136 days - Still no benefits

Focus on building the new, not destroying the old.

You have gotten rid of your old habits, which you should be proud of, but by not creating new habits you don't really have anything to be happy about. You use to enjoy games and porn and junk food, and when you got rid of them you didn't really replace them with anything to look forward to, like a hobby.

You like Japanese, maybe there is a Japanese club or anime club that you could join and meet new people in and help you improve your speaking. If you like programming try do some projects and build up a little portfolio and then try get some freelance work. Learn to speak to yourself in the mirror or join a toast makers or debating club. Go to the gym and get in better shape, or learn how to cook good meals.
Right now you sound like you just pity yourself and are too scared to do anything. Self-pitying is a self-fulfilling prophecy, so start finding the good things in your life and focus on those instead or you will go down a slippery slope.
If you are scared of joining the clubs because of what people will think, just think about it this way, you don't have any friends(or so you say) so by joining the club you won't be losing any will you, it is a win win, you either make new friends, learn how a new skill, or you learn how to handle embarrassment and looking like a fool. No one will think less of you for trying to get better at something.

You say that you don't want to read, or really do anything because you have to study(reading good books will teach you more about life than studying will btw), but do you actually study 10+ hours a day????
A really cool thing to do is to make a timetable, with a space for every hour that you are usually awake, so maybe 8:00am to 11:00pm. That is 14 hours that you can get stuff done in. You can fill it in if you want, but by seeing it it really shows that there is no excuse for not getting everything done that you want to get done.

Maybe go on the subreddit 'getdisciplined'. You should just try to get into some habits, even if you don't entirely enjoy it just do it, because it is better than nothing and once you get into the habit you won't need motivation to continue.

So please don't pity yourself or put yourself down and say you don't have any friends and that you are a failure. 25 is a young age where you have your whole life ahead of you. You have 5 years until then. You can move as slowly as you want, but as long as you make some progress every day(even just a tiny amount) you will be a completely different person by that time.

Best of luck man

 

Fantastic!

 

Man this is pure gold what you have said here! It made my day today - well it started pretty good, but I it gave me extra energy to go through the day - thanks a lot!!

 

like someone said here - we're all different. (You may be in a flatline)
I'm not sure what's bringing u down, but I have a few honest suggestions.

You could -
1) drink liquor and go to a party
2) drink by yourself (Idc what anyone says nothing wrong with drinking by yourself)
3) try various psychedelic drugs (shrooms, LSD), learn about yourself, society, the universe
4) workout, get strong (and not just some, A LOT)
5) shoot guns at the shooting range (this is fucking FUN)
6) take a benzo (x-nax, kpins) and talk to girls
7) TV, Movies you haven't scene yet (there's alota good anime out there!)
8) Get money
9) Try various drugs (Just never inject anything - research before you do drugs)

And for the grand faunally
10) Get Laid (this should turn your frown upside down)

From one 20 year old to another...
[disclaimer - before anyone says "golgo why would u suggest drugs?" because they can help u out, this guy says hes bored with life. The stuff on the list are things I have done and I'm a better person because of it. + your free to do whatever you want so don't ban me over this ok lol]

 

1.: Congrats to 136 days hard mode, that's awesome!

2.: It took me almost 2 years (20 months) until I felt a really big and fundamental change. OK, there was a step like every 3-5 months, but only now, I really feel that a new life approach has truly settled.


I see a lot of of "I have stopped" in your posting, but what have you actually started ?

It is good to be abstinent from PMO, but this is the first step. the real thing comes when you begin to focus on your life goals. What do you want to reach in life? What are you dreams?

A good advice and exercise for you:

Take a pen and piece of paper and write down a list of goals you want to reach. Write it down by hand, and also speak it out loudly! It is very important that you have a clear picture of what you actually want. Be honest to yourself. This list is only for yourself, nobody needs to know.

And then also write down a precise first step towards your goals:

• Something you can do today.
• Something you can do until Sunday.
• Something you can do in February.

It is really important to write down and speak out. You need to have it in front of your vision. Your brain likes to see, hear, touch and feel. You are programming your mind with this. The best is to repeat this every day in the morning. When you wake up, stay some minutes, relax, and get a vision of your long-term goals and your short-term-goals. Try to get a clear vision in your mind, of a precise situation you want to be in.

Be patient and do this for a while. After a few weeks, you will see an effect!

 

Ask yourself this;

If you were born in the era before technology laptops tvs Internet ie 100 years ago what would you be doing?

Problem is technology has so many problems ie people dont have to get off their arse to do shopping as they can get home delivery. Kids very rarely play on the streets like they did 20+ years ago. Nowadays kids sit in front of some console and play with "e" friends for hours... no opportunity to enhance social skills.

Do you get the gist?

 

Look into AutoSuggestion. You need to move towards something. You are removing vises from your life, which is great. But you need to work on something positive to fill it with.

 

Here is a great book:

http://www.amazon.com/Buddhas-Brain...8&qid=1453932091&sr=1-1&keywords=buddha+brain

I am re-reading it right now. You can train your brain to be happy.

 

Snake juggling. That made me laugh.

Seriously though. You seem like a right sad sack. You've managed something that most guys on here would love. Many people would love to have gotten so far in their abstinence. On the other hand, don't buy into that stuff about NoFap giving you superpowers. It doesn't. You make your own destiny. Go out and do something. You say you always feel guilty because you should be studying. But if you're not actually studying when you should be studying then it makes little difference.

Studies have shown that it's actually unhealthy to study say in day out anyway. You should limit it to smaller chunks. Which means it's perfectly acceptable to do something to enrich your life in between.

If you don't have friends, I seriously suggest you go out and meet new people. That is what university is about. I made my closest friends in uni and you will find it 10 times harder when you're older with jobs and bills etc. You should be having the time of your life. But nothing is going to happen if you sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Jogging is a great idea, but it is usually a solitary activity. I would suggest you do something to meet people. That will open up other activities.

Surely your university has clubs and groups? Sign up for some. Say hello to people. Smile. Even if you don't feel like it. It will make a huge difference.

 

to each his own. A round 100 days I'm a different person.

 

I don't doubt that you are. But I'm sure you've developed different ways to improve your life as well.

 

Ok there is some pretty weird and downright bad advice on this thread.

It sounds to me like you're depressed and maybe now is the time to seek professional help? Talking things through with a psychiatrist for example might really help.

Well done with quitting PMO, really massive achievement. But I think you need re-evauluate, make some changes. Picking up on one thing you said about being out of work, i can say that the only time in my life i have been properly depressed is when unemployed. So also look into retraining. I wish you luck!

 

It does not give you superpowers, it just frees your existing powers.

Instead of wasting your energy for inner convolutions and endless hours of excessive pmo behaviour, you simply invest your energy in real-world-challenges.

• The PMO addict constantly postpones everything; he works only in last minute and is constantly under stress, always being discontent.
  
• The balanced man simply does the work, always flowingly, and he is relaxed and content all time.

 

Yes. This is what I mean. It unlocks the potential you already posses. You are free to persue new interests and goals. Quitting alone will not help you achieve these things. You have to make a concious effort to put yourself out there.

As for depression, I believe this is something the op should look into. But he has stated that he isn't depressed so I think it unlikely he will seek help. Try answering the depression questionaire on the nhsdirect website. This should give you some indication of you really are depressed.