180+ days success motivations and tips (helpful for Muslim fapstronauts)

1. Allah expects from human beings the best of their effort. The rest is up to him - whether he will show mercy or not. But as he himself describes him to be infinitely merciful, and has already told human beings that he looks towards their effort, it is difficult to imagine he will change his word on the day of judgement. So, we believe he will show mercy to those who strove their best and let them enter his paradise.
Good and perfect are not synonymous. Follow his guidance and be good to the best of our abilities.
2. a)I don't get the first part of the question. If person pursues excellence in submitting his will to God, doing good deeds,observing the divine commandments and restraining himself from what is forbidden by God, then there is no chance for him to be a partial follower of Islam.
b) We believe the only true guidance after the coming of the last and
final prophet- Muhammad (peace be upon him) is Islam. We can never judge a person to say whether they are going to heaven or hell. It's only upto Allah to judge. If they never knew about Islam , may be they will be excused, because God is Just and Merciful.
3. We can never be sure whether we are good enough in this life and that's the beauty of it. We have to strive until our last breath to do good deeds, seek repentance for our known and unknown sins.This uncertainty is essential for us to keep doing good as much as we can. We will know whether you were successful only on our deaths.
4. If your friend sincerely pardons you in this life after you repented to God and sought the friend and did everything in your power to repair the harm you caused him (in pursuit of excellence), you won't have to bear that burden in the hereafter. If that person you wronged didn't forgive you in this life, you will face retribution from God on the wronged one's behalf to enact his justice. Along with that, you will bear the sin of disobeying God by oppressing your fellow creation. But you will not be punished for eternity for that particular sin(It is an injustice). Allah says: "Whoever will come to Allah with a good deed shall have ten times as much, and whoever will come to Allah with an evil deed, shall be requited with no more than the like of it. They shall not be wronged." (Qur'an 6:160)

 

1. I think you didn't read what I said thoroughly. There will be retribution for everything. If the wrongdoer sincerely repents, God can repay the person who was wronged very well. He is capable of doing anything. Why are you limiting his mercy and justice?
2. You are welcome.
3. If you already have an assurance for heaven, you can do any sin since you will be forgiven because of your belief? or just sit back and relax doing no good deeds? Such kind of mentality is not good for the proper progression of human kind. Human beings shouldn't be that much arrogant before God who deserves to be served and worshiped without any limits. How much ever you worship him or serve him, it will not be enough to show gratitude for even a few of his blessings on us.
4. Who said everyone in hellfire will be punished in eternity? A person who believed in God and his messengers, but he transgressed the limits , may be forgiven without punishment if he had repented in this life, but if he didn't repent, he will be punished as a recompense for his sins. He will enter paradise after the punishment recompenses his sins. When a person kills another person in this life unjustly, it's the destruction of body. Why does Allah have to destroy the soul for that? The one who was killed will be recompensed for the wrong that was done on him. And God is capable of doing that very well.
(...whoever will come to Allah with an evil deed, shall be requited with no more than the like of it. They shall not be wronged." [Qur'an 6:160])
And he doesn't need a perfect atonement by someone perfect to forgive his creations, because he is infinitely merciful and oft-forgiving. The transgressions of the creation has no effect on him. Whether they obey or do not obey, it will not reduce anything from his kingdom or majesty.. That's why belief is always a choice.. I think the problem here is that you perceive God through some kind of anthropomorphic lens, and expect him to be like human beings...
May Peace and blessings of God be upon you..

