10 year's freedom from pmo - my Catholic method

A member on the Christian forum has written so:

'' We often have the knowledge needed to break this addiction. We usually have the knowledge necessary for avoiding relapses and staying on track. But for some reason we don't always apply our knowledge practically. And this is strange, very strange.''

In my opinion, the statement above is false. What I believe it should be is this: We often lack the knowledge required to overcome this addiction. It may seem like we possess it, but we frequently lack the practical understanding needed to prevent relapses and stay on the right path.
What we usually have is a mixture of partially effective methods, which are often incomplete. We do not know what is truly essential and should be done consistently versus what is less important and merely supplementary. Consequently, it's not surprising that only few people achieve freedom from pmo.

If we knew from the beginning what to do and how to do it, the only thing lacking would be our commitment and effort. This would lead to many more individuals successfully overcoming their addiction.

 

This is what I meant by knowledge. Many don't know what the main reason for their addiction is - the lack of communion with God as a result not living according to His laws. And many don't know that the first and most important are the two - prayer ( and many don't know how to pray reciting only some words etc.) combined with repentance meant as a way to live according to what God awaits of us, what the true purpose of our lives is. Not knowing this or not believing this, many try to use thousands of ineffective or only partially or temporary effective means to get rid of PMO.
In order to ask God for grace one needs first to know and believe that no other way exists - and many lack the knowledge. They think they can repair themselves by discipline and efforts of will plus reading tips of other addicts etc.

 

''My people are ruined for lack of knowledge! Since you have rejected knowledge ...
(Hebrew word used here is 'daath' - in highest sense, knowledge of God (including obedience)
...Since you have forgotten the law of your God ...I will punish them for their ways,and repay them for their deeds....they will promote prostitution ...For the spirit of prostitution has led them astray ....Thus a people without understanding comes to ruin....like a stubborn cow...Israel is stubborn''

 

yes, but before I promised for so long I had promised gradually for much shorter periods, beginning from a 15 minute promise, then I made it gradually longer and longer but only after completing the previous promise. Without promises I feel I can give in easily. But beside the promises not to PMO there are simultaneously promises to pray each time when dangerously tempted. Without prayer promises don't work.

You got it right. I would be free to PMO which doesn't mean it would be good. It would be a grave sin or many consecutive grave sins leading potentially to a hard addiction again. I would only be free to do it without breaking any promise after 10 years are over (next year in March).

It's because I mustn't break any promise. If I break one then all my method won't work or will work very poorly. I remember that in my youth I many times promised NEVER to do PMO. And guess what would happen after that. I broke many times such promises. I think only after one has lots of not broken completed promises and if they last for many years then one is ready to make a never again promise. I simply don't know if I endure such a promise having my past experiences in head with broken never again promises. Maybe it's better for me another new promises for some limited time. I don't know but what I know I must be very careful with any promises.

But hypothetically - even if I started PMO-ing after completing the 10 year long string of promises then after some time I will know what the working method looks like and I could any time come back to my prayer + promises + repentance method. And at least I would have these 10 free years during which I have achieved many things beside of abstaining from PMO. Having this in my head I doubt I would remain longer time in an active PMO binge. I simply don't like being a slave to anything and hate feeling and really being a looser in many aspects of my life, I had been in my active addiction.

 

My thoughts to what CPilot wrote a few days ago:

I don't ponder this. It's no use to do so because nobody can change themselves by thinking about the ways and means. A sinless life (of course sinless to some extent) is only a byproduct of living in a growing sanctifying grace. So what shoud we ponder is the ways and means how to increase this grace. It's like there is dirty water in the bath. It's practically impossible in home conditions to make the water clean by trying to get rid of the dirt. How will you do it? You'll throw a towel into the water trying to collect the dirt on it? Or what? ( Of course it's possible in a laboratory condition to do it using filters etc. but we talk about our home means). But in home conditions we can do so: turn on the tap and let the clean water into the dirty ... the more the clean water from the tap the cleaner the water in the bath.
The legend: the clean water from the tap = God's grace.
So what are the means to get, collect more and more grace, sanctifying grace. Our Church teaches it. - prayer, Sacraments, good acts (if you try more and more to live according to God's Word (the Bible + Church teaching (Tradition).

