NoFap

  1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

12 days in, still super uptight about my erection

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Haggis, Feb 1, 2015.

  1. Feb 1, 2015 #1
    Haggis

    Haggis Fapstronaut

    488
    683
    93
    So I'm 12 days into my streak and the wife and I had been having some great sex during the first 8 or so days. I might have some trouble maintaining a full erection and I understood that as simply part of the process of rebooting everything (shaking off the death grip, dopamine levels, all that) but everything was hunky dory for the most part in my head.

    I know I'm only 12 days down but I'm still having times where I'm still so mentally uptight about my erection that I psych myself out of being able to perform. Just had one about 20 minutes ago as a matter of fact, I went soft in the midst of things.

    I'm wonderfully in the moment when my wife and I are just hanging out, doing normal things. If we're kissing or making out and sex just organically happens, I have little trouble with my ED. It seems, however, that if sex is spontaneous or planned out or something like that, then I'm immediately on edge. I start worrying if I'll be able to perform and it's downhill from there.

    My wife is incredibly supportive of everything that's happening with me, so it's certainly not any pressure or negativity that she's putting off. ED is certainly a demasculating thing, however, and it is a blow to my ego every time I'm not able to please my wife the way I want to. I know the reboot process takes time and I have to continue to stay the course and I will eventually reap the reward.

    I've heard that the process varies from person to person and that it can take months to fully recover in some cases. I am a very patient person and know that a few months is a drop in the bucket compared to a lifetime of happiness, but it sure doesn't make the process any easier right now, heh.

    So yeah, 12 days in and still bumming super hard about my ED, but I'm trying to stay positive :)

    Stay the course, brothers.
     
    Haggis, Feb 1, 2015
    Haggis, Feb 1, 2015
    #1
  2. Feb 1, 2015 #2
    Monster Carrot

    Monster Carrot Fapstronaut

    1,010
    1,297
    143
    This sounds familiar to some extent. With me though, it's hard to be interested at all if it's planned out like you mentioned. I am much more interested if it's something spontaneous or if it was "my idea", as selfish as that sounds. I guess being the guy, I like to be more in control. I am lucky my wife actually likes that.

    As far as your reboot, I would say you have already seen incredible gains from just 12 days, judging from your previous posts. Just keep thinking about what 30, 60, or 90 days will do for you. Yeah, I totally understand the frustrations with not progressing fast enough. Whatever you do, DON'T let your discouragement translate into a frustration-induced relapse. You would be incredibly pissed off at yourself if you started all over again.

    It helps that you are a very patient person. And it sounds like your wife is a sweetheart. Hopefully she can see some real evidence of your changes pretty soon. Stay the course! :)
     
    Monster Carrot, Feb 1, 2015
    Monster Carrot, Feb 1, 2015
    #2
  3. Feb 2, 2015 #3
    firdi

    firdi Guest

    Don't pressure yourself Haggis. Pressure ruins performance like nothing else. Know that your doing (or not doing) all that is in your hands to make 'it' work.

    Should not expect 12 days to drastically affect years of conditioning. Your doing excellent. Don't stress yourself out. Continue with the natural progress and it's all going to be worth it.
     
    firdi, Feb 2, 2015
    firdi, Feb 2, 2015
    #3
  4. Feb 2, 2015 #4
    Haggis

    Haggis Fapstronaut

    488
    683
    93
    You two are saints, guys. I really appreciate your responses. Sometimes I need to be reminded of the time frame I'm looking at and the progress made thus far.

    13 days in and staying strong :)
     
    Haggis, Feb 2, 2015
    Haggis, Feb 2, 2015
    #4
  5. Feb 2, 2015 #5
    newlifeahead

    newlifeahead Fapstronaut

    54
    22
    18
    G'day Haggis,

    I am just dropping by to say, keep up the good work! 13 days is amazing my friend. Not here to give any advice, since I am probably the last person you should hear from:)

    Just been wondering, and I hope you dont mind me asking, how much do you share about your addiction with your wife? Everything & even the setbacks? As you can see, a few hours ago I had a relapse. I havent told my wife yet, and I wonder if I should. I am just not sure what benefit there is, if she knows, except it would most likely hurt our marriage again. She knows about my struggles and that I work hard on my recovery. We do also talk about it every day. But I am afraid telling her about the setbacks.

    Have a great day & say NO to PMO!

    Best regards,

    Chris Aka NewLifeAhead
     
    newlifeahead, Feb 2, 2015
    newlifeahead, Feb 2, 2015
    #5

Share This Page