 

I see... There are clear differences between us.
We believe God is capable of enacting mercy without compromising his justice in the afterlife.
And we know that God looks to hearts and deeds. A person's faith necessitates him to perform righteous deeds. The former may not suffice. And we believe each of our good deeds will be counted and rewarded.
A Just God will look at the hard work that his creation put in to pleasing him. The faith in him as the only one worthy of worship is necessary because that is the basic acknowledgement of his uncountable blessings on us. We believe that even true faith comes only with strife to achieve it. A person who sins, at the time of sinning is without faith. Because, if he had faith that he is being watched by God at that time, he wouldn't have sinned.
It's too irrational to believe that God will treat the same way a person who tried everything in his power to please him during his lifetime and a person who sinned all his life and disobeyed him, just because both of them believed in something. That's against his justice.
Why did he reveal the ten commandments and the Torah with many laws in the first place, then?
With due respect to your beliefs, let me be frank. From our perspective, The New testament which is written by people like Paul and others who are not prophets of God, several decades after Jesus left this earth, is not as believable as Qur'an or Torah- which are direct revelations to God's messengers... We believe these are just assumptions they made about God... So let's agree to disagree here.

5. It's blasphemous in Islam to think that God has any similarity with anything we know or anything we can imagine. Yes he bestowed a few of his noble qualities to his creation. But the extends of these qualities that God possesses, are unimaginable for man.

Thanks for your clarifications. we will strive in his path until our death doing as many good deeds as possible and try our level best to avoid sins, God willing... May God guide us all to the straight path he is pleased with..
Peace...
(P.S. If you want to continue the conversation, we can begin another thread and copy and paste all these there. This discussion was not the intended topic of this thread.)

 

Alhamdulillah... 109 days.. I would like to share some of my realizations during this journey. I hope some of you may find it helpful. So for the last one month or so, I took a harder approach. I avoided everything that is unncecessary- instagram, facebook, youtube, every useless info out of the bay. Social media was limited to just whatsapp... And I controlled my eyes, lowered my gaze from everything that is useless- which means not just that is haram, just that is not concerning me... It did wonders, I feel. I have gained a more peaceful mind... I wish I can continue like this forever.. I've got past many of my insecurities and have become less judgmental about people around me, I believe... But I want to eradicate prejudice and prejudgment from myself. I want to see people for their character, and not for any of their external appearances..
Moreover, there is a level of self confidence that enables me to do things that I think is right without fearing what people would think.. This change is phenomenal. I'm ready to stand different from the crowd..
One thing I still have to work on is time management which is not going very well so far. I'm not giving enough time for memorization of Qur'an which is most probably the reason for absence of barakah in my time...It's all a matter of priority...

 

Aameen..

May Allah make us the people of Qur'an.. Aameen

 

I think some of us have a wrong attitude towards shaythaan and his deeds. We shouldn't blame shaythaan all the time we mess up. It's our fault. He can only whisper. We are the ones who do the mistake. We should take the responsibility. In fact that is what makes us(human beings) different from him. When he disobeyed Allah he blamed Allah for his disobedience (
قَالَ رَبِّ بِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي لَأُزَيِّنَنَّ لَهُمْ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَأُغْوِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْمَعِينَ . إِلَّا عِبَادَكَ مِنْهُمُ الْمُخْلَصِينَ
Iblis said: "My Lord! In the manner You led me to error, I will make things on earth seem attractive to them and lead all of them to error, but your sincere slaves.).

But when Adam AS and Hawwa SA made a mistake, even though they made the mistake due to the deception of shaythaan, they never blamed iblees. Instead they took the blame upon themselves. They prayed :
رَ‌بَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنفُسَنَا وَإِن لَّمْ تَغْفِرْ‌ لَنَا وَتَرْ‌حَمْنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِ‌ينَ"Our Lord, we have transgressed our own selves. If you don't forgive us and show mercy to us, we will be among the losers."