The psychological self-analysis is in my opinion one of the main or even the main obstacle in individual Christian life. It's often that prayer is mostly or even exclusively a psychological self-analysis. So instead of being with God we are only alone and instead of talking to God we talk to ourselves. This is not a prayer , and maybe this is a cause why many people say "" prayer doesn't help", ''prayer hasn't changed me, the Mass hasn't changed me, receiving Communion hasn't changed me, I'm the same as 20 or 30 years ago, it doesn't work''

In brief: I must focus on God, on communion with Him, on being in his presence (prayer) and the rest (grace) will float into me like the clean water from the tap, into my dirty soul, mind, will ... cleaning them gradually.

Such is my understanding.

By the way - getting rid of PMO is a byproduct too. A byproduct of filling oneself more and more with God's water from the tap. And I guarantee - there is no need of other means. Or better said they are useful but not crucial.

 

But what do you apologise for? You simply expressed your reaction to my post. You did it tactfully without abusive words. Everyone has their rights to express their different opinions. If not then we start building a society of mutual adoration which is detrimental to the talk and opinion expressing.

 

No, you can't promise not to accept bad thoughts because almost nobody can control their thoughts or such a control would be very energy consuming. I never have written that we should promise not to accept bad thoughts. But I have written that we can promise to pray when bad thoughts and bad emotions occur in our mind.
So I can promise that when occur in my mind and heart bad thoughts and bad emotions I will be praying at least for 15 minutes (for example).
or I can even promise that when occur in my mind and heart bad thoughts and bad emotions I will be praying at least for 15 minutes and if the bad thoughts and emotions won't go away I will be praying for the second time.
or I can I can even promise that when occur in my mind and heart bad thoughts and bad emotions I will be praying at least for 15 minutes and if the bad thoughts and emotions won't go away I will be praying for the second time. And if the bad thoughts and emotions won't go away I will be praying for the third time.
And so on. (you can promise to pray for the fourth, fifth , .... time (in case the bad thoughts and emotions won't go away)

So you can only promise to pray when in bad thoughts and / or emotions but you can't promise to fight bad thoughts and / or emotions because we people have almost no power over our thoughts and emotions.

So once again you can promise in such cases:
1. When you're tempted that you will pray as long as the temptation is present and as many times as the temptation comes back (once I had to pray with many breaks for 8 hours until the temptation to PMO went away, and I was the winner then)

2. When you're tempted you can promise that you won't PMO for a limited time (some minutes, or some hours, or a day, a few days etc.) but such a promise must be combined always with promise 1. (you will pray as long as the temptation is present and as many times as the temptation comes back) and promise 3 (below)

3. When you feel bad emotions / thoughts that you will pray during them in the manner as I described it above.

So, fighting PMO you do 3 promises for the same time because only to promise that you won't PMO, without promising to pray at the temptation will bring as a result breaking of your promise. And when you do nothing when you feel bad thoughts and emotions you risk to break promises 1. and 2. because bad thoughts and emotions can easily prevail your will and you'll break the promises 1. and 2.

So once again do three promises for the same time. This will ensure you victory.

You can promise in other situations too but better ask me before because without your own experience in promising you may not know which promise is doable and which is better to avoid. I have promised many times in many different situations for 10 years now so I think I have some experience in this field.

This shows that you aren't ready yet to promise for longer time. You can promise for longer time only if you feel that it's possible for you to keep this promise. For example when I was able to keep a promise for 2 days I knew that I'm not ready for a promise for a week (that would be too long because of the difference between 2 days and seven days. I felt that I can endure a time two times longer than 2 days, so I promised for 4 days...)
As you see you will feel for how long you can promise without too much risk. If you feel insecure don't promise for long. If now you can promise for 1 day so you aren't ready to promise something for 3 days. It would be too long for you to endure.

You don't know when temptation comes back. Many times it was that a strong temptation came suddenly and if I hadn't been in promise time I knew that I wouldn't have stopped this sudden temptation and that I would have given in and PMO. So it's much better to promise even if you are temptation free because of the sudden attacks. As long as you are addicted such sudden attacks will surprise you.
I have had no longer sudden temptation attacks for 7 or 8 years but when I was addicted I experienced them many times.

 

But you know, addicts cannot even stop welcoming and stop opening to impure thoughts. That means you can try to stop them and to not open to them but it will cost you lots of effort and it will come an hour when you totally tired will give in.

Not only this. Prayer brings God's healing grace to your emotions, thoughts and your will. So your emotions, thoughts and will are going to heal and as a result the impure thoughts and emotions will be diminished. So , in brief, you aren't able to stop impure thoughts for longer time but prayer ( grace) is able to do this.

