I have been using porn as a substitute for loneliness for a very long time. I have been fortunate to enjoy some very close fulfilling relationships but my last few left me seeking an escape and that escape has turned into a trap. The last year my habits have been escalating until I realized I had reached the point where I was more comfortable with the porn than putting myself out there. This has played at least a part in the devastation on my love life, of which there is none. I am a 34 year old male who has suffered (and suffers) from anxiety and depression. The porn was always a crutch to deal with that yet the more I engage in it as a crutch the more it hurts me personally, through my self esteem and my ability to achieve a satisfying orgasm. I could go on but long story short I need to make a change and the change I am committed to making is abstaining from porn and masturbation for a time, to preserve the life energy within me I have so thoroughly wasted for so many years. I am very grateful there are communities like yours and hope to learn as much as possible. Thanks to everyone for contributing here.
Welcome aboard, man. This is a great place to get (non-professional) help, and is a hub of support and education. I wish you success on your journey! Depression and anxiety are tough. I hope you can work through it.
Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you. The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
I confess I hadn't really thought much about a strategy other than abstaining from porn and masturbation while engaging in healthier behavior as a substitute. For instance, I have been talking more about exercise so I have a new schedule for weekly biking and weight lifting (as well as dance lessons). One of the things I've learned over the years is nothing is a better cure for depression than exercise. I am also in the process of composing a brief synopsis of why I decided to do this to remind myself of how miserable I felt when I was engaging in the addiction multiple times a day. This will serve as a warning any time I feel an urge to relapse because no matter how much I struggle as I withdraw I know there is light at the end of the tunnel and eventually any engagement in the prior addictive behavior will ultimately lead to a dead end where I feel as bad as I did. I have yet to make a decision on whether to get a formal accountability partner but I'm open to the suggestion. Bear in mind, this is more about dispelling with ways to avoid social contact and not necessarily about porn, at least to me. I have had healthy sexual relationships in the past where porn has not been an issue. The problem is confronting my avoidance behavior because the loneliness will eventually kill me.
good luck jack! Sounds like you have given this new direction some serious thought based in deep heartfelt contemplation. That's a great point from which to start. I too reached a point of no return and on that day I decided to quit and retake my life. I did a lot of reading and listening to the harms of porn and took up a meditative breathing practice that helped greatly. May you achieve the success you seek! W.
I would suggest creating an official journal. Go to the Reboot Logs and find your age group and begin your journal. Copy/ paste a link here so others can find and follow you along your journey. Should you decide to get a formal accountability partner, think about the following: Do you want one in the same city, town, country or time zone since this is a global community? What expectations do you have for your AP? What help are you going to give to your AP, since it is a partnership? Does it matter if the person is your age or older or younger or does it matter? Do you want to partner with some at you same level of sobriety or someone with more sobriety or does it matter? How do you want to communicate? Through NoFap? Skype? Facebook? An app like r|tribe or kik or another something else? Also check out In Case You Didn't Know for additional strategies and tips which may help you along your journey.