And on the day of Judgement:
{وَقَالَ الشَّيْطَانُ لَمَّا قُضِيَ الْأَمْرُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَعَدَكُمْ وَعْدَ الْحَقِّ وَوَعَدْتُكُمْ فَأَخْلَفْتُكُمْ وَمَا كَانَ لِي عَلَيْكُمْ مِنْ سُلْطَانٍ إِلَّا أَنْ دَعَوْتُكُمْ فَاسْتَجَبْتُمْ لِي فَلَا تَلُومُونِي وَلُومُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ مَا أَنَا بِمُصْرِخِكُمْ وَمَا أَنْتُمْ بِمُصْرِخِيَّ إِنِّي كَفَرْتُ بِمَا أَشْرَكْتُمُونِ مِنْ قَبْلُ إِنَّ الظَّالِمِينَ لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ} إبراهيم: 22
" And Satan will say when the matter has been concluded, “Indeed, Allah had promised you the promise of truth. And I promised you, but I betrayed you. But I had no authority over you except that I invited you, and you responded to me. So do not blame me; but blame yourselves. I cannot be called to your aid, nor can you be called to my aid. Indeed, I deny your association of me [with Allah ] before. Indeed, for the wrongdoers is a painful punishment.”(Ibrahim 14:22)
This is what I realized so far. Several times before, I sought refuge in Allah whenever I got an urge. Recited Ayat al kursi. Still i ended up sinning. So I realized, it's not shaytaan, but it's me and my nafs. So I stopped blaming everything and everyone else for my own acts. I'm the one who is responsible before Allah. I think that realization was crucial in my nofap journey. Moreover , we have see this from a medical perspective as well. This is a disease- an addiction. So, we have to see what experts say on the matter to de- addict ourselves, to rewire our brain.

 

One of the scariest ahadith:
جاء في ذنوب الخلوات الحديث الذي رواه ابن ماجه (4245) عَنْ ثَوْبَانَ رضي الله عنه عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَنَّهُ قَالَ : ( لأَعْلَمَنَّ أَقْوَامًا مِنْ أُمَّتِي يَأْتُونَ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ بِحَسَنَاتٍ أَمْثَالِ جِبَالِ تِهَامَةَ بِيضًا فَيَجْعَلُهَا اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ هَبَاءً مَنْثُورًا ) قَالَ ثَوْبَانُ : يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صِفْهُمْ لَنَا ، جَلِّهِمْ لَنَا أَنْ لاَ نَكُونَ مِنْهُمْ وَنَحْنُ لاَ نَعْلَمُ ، قَالَ : ( أَمَا إِنَّهُمْ إِخْوَانُكُمْ وَمِنْ جِلْدَتِكُمْ وَيَأْخُذُونَ مِنَ اللَّيْلِ كَمَا تَأْخُذُونَ وَلَكِنَّهُمْ أَقْوَامٌ إِذَا خَلَوْا بِمَحَارِمِ اللَّهِ انْتَهَكُوهَا ) . وصححه الألباني في " صحيح ابن ماجه " .

Ibn Maajah (4245) narrated from Thawbaan (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “I certainly know people of my ummah who will come on the Day of Resurrection with good deeds like the mountains of Tihaamah, but Allaah will make them like scattered dust.” Thawbaan said: O Messenger of Allaah, describe them to us and tell us more, so that we will not become of them unknowingly. He said: “They are your brothers and from your race, worshipping at night as you do, but they will be people who, when they are alone, transgress the sacred limits of Allaah.”

May Allah protect us and purify us.....

 

But again and again. let me tell you what I learned: if we want to succeed, we have to step up. We cannot expect the same results for the same actions. If we ar not succeeding, we have to change our actions. And I guarantee you, if we want a change genuinely, it's not enough to sincerely wish for it, we have to make sure we exhibit that desire to change THROUGH ACTIONS, by sacrificing our comfort. I can boldly say that Nofap is not about NOT DOING, but it's about DOING. Doing good productive things, being more spiritual. Otherwise, we cannot expect help from Allah.. So let's start doing...

