So I'm Zeke, I'm 20 years old, the longest I've ever gone without pmo over the past 10 years is 15 days, that was a month or 2 ago and I got super sick, I don't know if it's because of the absence of dopamime or what. It's very frustrating feeling like I can't control myself, what I'm on here for is to ask for some straight forward advice that will have me wanting to dedicate myself to keep trudging out of the mud and muck that is pmo to move on to better, brighter things and live a more awesome life.
Hi @zeke1st you have arrived at the right destination. My advice is to look around, interact, learn about dopamine addiction, habit cycles. Read about the long term damage PM can do to your life. Conjour up a "worst case senario" for yourself. .... how would you feel if a relative, son/daughter found you lying unconscious in a pool of your own mess having just had a heart attack. The porn videos playing, jocks around your ankles with your hand on your dick. Get that sick feeling and associate it with PM make it real, until it makes you want to vomit because it's vile. HATE it with a passion. Come to realise to stop it means it's going to be life changing. Things in your life will have to change. Here is a good place to start. It's helped me a lot just being here, interacting and documenting my progress. Good luck with a life changing decision. Brit
Hey Zeke, You've made a good start just by coming here and having the confidence to ask the question. Britaxe is right, keep reading. Yourbrainonporn.com is excellent place to start. You can overcome this. Or... you can do what I did, and struggle with it for another 10 years, lose a fiance to it, become involved in porn that makes me utterly ashamed of my (past) self, and waste a vast amount of time that could have been used on better things. I could be so much farther ahead with my ambitions if I had not wasted so much time with porn. Take a couple of hours to write down some answers to the following questions, and keep the answers close by so that you can re-read them when you're struggling: what problems have porn caused me? how has porn changed me in ways that I don't like? how does my porn use hurt my partner (if you've got one) or others (e.g. your family or the people who live with you)? what problems could happen in the future if I continue to use porn? what are the top six things that matter most to me in my life? what ambitions do I want to achieve? What are my morals and values? What are my religious beliefs (if applicable)? who is most important in my life, and how do I want to treat him/her? What personal traits do I want to be known for? How would I like to contibute to the lives of people that I care about? How would I like to contribute to my community and society? In what ways does porn use conflict with my values, beliefs and life goals? (these questions I borrowed/adapted from an amazing book called "The Porn Trap" by Wendy and Larry Maltz, I can't recommend it enough) Then start putting in place daily habits that strengthen your resolve to stop using porn. I find that starting my day with some motivational reading really helps (the first thing I do is to use the NoFap Emergency app on my phone, press the emergency button, and read the stories and posts). Build exercise into your life. Take cold showers when you are tempted to fap. Focus on working on the things you really want to achieve. Talk to people on here about your problems and your success stories. If you can, talk to people around you about it too: you might have a supportive family member or girlfriend/boyfriend. If you don't have someone who can support you through this, then find someone who can: the accountability partner system on this forum might work, or you might benefit from counselling (counselling really helped me realise I had a problem and acknowledge how much harm it was doing). You can do this.