 

SAINT PADRE PIO: 10 SIGNS THAT THE DEVIL IS ATTACKING YOU

(My comment - Many or almost all of the 10 signs often turned up before or during my PMO temptations. I understand their task was to weaken my will, mind and physical strength to lead me to PMO. The PMO was a result of these attacks because I totally exhausted looked for my 'best means to relax - PMO'. As we can see we must act much sooner before PMO temptations come. If we waste the time by our passivity then to fall is only a matter of time. Look at the prayer - it occurs in almost every point as a means to overcome the problem)

1. unexplainable anxiety and fear - making us doubt God's love and protection. These emotions can be overwhelming, making it challenging to focus on faith, prayer.


Overcoming such attacks involves prayer, meditation, and seeking spiritual counsel.

2. spiritual dryness — a feeling of God's absence or distance. It can lead to a sense of isolation and disconnection from one's faith.

To combat spiritual dryness, Padre Pio recommended perseverance in prayer. Seeking the support and guidance of a spiritual advisor or priest can be invaluable during such periods.

3. persistent negative thoughts - These thoughts often focus on one's unworthiness, sins, or failures and can be a tactic used by the devil to lead individuals away from a sense of hope and trust in God.

To counteract these negative thoughts, St. Padre Pio advised turning to prayer and the sacraments, which can help individuals find solace and spiritual healing.

4. doubt in faith - Doubt in one's faith, religious beliefs, or the existence of God is a common sign of a spiritual attack.

To combat doubt, it is essential to engage in open and honest dialogue with knowledgeable spiritual advisers, study religious texts, and seek answers to questions and concerns. Strengthening one's faith through prayer, reflection, and engagement with a supportive faith community can help dispel doubts.


5. intense temptations - Intense and persistent temptations to commit sins.
These temptations may take the form of desires to engage in behaviors that one knows are wrong, such as lying, cheating, or indulging in sinful pleasures.

Overcoming intense temptations involves prayer, self-discipline, and self-awareness. Seeking the guidance of a spiritual advisor or confessor can be particularly helpful.


6. interference in prayer - Experiencing disruptions or disturbances during prayer or meditation can be another possible sign of a spiritual attack.

These disruptions might manifest as mental distractions, intrusive thoughts, or an inability to concentrate. St. Padre Pio understood that the devil could attempt to hinder our communication with God by disrupting our moments of spiritual connection.
Such interference can lead to frustration and a sense of spiritual distance.

To counteract these interferences in prayer, it's important to maintain a consistent prayer routine and develop techniques to refocus the mind.
Believers can restore the depth and quality of their prayer life.


7. conflict and strife in relationships. The devil often seeks to create discord, anger, and resentment in our relationships with others. A sudden increase in conflicts with loved ones, friends, or colleagues can be a sign of a spiritual attack. These conflicts may be characterized by hostility, misunderstandings, and an overall sense of strife.
Recognizing these conflicts as potentially diabolical influences can motivate individuals to work towards reconciliation, forgiveness, and peaceful coexistence.

Overcoming - Seeking guidance from a trusted counselor or spiritual advisor.

8. physical and emotional exhaustion - Sudden and persistent physical or emotional exhaustion can be a sign of a spiritual attack. The devil may use such weariness to weaken one's resistance to negative spiritual influences. Exhaustion can make it difficult to engage in spiritual practices, attend religious gatherings, or maintain a strong connection to one's faith.

Overcoming physical and emotional exhaustion involves setting boundaries, taking time for rest and recuperation, and seeking support from a faith community.

9.recurrent sickness or health issues - Persistent and unexplained health problems. In cases where individuals experience unrelenting health issues without a clear medical explanation, it's possible that the devil may be attempting to weaken them both physically and spiritually.

Overcoming - Consulting healthcare professionals is essential for addressing the physical aspects of health issues, while seeking the assistance of a spiritual advisor or prayer for spiritual healing is equally important. Integrating both medical and spiritual approaches can lead to a holistic recovery.

10. Aversion to spiritual practices - avoiding or neglecting religious duties and spiritual practices is another sign that the devil may be attacking an individual's faith. These practices, such as attending church, praying, or reading religious texts, are vital for nurturing one's connection to God. When someone experiences a strong aversion to these practices, it can indicate a spiritual attack that aims to distance them from their faith.