 

From islamqa.info :
Firstly: we advise you to keep away from all sin, minor and major, and to beware of it and avoid it, for sin is bad news for the one who does it. We will quote here some of the effects of sin, as described by Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him):

1 – Being deprived of knowledge for knowledge is light that Allaah causes to reach the heart, and sin extinguishes that light. When al-Shaafa’i sat before Maalik and read to him, he admired him because of the intelligence, alertness and understanding that he saw in him. He said, “I think that Allaah has caused light to enter your heart, so do not extinguish it with the darkness of sin.”

2 – Being deprived of provision. In Musnad Ahmad it is narrated that Thawbaan said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘A man is deprived of provision because of the sins that he commits.’” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 4022, classed as hasan/sound by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah).

3 – Sense of alienation that comes between a person and his Lord, and between him and other people. One of the salaf (righteous predecessors) said: “If I disobey Allaah, I see that in the attitude of my riding beast and my wife.”

4 – Things become difficult for him, so that he does not turn his attention towards any matter but he finds the way blocked or he finds it difficult. By the same token, for the one who fears Allaah, things are made easy for him.

5 – The sinner will find darkness in his heart, which he will feel just as he feels the darkness of night. So this darkness affects his heart as the physical darkness affects his vision. For obedience is light and disobedience is darkness. The stronger the darkness grows, the greater becomes his confusion, until he falls into innovation, misguidance and other things that lead to doom, without even realizing, like a blind man who goes out in the darkness of the night, walking alone This darkness grows stronger until it covers the eyes, then it grows stronger until it covers the face, which appears dark and is seen by everyone. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas said: “Good deeds make the face light, give light to the heart, and bring about ample provision, physical strength and love in people’s hearts. Bad deeds make the face dark, give darkness to the heart, and bring about physical weakness, a lack of provision and hatred in people’s hearts.”

6 – Deprivation of worship and obedience. If sin brought no punishment other than that it prevents a person from doing an act of worship which is the opposite of sin, and cuts off access to other acts of worship, that would be bad enough. So the sin cuts off a third way and a fourth way and so on, and because of the sin he is cut off from many acts of worship, each of which would have been better for him than this world and everything in it. So he is like a man who eats food that is bound to cause a lengthy sickness, and thus he is deprived of many other foods that are better than that. And Allaah is the One Whose help we seek.

7 – Sin breeds sin until it dominates a person and he cannot escape from it.

8 – Sin weakens a person’s willpower. It gradually strengthens his will to commit sin and weakens his will to repent until there is no will in his heart to repent at all… so he seeks forgiveness and expresses repentance, but it is merely words on the lips, like the repentance of the liars, whose hearts are still determined to commit sin and persist in it. This is one of the most serious diseases that are most likely to lead to doom.

9 – He will become desensitized and will no longer find sin abhorrent, so it will become his habit, and he will not be bothered if people see him committing the sin or talk about him.

For the leaders of immorality, this is the ultimate shamelessness in which they find great pleasure, such that they feel proud of their sin and will speak of it to people who do not know that they have done it, saying, “O so and so, I did such and such.” Such people cannot be helped and the path to repentance is blocked for them in most cases. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “All of my ummah (followers) will be fine except for those who commit sin openly, and that includes cases where Allaah conceals a person’s sin, but the following morning he exposes himself and says, ‘O So and so, I did such and such last night, so he shamelessly exposes himself when all night his Lord had concealed his sin.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5949; Muslim, 2744).

10 – When there are many sins they leave a mark on the heart of the person who commits them, so he becomes one of the negligent. As one of the salaf said, concerning the aayah (verse)–

“Nay! But on their hearts is the Raan (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to earn”

[al-Mutaffifeen 83:14 – interpretation of the meaning] –

this means sin after sin.

How this starts is that the heart gets stained by sin, and if the sin increases then the stain grows bigger until it becomes the raan (covering of sin and evil deeds), then it increases until it becomes a seal, and the heart becomes covered and sealed. If that happens after a person had been guided and had understood, then his heart is turned upside down, and at that point the Shaytaan gains control over him and directs him as he wants.