I have been addicted to porn for a good four years. I tried really hard to get off this addiction but I still haven't found a leeway. The withdrawals are crazy: Mild insomnia, Migraines, Anger, Sexual frustration, intimacy issues. I also have been addicted to video games for a good eight years. My dopamine receptors have been completely fried. I have found life to be dull and completely boring. For most of my conscious life, I was in social isolation and as a result, my social skills have been completely hindered. I have no friends but I have a family. What inspired me to write this, was this video I found while scrolling YouTube:
Sounds serious, finding life uninteresting? Dull? You sure that is PMO or depression, that encourages the PMO?
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Provides help to those in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Call 1-800-273-8255 Available 24 hours everyday
You are in serious danger. I am glad you can see it and consequently prevent it! I think you should meet professional psychologist or psychiatrist and talk about your state as soon as possible. Additionally I suggest you to take look on a book I put link to in my signature. I don't think the porn is your biggest problem now, but most likely you need to beat it to regain control on your life. First, go and take help - it is the best what you can do to start healing.
I believe it's the depression that encourages the PMO. The porn industry capitalizes on people who have loneliness and depression issues. That's the bulk of their audience. What encouraged me to do NoFap was discovering a user on a porn site who was 54 years and who was on the site for 12+ years. The worst part is that the site gave the man achievements to encourage his addiction to go further and further he went. He went deeper down the rabbit hole with no sign of stopping. Every weird thing he watched was normalized, mainly because there are communities on the site which normalize what you're watching. It changes your sense of morality without the user realizing it.
That's right! I never made an account but on profiles I would remember seeing trophy's and achievements like things displayed. That's pretty terrifying, the sites reward you for watching and gets you even more and more hooked
I've found that porn doesn't explicitly cause depressions, but porn shame combined with the depressive symptoms of masturbation often cause men to spiral downwards INTO depression. It's not a direct correlation but I've found that when I relapse once, even without porn, if I keep relapsing over and over for more than a few weeks, even if everything is the same on the outside I start to get depressed. I think it will take a lot of time, all that quitting PMO does with depression is it removes the weight. it allows you to START moving up rather than continually pushing you down. It's still a journey, but removing it will allow you to start to heal. I know MANY close friends that grew up without any social life and were seriously depressed, but when they start to quit, and with a bit of help, they started becoming social and normal again. Your anxiety will go away, and you'll realize there's so much you need to learn about socializing and being normal, but you'll be able to do it. It may take a year or so until you're on top of the world, but you can get there. There is NOTHING that is not worth giving up, NOTHING that is not worth sacrificing, NOTHING that should not be confessed, and NOTHING better than quitting porn. I'm serious. You go this man. Get a filter, an Accountability partner, seek professional help (From a Christian Counselor who knows porn is a problem), and watch your life turn around. You're only 19. It gets better, but you have to make it better. Good luck. ASK ME QUESTIONS. SERIOUSLY. SHOOT ME A MESSAGE. I AM SO WILLING TO HELP YOU God bless.
At 19 I was where you were in terms of addiction to porn and video games. I watched porn on average 3 to 4 hours a day and gamed until 3am only to wake up at 7am and repeat the cycle. I skipped my college classes, lost my scholarship and nearly got kicked out of college it was so bad. I found so little enjoyment in life that I maxed out my credit cards buying gadgets that I didn't even open. No girlfriend, away from family (out of choice) and no close friends at all. It got so bad that I started thinking of suicide but thankfully never went any further. Looking back I realize that I was an porn addict and gamed the rest of the time to dull the pain. Even though games became more of a chore, it was something to pass the time when I couldn't watch porn because I had injuries myself during hour long porn sessions. I remember asking myself each day "what is the point of living". Luckily I graduated because I started putting what little energy I had into school and bought class notes from people to avoid going to class. This cycle continued for years and long after I graduated and found a low paying entry level programming job which I stayed in for years. I eventually found a girlfriend, got married had kids and the new found responsibility of a family drove me to success but I always felt like I was not in control of my life. Porn never went away and at times got worse. There was more than one occasion that I locked my corner office at work, cleared my schedule and used porn for hours. Part of me wanted to get fired because I felt I didn't deserve the life. Eventually porn and the PIED side effects destroyed my marriage. Now at the age of 35, I am divorced with two kids. Although I'm saddened from the divorce and sometimes feel like I will die alone... I am happy. I'm happy because for the first time in my life I came to the realization of the one thing that was the cause of my misery and self destructive behavior. Surprise, it was porn. Now at my longest streak of 34 days after dozens of relapses, I feel like I'm seeing the world with a fresh pair of eyes. I think there is a turning point for each person going through addiction that they realize the problem and find the strength to quit the addiction. After reading your post and watching your youtube video, I believe you are there or very close. Rather than thinking about suicide or harming yourself realize that porn is the true enemy. You probably don't have friends because you stay at home all day watching porn. You don't pleasure out of life because your brain has built such a tolerance to dopamine (like a drug) that you can't get the same feeling naturally. You feel like harming yourself because porn not only numbs your senses it also sends you into a pit of depression. I know this because I've lived it for nearly two decades. I was a slave to my addiction for many years and going through the motions like a robot to my one purpose... feed my brain with porn. I suggest trying to cut out porn and gaming for a while. There will be times where you can't last a day or even a couple hours. The key is practice and building patience. Eventually as your brain re-adjusts to the normal life I am confident you will be happier and stronger for it.