Overcoming - St. Padre Pio emphasized the importance of persevering in spiritual practices even when they become challenging. To redouble their efforts in maintaining their spiritual routines. To overcome an aversion to spiritual practices, it's crucial to seek spiritual guidance and support from a faith community.

By recognizing this aversion as potentially diabolical influences, individuals can take steps to restore their spiritual connection and remain steadfast in their faith, resisting attempts to weaken their bond with God.

(My comment - What would happen if I didn't use prayer as soon as any of the 10 signs occur? I would fall soon, even after almost 10 years of freedom. My main fatal mistake in the past was to be passive and not to start or stay in prayer. I only tried to fight when temptation came but it was too late. I see most believers do the same mistake and they still wonder why they give in again and again).

Source (youtube):

 

My thoughts on 'GOD EVERY WHERE PRESENT' By Monsieur BOUDON which 2 parts have been published by Fulton on his thread.

'the Sovereign Lord.. is at all times present in every place; we cannot but wonder to see Christians pay as little attention to His presence, as if they knew it not, or thought it nothing to them.'

My comment - Christians (addicted to PMO) pay little attention to His presence during prayer. That's why they often say - I prayed at the time of temptation but it didn't help me enough or even didn't help me. I'll try something else instead - cold shower for instance. If they pay little attention to His presence when they pray then what they pay huge attention to when they pray? Answer - to themselves, to their plans, emotions, fears, pleasant thoughts, memories, conversations, imagined conversations where they are always victors, watched movies, played computer games etc. How God can work through His grace when we neglect Him even in prayer? It's like - you want to get sun tanned you go out in the sun in summer but you open an umbrella over all of your body. If your prayer looks (mostly) like this then you are right with your conclusion - prayer (God) doesn't work or works not sufficient. But it's your fault. You aren't open to God and His work, even during prayer. How do I know it? My prayer looked like this for decades. And in those decades I wondered why God hadn't rescued me from PMO. After that I got to know thanks a book about prayer by Fr. Blachnicki 'The tent of meeting' that I had been doing the basic mistake in prayer. He called such a defective prayer talking to oneself, psychoanalyse.


'By faith therefore we have it in our power, to enjoy God on earth whenever we please, and the enjoying Him in this way, as it is a kind of foretaste '

My comment - what is this foretaste? For example God's healing from the actual temptation or even urge. If I pray fighting constantly for paying the most possible attention to His presence then it's mostly some minutes enough to cool my PMO desires down and dispel most of negative emotions and thoughts which brought me to PMO temptations.

' God ... spoke to Abram on making a covenant with him: Walk before me and be perfect. For this walking before God we cannot suppose to be any thing else but walking by faith in His divine presence, so as never to lose sight of Him; and whoever does this, will be perfect, as the ancient Patriarchs, who did it, were. Many, as I said before, have perfected themselves in sanctity by the same means '

My comment - Walking before God, walking by faith in His presence, not losing sight of Him - this describes how prayer should be and our struggle during the prayer - never to lose sight of Him. If we do such a struggle in private, public prayer, in Mass , adoration of the Most Holy Sacrament etc. (anytime where prayer is involved) then we can experience more and more sanctity, becoming perfect.
What is one of the results of our more sanctity, perfection? We become more and more free from PMO enslavement. It simply works like this. We can't become more PMO free by exercising our will power, journaling, reading books with tips, accountability partners etc. (This all helps but not enough and)

'Whosoever should well establish the thought and remembrance of the presence of God amongst men, ... would banish sin from the face of the earth'

My comment - in prayer we establish the thought of the presence of God and as a result we banish PMO sin. In such a way works a good prayer.

'M. Gregory of Nyssa - it is He who maintains there all beings, and who assists all their motions'

My comment - our motions to get rid of PMO, who can assist these motions in us ? God in prayer.

'They (several persons) have been taught from their childhood that God is every where, by his presence, and by his power: but as they are only taught these things by rote, they are to them only words which they repeat without understanding them.'

My comment - every Catholic knows God is everywhere. Less Catholics know His power is everywhere to get. But only a few practise this knowledge and they pray each time they need God's power in their needs.
If PMO addicts don't pray in temptation or negative emotions, thoughts (leading in our case to PMO temptations and then PMO acts) then they prove that the saving presence of God in prayer is only words taught in religion classes, sermons, religious books or mum's instructions. Something abstract, not used doesn't work. It's like not used umbrellas don't work when it's rainy.