180 days and thoughts

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by beous, Mar 9, 2018.

  1. beous

    beous New Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone,
    This is the first time I'm posting here even though I've been visiting now and then.
    So,

    Background about me (before nofap) :
    -Discover porn at ~11-12
    -Started viewing erotic pictures at the age of 14 and soon turning into videos
    -Been doing one fap a day or every another day
    -Average porn watching session is above 1 hour (I know)
    -Genre of them have been shifting to the more hardcore ones throughout years
    -After highschool, I was doing 2-3 faps a day with each session lasting at least 45 minutes and only did once a day if fatigue hit
    -Gets a hard on easily, anyplace and anywhr
    -Can get really horny when girls sit near me and stuff (was uneasy to act normal)
    -Started feeling problem with a long erection unless a hardcore was being viewed
    -Normal porn just aint doing anything for me
    -No confidence talking to girls, strangers and was just socially anxious and awkward.
    -Was often complimented by girls for being cute and stuff but I was pussy so
    -Never had any physical contacts with girls

    At 21,
    - Discovered Nofap a little over one year ago.
    - Tried it just to see if it works and to get my long lasting erection back
    - Started with reducing the frequency to one fap a week by watching non-sexual but tantalizing videos (kissing random girls etc)
    - This really WORKED. My erection was good even the video showed no skin and was just normal kissing
    - Didnt really feel any boost in confidence but its a lot better than what I used to be
    - After this, had no idea how but I somehow started abstaining from wanking at all
    - Wasn't keeping count but have been doing nofap for 2 weeks+ then relapsed then again for quite a few months.
    - Figured I could go longer and really commit to it.
    - Started with one month journey and then relapsed.
    - Felt really good in that one month. Confidence and all you name it.
    - Talking to girls is no longer a problem at ALL
    - Decided to start a real journey
    - After about one month, made out for the first time with this girl who my friend brought to the bar and surely soon enough I turned it into a FWB relationship (Just FYI I've every even touched a girl's hand before this and let alone kissing)
    - Had no problem achieving what I wanted to and expressing myself
    - Because of the FWB relationship, easily achieved nofap for 3 months (summer break)
    - At the same time, hung out with my highschool crush (that I really liked) and I told her I liked her without problem and she said she actually liked me a lot too but she's flying back to another country for school so thats it.
    - After school starts, I got back into my life and FWB relationship cut off (long distance)
    - Went back to casual porn and masturbation now and then
    - Was still confident and all
    - Fell in love with a coursemate of mine and stopped wanking without me even realizing it.
    - Have been abstaining for like 160 days during the pursue of the girl
    - During this period, I was NOT HONRY at all time, truly loved the girl and all I thought about was having a future with her. Never was I once fantasize about anything with her.
    - After months of pursue, got rejected horribly but I confessed and all without problem (was proud of myself for all that courage)
    - After the rejection, went back to fapping vigorously
    - First fap session was easily a binge which lasted a few hours and had 3 orgasms.
    - Been losing confidence and all, became socially awkward, couldn't hold a convo with anyone especially girls, heart pumping and all you name it but couldnt help it so
    - Tried to get back to nofap but always succumbed to it every 3 days ~ a week
    - Couldn't bare the weak me
    - Determined and decided to really nofap
    - The first month, the whole month, was HELL
    - It was the worst I've ever been, no confidence, tired ALL THE TIME no matter how much I slept, avoiding girls I like and stuff (I know)
    - Worst experience I ever had and my self-esteem was really fucked
    - Was doubting nofap and all but recalled what I achieved last time so I struggled through
    - After the 1 month mark, I didnt instantly gained all I lost back but it gradually came back (over a long course)
    - I reckoned I had my confidence and all back only after like 4-5 months of nofap
    - It was getting better all the time but it just wasnt there (cause I knew what I could have become)
    - Now at 180 days, I'm just at the best form, period.
    - I'm talking to girls without problem unless I'm really lack of sleep or I had one (or more) wet dreams the night before.
    - Yes I got twice wet dreams in one night at approximately ~160 days mark
    - Been having wet dreams like once every week now
    - Will feel a bit loss of the super power after WD but it's not gonna be a real problem and it goes away fast enough

    That's it.
    Thats my journey and I'm not gonna give up whatsoever now since I know I'll be really really fucked if I relapse again.
    It was a really really hard journey to get back into it.
    I've done 180 days and so can you.
    I'll prolly post again when I hit 365.
    Cheers.
     
  2. SkyFallBack

    SkyFallBack Fapstronaut

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    Good working! Keep it up. Remember the reason you started and stick to it!
     
    j_pwc_bat likes this.
  3. j_pwc_bat

    j_pwc_bat Fapstronaut

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    "That's it.
    Thats my journey and I'm not gonna give up whatsoever now since I know I'll be really really fucked if I relapse again.
    It was a really really hard journey to get back into it.
    I've done 180 days and so can you.
    I'll prolly post again when I hit 365.
    Cheers."

    GOOD POST ....... KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK !!!!
     
    FearMyDiscipline likes this.

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