I am starting to feel like i am losing it. i relapsed yesterday after not even 3 days. Before i go to bed i looked at the mirror pointing a finger on myself and said look at man, you got all that information to know that PMO has negative effects on you, its something you do not need in your life anymore, you gonna be happier without it, now talking to subconcious mind and said, i am going to sleep now, you try to rewire and rip out porn, i dont want this anymore. I went and watched some relaxing videos for 1 hour or so and then fall asleep. So what follows is, i experienced 2 nightmares, the first ones content was so freaking disgustic that its not even fun, i will not say nothing and never to anyone about this thing no matter what.I am not even analyzing its content and what it is related with what caused it, just trying to forget it. 2nd nightmare was after i woke up from the first one, i was not feeling so bad or scared i was feeling like the biggest wtf of my life.but i was extremely tired unlike the other recent days where i could wake up a bit faster and easier, generally i have trouble getting out of bed and i am working on it, having positive progress so far.The content of this nightmare was more clear, i met a girl and i was feeling happy she was beautifull blonde dont remember face, i saw us doing many activities in life , some of them lasted longer(dream time) and then the others progressed like super fast like a flashforward with picture slideshow.we where happy together i saw us getting married and then the slideshow stopped to where i am at now, my room and my bed and she was with me in her wedding dress holding our hands into our bed, and then suddenly the happy feelings faded away, the walls the room took a red-blood color, i dont remember how i felt exactly but it was something negative for sure, a bit scared i think, the small tv that i have started playing something, there was a man inside there everything that he was wearing was black, he had a whip and it felt like his intentions where to hurt us in some way, then some other things might have happened that i do not remember clearly and i woke up.Not feeling bad but i dont feel motivated to do my activities for today, already lost so much time with waking up later and thinking about these dreams, caused a bit confusion on myself trying to analyze everything. Now i am not new to my brain having so much effect on my reality, when i was 15 years old i experienced something like hypohondrism or mynchousent with severe psychosomatic symptoms on my body, whatever my mind was implementing on me i would believe that is real, i went through 67 different illnesses inside 2 and something years, the arrythmia was real though my heart would skip beats, you all know the infamous double beat i even had like 2 tripple beats.This made its reappearance later in my life with some panic attacks that lasted some minutes, and maybe a post traumatic depression state following me.Damn feels like another day lost in analyzing and overthinking stuff.Off to my cold shower cooking walk mediation poker session guys,at least i will try .Have a nice day too.
Your brain might be resisting what youre telling it because it is a change thats real and your fears are coming out now to reassert themselves.
So it might be the opposite of what i perceived it to be, its insane i was completely arrogant that PMO could have this effects, i was blind at it and using it since i was very young consistently.How can society education system parents relatives myself be so unaware to do not even give a single warning or at least debate.I blamed myself and my intelligence for not being able to see through it felt like a puppet of my own inner brain.Every day i discover something new, yesterday night i felt some unusual calmness and zero anxiety for no apparent reason before going to sleep, but everytime i was trying to fall asleep i entered a self hypnotic trance and felt like breaking it everytime after some minutes because it was the first time i experience something like it and did not know why this happened and what to do with it.
Possibly, many times our dreams can be us trying to prepare ourselves or confront something that we’ve been worrying about or anxious over, as a way to kind of achieve practice or simply think out situations. I’m not sure about your calm like trance and breaking out but hopefully it was not too negative but it does sound confusing which can be really hard to handle. It is insane how much people including myself have ignored the whole problem with PMO, we were not meant to encounter systems like this and people just want to further ignore it. That inner brain when controlled and understood can allow you to be free.
Unpopular opinion, but sometimes dreams are just dreams, man. They don't always have some profound meaning. Sometimes they do, but not always.
