Being pretty - a power thing?

It sounds like a lot of your beliefs are based on some biased notion that the beautiful people have it made. I used to have the same biased until I met my friend. The reality is there are a lot of attractive women who haven't been snatched up and there are a lot that have been snatched up by douchebags, simply because a lot of good men can't get over their "I'm not worthy" or "I'm not good enough" or "she's too hot for me" bullshit. Sadly a lot of good men won't help a good looking struggling gal because they self sabotage themselves with their own insecurities.

The douchebags are triumphing because of the effeminacy of good men who are too afraid to do what's hard or out of their comfort zone in order to get the good looking gal.

 

Oh ho ho. Asking me, a feminist, what I think about this? I don't like how society has made us think make-up = pretty. No make-up = lazy. I don't wear make-up. At first it was pride: well I may not be as pretty as her but at least I don't use make-up as a crutch. I was envious tbh. I could be that pretty if only I had the skill. Now it's I don't wear make up because I never needed it. I like that. I like that I can look myself in the mirror and acknowledge that my actual skin isn't perfect but still okay to me.
That what women wear or whatever must be for men and not the self...also, lesbians exist. Most importantly I think we don't know what each other is going through. I mean we let out secrets here because we have the space to do so...others out there are still hiding.

 

The Truth .

 

I have known a beautiful woman who DIDN'T do this and who also had a lot of problems with men even though she DID appreciate men and she FINALLY got married for the first time in her 40s to a lovely guy. My point being, NOT every beautiful woman is the same. She was stereotypically beautiful and still DIDN'T have an easy love life. The two don't always go hand-in-hand.

 

Ew, I'm really glad I DON'T look like a porn star now!

 

I don't get hassled in the street, but I have this problem with a lot of guys seeing me only sexually. Like before I've done ANYTHING. And I actually dress very modestly, very little make up etc. So, sometimes we have to deal with that. When I was a lot younger, I also on occasion DID have other women jealous of me too. There were even two girls who were very nasty to me because they thought i was going to steal their boyfriends! Again, I did NOTHING to imply that.

I'm glad I don't have it so bad I don't want to leave my home, and that's really sad your friend is going through this, that's awful :-(

 

All the pieces of art are beautiful. Yet nothing has to be beautiful to be piece of art.

 

I think Don really nailed it, it's all about acceptance. Either acceptance from others or just acceptance from ourselves. Sure, there are some biological standards of beauty. But for the most part it's just conditioning of society. We have these artificially crated standards of beauty in our heads. And if we do not meet those standards we feel that our worth is less. We measure our beauty mostly comparing ourselves with others and following popular opinion and standards. I think it's just in a nature of humans. We are social creatures, so other people's thoughts matter.

 

We think alike.

 

I had a male friend refer to me as a "sporty friend" when I said about loving ice skating and cycling and I loved being referred to as "sporty". He even said his other female friends wouldn't do the sporty thing he and I were cos they might mess up their hair! I love that I'm NOT like that (though my hair practically has a dreadlock in it at the moment I might actually go to a salon!)

I think PMO really IS a mindf"ck for women, and for men. I'm glad I didn't get into porn, the visual side, but even from things I've read and MOed to, it's been incredibly bad for my self esteem.