108 days

Hey guys haven't been on here in a long time, I can't remember when I was on here probably 3 or 4 months ago, that was a real gross time in my life but I just wanted to post on here because I've been getting urges lately and that kind of reminded me of this site. Somewhere along my streak (which I'm still on, didn't relapse) I forgot all about this site, which is actually a good thing, being on this site all day probably isn't a good thing for you if you're trying to live a better life. I will say I do feel more confident, when I think back to the porn I used to watch I can't help but think that it was so disgusting and that it is so fake, your mind definitely shifts because that all becomes foreign to you it's something I can't even fathom that I indulged in, this shift in mindset definitely changed my mind like I've matured. I will say I do feel guilty every time I see a picture of a pretty girl on the internet I don't know why and think this is probably just me being to strict on myself but I can't help but feel kind of guilty gawking at a picture of a pretty girl as if It was kind of a form of porn for me. My mind is a lot clearer, I can concentrate on things better, I've learned a lot of things a long the way I can't even name them all but it's made me a much better person in the course of just a few months, I feel more manly. I do still have SA and maybe some minor depression but I think that's because these things were not caused by the PMO addiction but just amplified by it. Quitting PMO definitely helped lower my anxiety and depression and for other people it might get rid of them completely so I definitely encourage sticking with it. I've been having an urge lately probably because I've been fantasizing a bit because I want a mate so badly but my SA and depression makes it harder for me to get into a relationship that I so desperately want but the good thing is that I recognize this and won't let these thoughts and feelings dictate my behavior, I won't FAP. Anyways I'm kind of just venting now, might of sound depressing but really I am definitely feeling better than I did when I was PMOing, I would probably be 5 times more depressed and anxious than I am now so I'm definitely thankful for it and I can't help but feel a little badass at time for sticking with this nofap thing because I don't give in to that gross, fake, childish shit.

 

Good for you man, stand up for yourself

 

No I didn't thanks for the suggestion though, I'll start slowly doing pushups soon cause I am a scrawny dude, I actually have an appointment with a dietitian soon hopefully, so I hope to get to building on a body I can be confident about.

 

Thanks man that's what I've been trying to do, weekly I have college classes so I'm not just in my room all day like before, I have been exposing myself a lot and I will say it did help a little but I still really have that strong anxiety there, and It will persists so I'll be needing therapy or meds OR a combination of the two to really get this under wraps. As for girls they aren't as hard for me to talk to as before I feel that SLIGHT badassness when talking to them but it's nothing compared to how I'd be talking to them if I didn't have SA anyways it definitely helps talking to a girl knowing that you aren't a guy that beats their meat to porn.

 

I spammed that emergency button man xD I don't think I've ever had an urge this strong since my last relapse

 

Thanks man but you inspire me my friend, only a few weeks into nofap and you already got yourself a girlfriend? Good shit my man and holding down a job which is something people with SA have a lot of trouble doing, you're doing great man keep it up the confidence will only keep coming until you reach a point where it will just feels like the norm for you.