Geez. I thought I had it bad. I was a socially awkward kid growing up and I believe that was contributed to my porn addiction and video game addiction. I remember hiding in the bathroom back in high school to watch some porn with a free VPN (iPhone 6). I knew I was addicted but I didn't stop. Everybody I knew watched it. Hell, people in the class would talk about their favorite pornstars. But what I noticed was my lack of confidence with girls, I just felt so dead inside. I'm lucky to not have any erectile dysfunction issues yet. The crazy thing about porn, I would read horrible stories about human trafficking and I wasn't disturbed by it. I just feel bad for my generation. This porn issue is only going to get worse. It's messed up to be exposed to stuff like that and you haven't had your first kiss yet. Oh well, thank god the brain can recover from this.
Porn really messes with confidence and body image issues. For a while I believed because I didnt have a 10 inch willy and a six pack I wasn't desirable. I had trouble making eye contact with women because I felt like such a pervert. At 30 days a lot of these issues went away for me. Life just feels good deapite the PMO struggle.
Good to know that by day 30, a lot of those issues start to fade. I'm just worried about the flatline stuff. Does that happen to every person on NoFap or people who have erectile dysfunction issues?
Sometimes I'm sure I flat lined and feel excited but then I wake up with morning wood. For me a flat-line means that I'm closer to recovery especially with my PIED issues. Since I'm not in a relationship and don't PMO, I think a few weeks of flat-lining won't impact my life. If I was in a relationship I may be worried how it would impact my partner. Just like other good habits like working out you don't notice the changes unless you track them. I keep a journal and write in it a few times a week and looking back I notice changes. I am less award in social environments now and don't avoid social gatherings anymore. A few times I initiated small parties with friends which was a first. I feel less of a pervert when talking to women and can hold a conversation more than a few seconds long. I don't picture every hot woman that I see as a sexual object which is huge. Before I would see a girl at the gym or restaurant and my brain would put her in a porn fantasy in my head. This really fucked me up talking to women or making friends in general. At first I thought these changes were in my head or a placebo effect but many friends male and female have commented that there is something different about me and I seem happier.
I am 29 .. watching porn since I was 12 . Never new I was addicted .. never heard of nofap.. just going on.. I tried to stop this and believe me you can hold it for a week.. but when weekend comes .. it's all back and you'll think it's ok to stop for 5 days and I'll watch now and get satisfaction and then from tomorrow onwards I'll try to abstain for two weeks.. Well tomorrow is Sunday .. you'll watch and fap it again thinking you'll start from Monday.. In next week you'll do on thursday by accident and then you'll think ooooppss .. ok.now it's done so I'll again start from Monday and the you'll watch and satisfy yourself on Friday Saturday and Sunday. Now on Monday you'll think ohh I'll start from 1st of next month it's only 4 days away and swearing this time.. And it's all going to repeat and I'm next month you'll block some websites .. then stop watching youtube for some time and this sort of things you'll do whole year. Trust me. I found that two year ago that there is something not proper while having sex with my gf.. And after that two years i kept giving excuses that I'll stop from today from Monday from next month and many more. Now it's been 20 days and I have stopped it all. Nothing at all.. and now I don't imagine sex at my office.. I don't imagine sex in bus... I don't imagine sex while commuting.. The secret is.. I started reading a novel. It doesn't give me time to think anything else. I come from office at 5 and get into that novel and I read it till 8 .. have dinner and again back to it.. call my friends on phone for time pass... Then back to novel.. sleep at 1am and wake up at 7 am .. back to novel.. I don't watch TV.. I don't watch movies on laptop.. infact I haven't opened laptop in days.. I read on Kindle so there is no option of just googling stuff and distraction by anything.. I chose a novel.. The mistborn triology.. It has 3 books in series.. and then three more books in series .. and then 2 books as prequel.. Total 8 books.. I have reached on 3rd in 20 days.. By the time I complete 8.. 90 days will be passed.. Also the book.is great.. My suggestion: reading is excellent habit. Select some book with long series and get yourself involved into... Also this book has no porn or sex stuff so you'll not reach down your trouser while reading it. It helped me a lot and I already see changes in my routine.. I need less sleep. I am attentive at office .. I feel a new energy in myself.. Try it out. I might not have explained in some attractive fashion and with good vocabulary.. but trust me it has helped me .. And surely will help.you. Plus don't read other people's problem Bec that might excite you.. Don't visit this website again and again and ready other people's problems.. Like .. I am not reading your problem Bec that might excite me to do something.. Just come to your post read suggestion.. post new if needed and log out..
I agree with the website blocker stuff. I was watching youtube the other day and boom! Hot woman shaking her whatever on camera. I almost relapsed haha. Not all social media is inherently bad tho. There's a lot of channels that focus on self-improvement. But for the sake of making my dopamine receptors normal and tolerant again, I'm quitting social media as well. I appreciate your advice about reading other people's problems. In fact, I don't even go to the problematic sexual behavior section on NoFap for the sake of relapsing. I'm getting into drawing, writing and reading at the moment. I'm also in rehab and getting help from my psychiatrist. Wish me luck.
