person and that needs to change.

My plan for 2014 is no porn and masturbation. Long term goal is to never get back to my old messed-up porn habits. If it means never watching porn again, than be it.

At around 90 days mark I plan on visiting a professional to find out if my ED is cured. I don't necessarily look forward to it but I see no other solution as my anxiety about my previous failures prevents me from establishing new relationships.

I plan on writing a short journal entry in here every single day with a quick summary of my daily activities. Hopefully it will make me even more proactive and motivated to change not only the porn habits but also improve my social life.

Anyway I think that's all I have to say for now and I look forward to getting to know you guys better over the course of this journey

 

Thank you Je for your encouragement. Like you said, just knowing that after so many years I could again function like I am suppose to, that my ability to react to real life events is not artificially reduced is enough to keep me going.

I know that in the long run the hardest part will be resisting the urge to check out just how great porn would feel after so many days of abstinence.
In those times I will have to again and again remind myself of what I can gain if I fight through it. That's why communities like this one are so amazing.