2 years, 2 months and 2 days in hard mode. A true miracle

Hello my friends,

Thank you very much for all the great and encouraging comments ! Today I can say : YES one can be free from PMO, permanently and for good. YES, one can be liberated from a wrong, deadly idea of sexuality and love, of a wrong idea of femininity and masculinity. I am also convinced that it can't be achieved alone.

Sure ! The benefits I'am experiencing : I am more happy, less false, less two-faced, less hypocritical. With women, I am simply myself, I lost this terrible anxiety I had everytime I would talk with a girl, because I lost any wrong fantasy and wrong intention against women. When I am with a girl, today, I am simply with her, I can be joyful and direct, and I don't have this film in my head anymore. The voice that tells me "You must seduce this girl, she MUST love you, you have to sleep with her" etc... has totally disapeared ! I don't objectify women anymore, I understood that women are human beings, with a soul, a spirit, beautiful beings worthy of love, interest and respect. I feel much better in every area of my life, I sleep better, I feel more sicure about my capacity, my will, my life in general... I KNOW that it is possible to change for the best every area of my life. I often remember the speech I would tell to myself three years ago : "it is impossible to change, to stop P or O, I have done it for too much time, now it is in my DNA..." Today I can affirm that I was wrong : i experienced that it is possible to change radically. I often tell to myself, when I have a difficulty : "I stopped PMO, so their is nothing I can't change !" and it gives me a lot of confidence and courage. Also, at the spiritual level, my faith is more rooted than ever : I experienced its power and its validity in my flesh, and for me, is the strongest motor I could fine. I feel in harmony with God, with nature, with society, with myself. When I would do PMO, I would consider myself an animal, a monster or a psychopath. I would consider that a "true man" is one who sleeps with every woman he inconters, and so I would be over frustrated. Today, all this neurosis has disapered. Yes, I think this is the greatest benefit I earned : maturity, reconciliation with reality.

I won't say that I am a superhuman, thant I healed every aspect of my life, no ! On the contrary, it helped me a lot to accept myself as I am : weak, not better than my neighbor, full of incapacity and failures... But loved and accepted just as I am !

I was sad, angry, frustrated and cynical. I had a girlfriend but I would still PMO everyday. I was lost morally : I had lost the notion of good and bad... I believed it was necessary, in order to be a "real man", to dominate, to speak louder than the other etc... I would wear a mask, a false image of myself. Pratically I was depressed ! Two things changed my life : i encountered Jesus in my life, and, thanks to him, I stopped many bad habits : videogames, PMO, virtual addiction, angryness, sport obsession, etc...

Yes, yes, I fully agree with you : we often relapse because of things that we don't even consider bad things. Example : films, series, ADs, videogames, girls on the street, wrong conversations, books, etc... According to me, the more we throw away any trigger, the more we are happy, and free in our head and hearth. But this has been a key for me : NEVER watch a girl in the street. Or at least, NEVER watch twice. Lower your gaze my friend, lower your gaze. The first time you see her, it's not your fault, you can't be blind. But the second time, it's all about free will.

My friend, it needs time, but I am sure that after 4 or 5 months you'll really begin to experience all the benefits : happiness, smiling, being more simple and natural socially. Do you think your social difficulties could have an other origin ? Maybe other bad habits you have ? Did you throw away every trigger in your life ? Every source of social anxiety (bad social networks, depressing internet sites/films, etc?...) Because triggers create social anxiety : it makes you feel ashamed and frustrated. Do you have a spiritual life, do you pray ?

Here I talk from my own, personnal point of view : it helps A LOT to pray, to speak with God about our difficulties. I believe he ALWAYS listens to us, because He is everywhere, and always comes to help a man who is sincere and open his heart to him.

Man, keep it up, you did an AMAZING strike, 80 days !! If you continue like this, in one year you'll be an new man, I am sure of this ! I will pray for you my friend !

I don't remember exactly, but I would say that after one year I wouldn't have wet dreams or intrusive thoughts anymore.

Unfortunatly no, it would be very pretentious (and dangerous) thinking that ! I think I am more weak than ever I have no control of myself, that's why I am very carefull about triggers : I avoid everything that could trouble my inner peace and my chastity. But I must say that today it is very easy for me to not P or M or O : I feel much better without doing it. I don't have ANY temptation about doing it : I don't struggle anymore. But I'am sure that if I leave my "safe space", if I expose myself to triggers, the temptation will strike hard again.

Yes ! I am doing the "postulate" in order to become a franciscan friar. If it's God will, in one year, and a half, I'll make the vow of chastity : I would like to chose celibate for life ! And I promise you that the friars and nuns I know are very, very happy : sex or conjugal relations aren't necessary in order to be sane and joyful. I think the only thing we need is love : love in fraternity, love with God, love with every human being... If there's love, there is sanity and life !

My friends, I want to tell you : COURAGE ! It's worth it, it really, really do. At the begining, the fight is very difficult. But with time, it becomes natural : the temptation disapear, only the peace remain.

I think that if you pray the rosary every day, with the precise request of being liberated from PMO, you'll be liberated for sure and you'll receive the divine strenght for your quest !

Pax et Bonum !

Proxy