I get upset because I can't get sex

I really wish I had an answer for you besides "get your thinking straight".

You're 17 and have raging hormones. As did I at 17, and probably everyone else who read this. We've all been there, come through it and become grown-ups. But we did it by manning up and dealing with it. I wish you luck in readjusting your thinking about your relationships with women.

 

Not true.

Wait until you actually get to college before making the call then. You've got a year or two to pull yourself up in the looks department, let the college partying do the rest.

 

http://www.damemagazine.com/2014/02/26/has-porn-ruined-our-sex-lives-forever

Whelp, women aren't enjoying sex nowadays because porn has trained guys that they're entitled to hooking up and that's it.

When girls are young, they respect themselves. They aren't easy. They just aren't embittered by getting fucked around and fucked over by guys yet. Don't believe the porn myths. They have feelings of kindness, warmth, affection, intimacy and horniness toward you-- they trust you're going to be a decent person that wants what they want, which is to be nice to you and be treated nicely.

Every time she's not treated nicely/used for sex, she gets a little harder and more messed up and she swallows her emotional needs or tries to get them met through meaningless sex, leading her to hate herself. -----And that's the dating pool college guys are dipping into, breaking off weak casual sex that's more about getting respect from other guys than it is about mutual pleasure. -----Because porn teaches men that women are just holes and they love being treated like slabs of meat to pound on and you might as well learn now, it's just not true (unless she's the only one he's doing that with.)

If you ask these college guys how they're going about getting sex, I promise there's a lot of things going on they would not want done to their daughters or for their mothers to find out about as far as fair and respectful treatment.

And please remember that no one is entitled to sex. You can't get upset about it. Work on your interpersonal skills, sex will follow.

 

So do you still feel like you objectify women, as you mentioned here? Because (in my judgement) this sounds like it may be connected, as though you're seeing women predominantly as sex objects. I'm not trying to deny the normal sexual drive that we all have to deal with, but is it possible that you're seeing these girls through the twisted filters you've developed through your porn use?

I know this has been true for me from time to time, and the reason it's not overtaken me is that I'm determined to have normal social relationships with them. Sometimes that develops into something sexual, but most often it doesn't. I have, however, changed my expectations and not allowed myself to weave them into my fantasies.

 

When did you start looking at porn? I'm curious, because your path is going to be wildly different from mine. When I was 17, porn was pretty much painted on cave walls...

 

At that age I'd not even seen porn beyond fleeting glimpses of my uncle's Playboy stash, so my puberty was unsullied by porn-filtered expectations! Your experience is, as I thought, wildly different from mine; I had several years of (relative) innocence, seeing girls as pretty, attractive, arousing strange feelings. But they never were sexual objects in my mind. Does this make sense?